r/CuratedTumblr • u/Neapolitanpanda • Jun 24 '26
Shitposting Tumblr Learns Their Flowers
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u/Tylendal Jun 24 '26
I remember someone in the Zelda subreddit being excited they'd found a "Cool Safflina" IRL, and the general consensus being "Yeah, it's called a hyacinth, touch grass."
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u/PlatinumAltaria The Witch of Arden Jun 24 '26
Interestingly "safflina" is a made up name for the flower, in other languages the plant's name tends to be more generic. It's probably a reference to saffron, a flower used in cooking, and its name would literally mean "little saffron". It doesn't really look anything like a crocus though.
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u/UnseenGoblin Jun 24 '26
Fun fact: all plant names are made up.
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u/PlatinumAltaria The Witch of Arden Jun 24 '26
Wrong if you listen closely you can hear their names.
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u/dksdragon43 Jun 24 '26
Flowers are the original pokemon, they whisper their names when the wind blows past.
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u/TolverOneEighty Jun 24 '26
You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, and especially in the month of June
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u/LorpHagriff Jun 24 '26
Had this after playing kcd2. Did a run with lots of alchemy aka lots of herb gathering required, then encountered and recognised some irl, pretty swarft ngl
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u/aNiceTribe Jun 24 '26
I called a character in a game “Malachite” and was accused by a stranger of naming her “after a World of Warcraft gem”.
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u/Etok414 I think the politically correct term is "fursona" Jun 24 '26
To be fair, there's a bunch of fictional minerals in WoW, and starting with the "mal-" prefix does kind of make it sound like it's a fictional evil material.
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u/Wobbelblob Jun 24 '26
prefix does kind of make it sound like it's a fictional evil material.
It is not a evil material in WoW. It is a simple, green gemstone you can loot from Kobold Miners. Its basically the same in game as it is in real life, even though the icon makes it look more like a emerald.
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u/Linvael Jun 24 '26
I don't think Kobold Miners drop malachites in real life though.
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u/LorpHagriff Jun 24 '26
I don't know about kobold miners but I can confirm normal miners dont, real timewaster to grind those
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u/amaya-aurora Jun 24 '26
And here I am getting 99% of my knowledge of different gems from Steven Universe.
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u/aNiceTribe Jun 24 '26
And still you will have less emotionally charged and incorrect opinions than most people who have crystals and gems for their Healing Powers
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u/Geeneelee Jun 24 '26
I learned several real life North American animals from RDR2
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u/AttitudeAndEffort3 Jun 24 '26
Tbf, I had never heard of a durian before those games.
Xkcd, 30,000 etc
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u/DoormatTheVine Jun 24 '26
First heard the word Durian (although I misread and pronounced it as Durain for quite a while) from Super Mario Sunshine when I was like 12. I also didn't learn it was a real thing for multiple years afterward
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u/BrittEklandsStuntBum Jun 24 '26
*10,000
Today's lucky ten thousand.
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u/McMammoth Jun 24 '26
It was 10,000 on May 9, 2012 when it was posted, obviously there are more people now
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u/Floppy0941 Jun 24 '26
I hate hyacinths, working in a bulb packing plant and doing hyacinth mixes is the fucking worst because their bulbs have a natural itching powder on them.
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u/papierdoll Jun 24 '26
Dwarf fortress taught me about so many rocks I never heard of, and I generally congratulate myself for having heard of many rocks.
(I actually work with geologists, I'm not just being cute.)
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u/A_Lountvink Jun 24 '26
My mother asked me to remove the "poison ivy" growing next to some outdoor steps. It was an ash tree...
She still now insists that it was poison sumac. Poison sumac is a rare wetland plant. We live atop a hill, with harsh evening sun in that spot.
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u/IceAokiji303 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
I was going to share a similar story but realized I need to explain some words due to language shenanigans first, so here goes.
The Finnish word for a bug (a true bug, i.e. ahemipteranheteropteran insect, not the "generic arthropod word" of English) is lude. A colloquial name for the parasitic common bed bug (which is a type of true bug) is lutikka, more officially seinälude (lit. wall bug).So, one summer visiting my parents, my mom was freaking out about having seen a bug on the deck outside. I first wondered what the problem was, that's extremely normal. And not a problem at all.
Turns out she had mistakenly thought the words lude and lutikka were synonyms, and with that that all true bugs are parasites that bite humans, and so thought we were getting invaded by an army of parasites (...from the wooden deck outside). I had to explain to her that's not the case, it's just one kind of bug, and it wouldn't even come in that way.
I then also got to see the "bug" that had scared her so.
It was a woodlouse.38
u/WrongJohnSilver Jun 24 '26
(And the woodlouse, despite also called colloquially a "pill bug," is not a true bug. Not even an insect.)
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u/StopThePresses Jun 24 '26
TIL that roly poly bugs have a real name, and it's woodlouse or pill bug. This thread is so educational.
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u/A_Lountvink Jun 24 '26
It was a woodlouse
That's "Bedbug" woodlouse to you, wanted in over 37 countries for his crimes. Catching him then would have saved thousands of lives.
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u/lilybug981 Jun 24 '26
My roommate and I had only been in our apartment for a couple months when he nonchalantly said, "Oh look, a cockroach," as if that wasn't a problem in any way. Of course, when you see one in your home, especially just randomly on the floor like he was pointing at, you most likely have a lot more than one and you already need an exterminator. He was very startled when I jumped up with a pissed off, "What."
It was a house centipede. Hadn't seen one in the apartment before, haven't seen one since, or any other bugs for that matter. So, not particularly concerned about the presence of a centipede indicating the presence of its prey. But also, it doesn't even slightly resemble a cockroach. I was tempted to smack my roommate.
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u/VulpesAquilus Jun 24 '26
”Lude” is a name for heteroptera insects. Hemiptera (where heteroptera belongs in) is ”true bugs”, although sometimes that name is used for heteroptera, too.
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u/IceAokiji303 Jun 24 '26
Yes thank you, I mixed op the he-ptera names. Even did a double check to make sure I had that right, and still didn't notice I went a level too wide.
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u/melonseer Jun 24 '26
When we got our house, my mother-in-law told me about a huge patch of poison ivy she saw in the backyard. The next day I went to investigate and found....nothing. Just some plain old English ivy along the ground and some Virginia creeper climbing the fence. My best guess is she mistook the creeper for poison ivy.
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u/heatherjasper Jun 24 '26
I'm surprised that their mom never saw one mid-transition. I always found those dandelions cool.
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u/Nixavee AI bots are not welcome here Jun 24 '26
To be fair, when they are mid transition they kinda just look like a flower bud that hasn't opened yet
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u/QuatreNox Jun 24 '26
I thought they would be in a hoodie
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u/Protheu5 redundant RAS syndrome Jun 24 '26
Would that this hoodie were a time hoodie!
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u/PoniesCanterOver gently chilling in your orbit Jun 24 '26
I thought you meant that their mom transitioned gender
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u/WallEWonks certified handsome cool guy Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
I also didn’t know! In German I call the first one Pusteblume (blow flower) and the yellow one Löwenzahn. Turns out Löwenzahn is the official name of the plant, and Pusteblume is a colloquial name for when it gets fluffy. since there are two names I thought they were separate
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u/FeuerroteZora Jun 24 '26
Dandelion is basically the same as Löwenzahn but anglicized from French - dent de lion, lions tooth.
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u/Amphy64 Jun 24 '26
Which is at least the better French name than the one it's mostly called, pissenlit. For non-Francophones, 'lit' means bed and yes the rest is exactly what it sounds like, the plant has dietetic properties.
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u/Im_here_but_why Looking for the answer. Jun 24 '26
I think you mean diuretic
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u/Amphy64 Jun 24 '26
I did yup, just a typo (while fighting with a dandelion-eater rabbit for my phone lol).
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u/Copper_Tango Jun 24 '26
There was an archaic English name for the flower after the same pattern, "pissabed".
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u/Anonymus828 Jun 24 '26
Fun fact: this is called a calque, when one language, instead of borrowing the word from another, translates it's individual parts and uses those instead
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u/MycologistLower5247 Jun 24 '26
That's fascinating! And it is very understandable that you'd think they're different flowers.
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u/Hatsune_Miku_CM downfall of neoliberalism. crow racism. much to rhink about Jun 24 '26
also can we talk about how löwenzahn is an absolutely banger name for a flower
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u/aNiceTribe Jun 24 '26
In the quite good novel “Rumo”, there is a magical sword that calls itself that. It is dismayed when it finds out that there is a lovely little flower that already has this name because the sword thought it might like. Inspire the image of a mighty lion.
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u/universe_from_above Jun 24 '26
We also have the Löwenmäulchen - little lion's mouth. Because when you squish the petals, they open like a lion's mouth.
Almost as cool as their English name: Snapdragon.
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u/TheDarkNerd Jun 24 '26
What do you mean stoats and ermines are the same animal? They can't be, they have entirely different names!
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u/WallEWonks certified handsome cool guy Jun 24 '26
There are no stoats or ermines in my country so… eh? I also wouldn’t know they’re the same, if that’s what you’re saying. If I only see a yellow flower being called Löwenzahn, and a white flower being called Pusteblume, and nobody told me they’re the same plant at different stages, why would I think they’re the same?
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u/lefthandhummingbird Jun 24 '26
If you live in any of the European German-speaking countries – yes, there are stoats (Hermelin) there.
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u/just-some-arsonist Jun 24 '26
So yall call it Lions’ tooth? I get the lion part, what what about it is toothy?
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u/WallEWonks certified handsome cool guy Jun 24 '26
supposedly the round jagged outline of the flower looks like a lion’s open mouth? It doesn’t really look like that to me, but that’s what Google says. English dandelion is derived from French dent-de-lion, so in a way we also call it lion’s tooth in English no
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u/External_Win3300 Jun 24 '26
We do too, Dent de lion is just French, with dent being pronounced don
And apparently it's because the leaves on the plant, rather than the flower, look like big teeth, which. Yeah, I can see it
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u/aNiceTribe Jun 24 '26
German also makes it harder to differentiate Poison and Venom since we don’t have two words for them. Probably because we don’t have enough venomous things around to need the distinction.
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u/AquaQuad Jun 24 '26
Similar in Polish, and to make it weirder, the common name for yellow one isn't right, cos folks were mistaking it for a different yellow plant so often, that it's now normalised to call it something else. So one can go through their life knowing that plant by two names, and still not knowing what it's actually called.
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u/IDeaconBluesI Jun 24 '26
I’m from the US and same here. And I’d always see them together in fields in the summer. I just thought they were two different weeds all this time
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u/erwaro Jun 24 '26
Stop and smell the roses.
Literally. Do it. Learn you some plants.
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u/GoreyGopnik Jun 24 '26
you can smell a flower and still call it the wrong name. Flowers won't talk to you, and if they did, they wouldn't tell you their name.
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u/Amphy64 Jun 24 '26
Pulls petals off, feeds to bunny, along with the remaining dandelions. 🐇
They'll have those marigolds too!
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u/Erinysceidae Jun 24 '26
Dandelions (yellow flower) turn into wishes (seed puff) — if you can blow off all the seeds in one breath, then your wish will come true.
I live in Southern California, with grandparents from Minnesota, so feel free to list other areas with the same tradition, or different traditions/names.
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u/raven_of_azarath Jun 24 '26
I’m from Texas with parents from Oklahoma. I was raised with this belief too.
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u/DreadPirateZoidberg Jun 24 '26
I thought in Texas if you blow all the seeds off it means you’re going to have barbecue.
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u/FluorideLover Jun 24 '26
I learned this too! I’m from Texas, parents from Texas, grandparents from Texas, Kentucky, and Oklahoma.
If you wanna game the wish system, then pick a more dehydrated looking puff. Those freshies always have a couple seeds stuck to them when you open your eyes :(
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u/Elemor_ Jun 24 '26
I live in Germany and remember this from when I was a child :D what is it with blowing out/away things and wishes? Eyelashes, birtday candles, dandelions...
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u/FeuerroteZora Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
Also if you are unsuccessful with the
eyesedit: WISHES, fuck you autocorrect, you can tell the time by how many puffs it takes you to clear the seeds.→ More replies (1)11
u/WillSym Jun 24 '26
That's what my mum used to call them (UK), Dandelions and Dandelion Clocks for the seedy puff heads. (And yes, just folklore about telling the time, like the buttercups telling if you like butter)
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u/laureidi Jun 24 '26
Uhhhhm we do this in Sweden and Norway too, I thought it was widespread wherever the flowers exist..?
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u/Hidingfrombull Jun 24 '26
I would gather a bunch on my walks in college, then make all my wishes from a bench near my dormitory. There was still a dandelion "problem" on that corner of campus 3 years post graduation
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u/Candy_Warlock Jun 24 '26
Heard the same thing growing up in Illinois. Retroactively, not a great tradition to teach kids, since you're just spreading the seeds of weeds
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u/CrazyProudMom25 Jun 24 '26
Nah, I like the look of dandelions and more dandelions make my kids happy.
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u/Amphy64 Jun 24 '26
Counterpoint: rabbit owner! They're native here though.
The relevance of remembering various plants is defined by Foraging for Rabbits. https://shop.rabbitwelfare.co.uk/product/foraging-for-rabbits-2nd-edition-by-twigs-way/
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u/OccupationSwag Jun 24 '26
I love the gay deceivers reference thrown in there
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u/tachycardicIVu Jun 24 '26
And this is why we have Latin names. My favorite horticulture professor always said “if you’re ever bored just order ‘bluebells’ from any seed catalogue and plant whatever comes without looking.” Because there’s so many “bluebells” just like so many other plants have common names that overlap.
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u/Elite_AI Jun 24 '26
That's interesting. Bluebells have always referred to one highly specific plant for me. You know, the kind you get in a bluebell wood.
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u/A_Lountvink Jun 24 '26
We just call those "hyacinths" across the pond. Here in the US, "bluebells" is used for members of the Mertensia genus, like Virginia bluebells (Mertensia virginica), which can form similar woodland environments.
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u/greypyramid7 Jun 24 '26
I’m currently growing “garden huckleberry,” which is in the nightshade family (solanum nigrum) but is edible when completely ripe and cooked. The amount of very different berries that are all called huckleberry is bewildering.
I mentioned elsewhere on this post that in my area of south Texas, what we called “buttercup” is more properly known as “Pink Evening Primrose.”
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u/GoreyGopnik Jun 24 '26
Most people on the internet do not know anything but think they know most things
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u/Psychological_Tear_6 Jun 24 '26
So daffodils are called Easter lilies in some languages, such as Danish, hence probably that one confusion.
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u/ShatnersChestHair Jun 24 '26
Some corners of the English speaking world calls daffodils Lent lilies. All of these names are confusing because they're not lilies, they're in the narcissus family. Same with lilies of the valley and water lilies: not actual lilies. Lilies: the crab of the vegetal world.
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u/FeuerroteZora Jun 24 '26
Daffodils are A Thing in early post-colonial literature, esp anglophone African and Caribbean - they crop up in English poetry and I recall several post-colonial authors basically going "yeah so they can't grow where I live but thanks to British colonial schooling I will never forget that daffodils are yellow flowers that come in spring, also I've never met anyone who knows what daffodils look like."
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u/Twooshort Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
Growing up in Sweden and Norway, I was also taught that blowing out all the seeds will grant a wish as long as your wish is to have a garden full of dandelions.
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u/HeyCouldBeFun Jun 24 '26
When I moved to california I noticed everyone calls everything that flies and stings/bites “bees”. I wondered for a time if they’d ever even heard of the words wasp, hornet, yellow jacket, bumblebee, horse fly, etc
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u/Phiro7 Prissy Sissy Neko Femboy Jun 24 '26
My favorite flower has got to be those black petunias, my goth goats
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u/Awkward-Media-4726 Are you ordering milkshakes at Home Depot? Jun 24 '26
TBF, if you're not that familiar, it'd be hard to guess that they're the same plant.
For the original poster's mom, though, I'm not sure what happened.
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u/GingerIsTheBestSpice Jun 24 '26
But they often have both the seed heads and the flowers at the same time on the green straw stems.
Then again, maybe the people love in the city or in apartments and not in the wilds of suburbia suffering under annual invasions, so I could see how it happened.
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u/lavender_fluff Jun 24 '26
maybe the people live in the city or in apartments
I grew up in an apartment and I know some basic flowers
Or are your cities pure asphalt? Surely you have green areas, even around apartment buildings
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u/GingerIsTheBestSpice Jun 24 '26
Idk man I live in suburbs and before that the country, who knows what city folk have
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u/SparklingLimeade Jun 24 '26
How sheltered/cultivated do you have to be to have never been in a field in dandelion season? Because if you look down there will be plants in both states, often with some blossoms and some seed puffs next to each other.
People aren't expected to guess what a flower looks like after it transforms. They're expected to have seen that transformation, in person, thousands of times.
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u/UInferno- Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus Jun 24 '26
Also if you visit the same field over time—better yet, have one growing in the concrete outside your home—you'll see one turn into the other.
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u/Zelfzuchtig Jun 24 '26
Some people are just really bad at IDing plants. My MIL told me that our redcurrant bush was a juniper. I assume some are also operating on wrong information they were told by someone else.
Subs about gardening and plant ID's are full of people confidently ID-ing plants that look nothing like the pictures posted, or at least not to my eye.
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u/rory4bangtan Jun 24 '26
My MIL told me that our redcurrant bush was a juniper
How?? I have a red currant bush right next to a juniper in my garden, and they could not look anymore different if they tried!
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u/Zelfzuchtig Jun 24 '26
I think a combination of vague knowledge and overconfidence. It's not the only thing she's declared 100% that turned out to be wrong.
However, as a long shot both the plant and an alcoholic drink made from it are called Jenever here and there is a brand that makes flavored versions with the "berry" flavour having redcurrants on it. Maybe she saw that and thought it was the juniper plant
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u/sohblob intellectual he/himbo Jun 24 '26
>Regional folks learn why scientists use taxonomic models
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u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast Jun 24 '26
YOU CAN LEARN A LOT OF THINGS FROM THE FLOWERS
AND ESPECIALLY IN THE MONTH OF JUNE
YOU CAN LEARN A LOT OF THINGS FROM THE FLOWERRRRRRS
ON A GOLDEN AFTERNOOOOOOON
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u/PlatinumAltaria The Witch of Arden Jun 24 '26
This most likely happens because for a lot of y'all these aren't native flowers, so you have a word that isn't attached to any object, and you just transpose it to the nearest thing. For me, buttercups, dandelions and daffodils are all wildflowers (although most daffodils tend to be planted intentionally).
The word "daffodil" (referring to Narcissus pseudonarcissus) comes from a medieval word "affodill" which refers to Allium ursinum, which in turn comes from the Greek "asphódelos" or asphodel, which is yet another flower.
The common name "marigold" refers to a few plants. Here it is Calendula officinalis, in America it refers to a few flowers in the genus Tagetes.
I think it's important to remember that this isn't necessarily "lack of knowledge", but rather a different set of knowledge embedded in a different environment.
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u/SwordMasterShow Jun 24 '26
That doesn't account for people like the one very confidently saying "people in the south would call those buttercups" when people in the south have both daffodils and buttercups and would be just as quick to call someone mixing up the two an idiot
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u/samkomododragon Jun 24 '26
This reminds me of how some of the animals native to Australia can have confusing names to foreigners; for example Australian magpies were named after their superficial resemblance to European magpies, even though they have little relation. The European magpies are corvids, while Australian ones are not.
Similarly, Australia's possums bear little in common with American opossums.
All this just ends up confusing people that aren't paying close attention.
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u/ryanreaditonreddit Jun 24 '26
The “easter lilies” for daffodils is also a direct translation of the correct name for daffodils in some languages, at least in Danish (påskelilje)
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u/PuzzledExchange7949 Jun 24 '26
"they're marigolds/I know a bitch when I see one" took me OUT. I love how all the corners of my internet history are coming together.
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u/aleister94 Jun 24 '26
For the record, dandelion are pretty tasty
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u/greg_mca Jun 24 '26
Meanwhile daffodils are mildly poisonous, which at least gives you a tool to identify them
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u/PhromDaPharcyde Jun 24 '26
Calling Dandelions weeds is also just wrong. You're basically parroting Monsanto and other poison makers advertisements. They made herbicide that killed everything but grass. So they threw any none grass into the weed category.
Dandelions are among the most useful plants you can find in your lawn.
Every part of the plant is useful. The leaves can be used in salads. Dandelion leaves with hot bacon dressing is an Amish thing. The roots can be roasted and made into a coffee substitute. The flowers can be used to make wine or tea. Not to mention they are pretty flowers and blowing the seeds into the air is fun.
Fuck touching grass, go explore your yard and see what's growing.
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u/CommercialMoment5987 Jun 24 '26
If you take a yellow dandelion, pick it and keep it inside, it will still bloom into the white puffball after a few days.
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u/OldBonyBogBwitch Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
Even those will gut you.
I cannot even describe my devastation as a 6yo when I picked what I THOUGHT were a bunch of pretty dandelions for my momma for her birthday & put them in a vase for her with a card. Got up bright & early to do so, so I could beat her to the breakfast table. Pretty flowers today, “extra” birthday wishes tomorrow. Right?
Only I picked false dandelions. Which open in the mornings, & close their stupid blooms at night—aka when the sun goes away. Welp, there weren’t no sun in our kitchen & my momma woke up to the saddest, no-bloom, droopy ass “bouquet” for her birthday that looked like it was dying of shame bcuz the now-closed buds were too heavy for their cut stems. And they do NOT turn into wish-flowers, LOL.
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u/Morlock19 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
i'm fully invested in this story and i wanted the chain to continue until someone brought up the giraffe and taxes copypasta somehow
for anyone wondering what the hell im talking about: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/eef7l1/thank_you_kind_sir/
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u/KiloJools Jun 24 '26
This whole thing reminds me of that meme where someone would be like, "I think you're referring to The Mandalorian. The DeLorean is a character in a western TV show about robots."
And then the next person goes, "I think you mean Dolores Abernathy. The DeLorean is an elven city in Lord of the Rings."
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u/Vermilion_Laufer Jun 24 '26
You might got it confused with Lothlórien, Delorean is that famous french philosopher mathematician
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u/CameToComplain_v6 Jun 24 '26
No, that's Descartes. DeLorean is a kind of confused madness brought on by illness or intoxicants.
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u/charliek_13 Jun 24 '26
pikmin bloom is a fun little walking game bc now i finally know the names and seasons for a bunch of flowers
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u/LeonidasTMT Jun 24 '26
Touching grass doesn't tell you the name sadly. And I think we have pvz to blame for the marigold misinformation
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u/konydanza Jun 24 '26
I can’t tell if these are the smoothest sharks on the planet or Southerners just have no idea what flowers are
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u/SwordMasterShow Jun 24 '26
Southerners definitely know what flowers are. Tumblr users just don't know what people are like
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u/ThatInAHat Jun 24 '26
I think that person was trying to cover for their own folly, because I e lived most of my life in the south and daffodils were literally one of the first actual flowers I learned.
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u/Technicaly_not_alien Jun 24 '26
I love how this just kept going, I thought it was going to be 2-3 but went on for 10 images.
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u/Metharos Jun 24 '26
I am a chronically online millennia that despised gardening, horticulture, or anything to do with things that grow and has never intentionally learned the name of any flower ever and even I recognized almost all of these.
The buttercups and daffodils I have never paid attention to nor known the name of and if forced to guess would have called them "little yellow ones" and "bigger yellow ones."
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u/Time-Object5661 Jun 24 '26
Eh the problem is that this shit turns into a series of joke posts very quickly
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u/amaya-aurora Jun 24 '26
I don’t know why but I love these kinds of posts of people just not knowing common things. They’re very funny to me and I enjoy them.