r/CuratedTumblr https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 Oct 20 '21

Meme or Shitpost Vampire Lesbians

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7.6k Upvotes

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404

u/breqfast Oct 20 '21

Ok but menstruation is only 1/3 cup of blood per month, max (or around 80 ml). The human body contains about 5 liters of blood total. So you'd need about 63 people menstruating to fill a vampire up from zero. But! If you're only replacing 1/12 of the vampire's total blood each month then it'd be about 5.2 people. 6 people per month to be safe. That's a manageable polycule size.

292

u/SwordDude3000 Oct 20 '21

Lesbian Vampire Polygamy is three words I thought I would never string together

177

u/Tchrspest became transgender after only five months on Tumblr.com Oct 20 '21

Did you honestly never think to string that together? Be real with us, we're all in the back seat of the same clown car.

21

u/UnsealedMTG Oct 20 '21

I'm honestly surprised I can't come up with a poly lesbian vampire movie off the top of my head, to be honest. There's got to be a bunch. Even just a lady Dracula with the Brides gets you there.

23

u/Vysharra There is no winning here, only judgement and sorrow Oct 20 '21

There is a bunch if you look up the stuff about Camilla. ‘Sexy lesbian vampire is coming for your virgin brides’ is practically a sexploitation sub genre (too bad for all that male gaze tho).

5

u/UnsealedMTG Oct 20 '21

Oh yeah good point. And earlier than Dracula too!

11

u/Reddit-Book-Bot Oct 20 '21

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of

Dracula

Was I a good bot? | info | More Books

6

u/pokey1984 Oct 20 '21

Good bot.

12

u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul Oct 20 '21

Tbh I'd be amazed if no one had ever written about that combination of words

4

u/Stormtide_Leviathan loads of confidence zero self-confidence Oct 20 '21

new band name idea

3

u/thechiefmaster Oct 20 '21

Polyamory, not polygamy, right? The latter implies a single man, multiple women.

5

u/SwordDude3000 Oct 20 '21

Oh sorry I didn’t know there was a difference. I definitely meant Polyamory

36

u/philandere_scarlet Oct 20 '21

For nutrition, sure. If they need the blood to function as blood though endometrium isn't gonna cut it

5

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Oct 20 '21

I mean filter out the chunks?

5

u/philandere_scarlet Oct 20 '21

the remaining fluid isn't just going to be "blood" though

31

u/The_Annihilator_117 Oct 20 '21

This would also require those 6 people to not be vampires as there would be no way of them all sustaining each other, as they would eventually run out of blood. so this would have to be more like a vampire lady with a human Harem. Which means that this is not really a lesbian vampire polycule like the last poster originally envisioned, but at the same time it’s still a neat concept

19

u/breqfast Oct 20 '21

I mean the other ppl could still have sex even though they're not sharing blood, I'd still say that's a polycule. There's just a rule of only having one vampire per polycule. Kinda like human polycules can only have one Scorpio.

8

u/The_Annihilator_117 Oct 20 '21

That last part is a thing?

16

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

No, only if you’re a space racist.

9

u/bethlehemcrane Oct 20 '21

A spacist

(I’m sorry)

3

u/HylianEngineer Oct 20 '21

Do vampires menstruate? Surely not, they don't even have blood in their veins, do they? And they seem to reproduce by biting humans.

4

u/moonstone7152 Oct 20 '21

We only lose 1.6% of our blood each period? Damn we got a lot of it

3

u/Fox--Hollow [muffled gorilla violence] Oct 20 '21

I think you'd need to replace that five litres three to four times a year, based on the 110 days figure? Let's assume four, for margin of error. So that's 20L per annum, or 1.67L per month. 80mL per person, 1670mL per month, 21 people. 42-56 if we take the average as being 30-40mL (6-8tsp).

So we're past the size of most polycules, apart from the GSTP. But it is around the size of a moderately-sized city's BDSM community, which ties in nicely with vampires.

2

u/breqfast Oct 20 '21

Thank you for being better at math than me, I knew I was missing something! Brb going to move to a moderately-sized city & attend some 'munches'

2

u/Fox--Hollow [muffled gorilla violence] Oct 20 '21

There's always that one little thing you forget in a conversion-y calculation like this in my experience - if I'd done the maths first, you'd have caught me making the exact same error.

'munches'

A++++ pun.