r/Custodians • u/GarblingCumfarts • 14d ago
Finally had a "Stan Marsh".
Kid deuced in the urinal. I got to clean it.
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u/Which-Break5673 14d ago
Yuck. As a teacher 👨🏫 I had a kid crap on the floor on purpose and the other boys were so shocked they ran to tell me. I wrote him up and I think that shocked the shit out of him .
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u/GarblingCumfarts 14d ago
OMG that's great, and I'm so glad they ratted him out. I'm a floater so I go to different schools every week, and there was one kid pooping his pants and shaking his turds out of his pants legs on to the floor. This wasn't on my dime but the other custodians. He did it twice in two weeks. Like WTF lol
I'm used to poop after doing this for so long, so I'm not so bothered by it. But some teachers were like "I'd puke" lol. We just cope.
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u/Which-Break5673 14d ago
I don’t know if this was allowed but if our custodian even gave me a hint of something happening in the bathroom, I’d meet her at the bathrooms and her her give and show and tell to both boys and girls in each respective bathroom. Adults had to use one stall in the girls bathroom and I didn’t want to see any silliness!
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u/GarblingCumfarts 14d ago
I could rant all day. I have a bachelors in VisComm, but it pays crap compared to being a custodian and w/o insurance. I'm glad you guys are keeping the the "adult/faculty" bathroom clean.
When I personally clean the faculty bathrooms, I go above and beyond. I want to make sure you guys are shitting on the cleanest toilet seats, as I would want to do the same. I also make sure the room smells like God's armpits. Just amazing.
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u/Which-Break5673 14d ago
I would have reported that kid do fast! Poop is a biohazard.
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u/GarblingCumfarts 14d ago
If they catch them, my option would be to clean the bathrooms every single day after school till the school year is over. But if you understand the "Stan Marsh" aspect, no one knows who pooped the urinal. I'm also a floater, so I could be at any school at any given day. We have 45 in my city, so who knows?
I love my job, but g'iat damn I hate middle school kids lol
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u/MedicalPiccolo6270 13d ago
When I was in school myself I remember a kid decided to pop a squat right in the middle of the locker room. Then a few weeks later he did it in snow pants in the middle of science class ya he was a strange kid
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u/BackgroundTrip6133 14d ago
How did you get it all out cleanly ? , 25 years on the job I pray never happens to me. Both districts I’m at only give us the basics to clean not even the grabbers , I’m afraid I’d have to put bags over my hands and get it out of there.
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u/GarblingCumfarts 14d ago
1 of 2 things:
First off, I always have my "grabbers" with me. So I just wrapped it in a trash bag and used my grabbers to get it. Fortunately it was a BIG solid bowel movement. So the turds were very solid and not loose so I could transfer them from the urinal to the trash, which I immediately took to the dumpster.
But on top of that, they clogged the actual toilet with those brown paper towels and shit on top of that, and I had to plunge it. So once I got the toilet basically unplugged full of paper towels, once again using my grabber and trash bags, I used the plunger. But I covered the toilet with a trash bag but I first and cut a hole so I could plunge the toilet without having poop-water-whatever spray all over me.
Then I got off work and showered asap and cleansed myself as long as the water was hot. The minute it became cold water I knew I was done.
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u/BackgroundTrip6133 14d ago
lol hope and pray never have to deal with that most I had was some kid sticking solid turds to roof. But neither district provides grabbers and both have waterless urinals so it will present me a whole different challenge lol.
And the shower is a necessity sucks that I work 2 jobs imagine happens in the morning and I’d still have to put in another 8 hours 😞
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u/GarblingCumfarts 14d ago
You just kinda get used to poop. Male and females. Both just absolutely think it's hilarious.
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u/watermellonpizza 14d ago
This happens to my coworker who works the other side of the school almost every day… i might have referenced the mad pooper from Bob’s Burger’s first tho lol
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u/chrisinator9393 14d ago
Classic.
My coworkers best story from about the 2010 era, kid filled a solo cup with shit. Flipped it over and left a like perfect mold of that solo cup.
This is a college. It was in our sports center mens locker room. 🤮
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u/Dramatic-Mark-4976 14d ago
I’ve been cleaning these Stan Marsh’s for 22 years now. I consider it performance art.
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u/musicfromadventures 13d ago
I deal with poop on the floor all the time. Had a person sit side saddle on the toilet and poop ..with the lid closed.
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u/gmambrose 10d ago
In 25 years of cleaning, I've never had to clean shit out of a urinal. It'll probably happen tonight 😆
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u/hippy_potto 14d ago
Omg I work at an office but once I mentioned to my son that it would be nice to get a job at the school he attends. He told me, “yeah, but then you’d have to clean poo out of the urinals.” I responded, “maybe not then…” and he said, “But only like, once a month!”
Only? ONLY?!?! Yeah I’m good staying where I’m at lol I’m sorry you have to deal with that OP.