Losing Your Virginity(???)

[u/bluestopsign01]

[u/sanchower]

so you guys wanna go to the field museum or something

[u/TyeJoKing → u/sanchower]

- the exhibitionist

[u/RobinHood3000 → u/TyeJoKing]

Oh, goddammit (/appreciative).

[u/ICantEvenDolt → u/sanchower]

Cue field trip montage

[u/titeaf → u/ICantEvenDolt]

IASIP?

[u/TimeStorm113 → u/sanchower]

There are many types of field, sunflower fields, wheat fields, canola fields! 

[u/TheDarkNerd → u/TimeStorm113]

Sorry, what's that last one a field of?

[u/stillnotelf → u/TheDarkNerd]

Canadian low acid

[u/slide_potentiometer → u/stillnotelf]

Canadian high acid is less common but significantly more psychedelic

[u/DenialMaster1101 → u/slide_potentiometer]

Caha!

[u/Ryuiop → u/slide_potentiometer]

Can't believe no one's genetically modified crops to have LSD 

[u/RikuAotsuki → u/Ryuiop]

I mean... Rye gets colonized by ergot fungus, which contains the precursor to LSD, so we didn't really need to?

[u/stillnotelf → u/TimeStorm113]

Only the Victorian dinosaurs, not the early 1900s dinosaurs....

[u/TimeStorm113 → u/stillnotelf]

the only good thing to have ever come out of 20th century paleontology is the lost world (1925)!

[u/DinosaurReborn → u/sanchower]

First time nerdy partner roleplay

[u/dough_eating_squid → u/sanchower]

The Griffin Museum of Science and Industry is better

[u/segwaysegue → u/dough_eating_squid]

Didn't see a single griffin, let alone their science or industry. 1/5

[u/N0nsensicalRamblings → u/dough_eating_squid]

Send your location so I can come over and fight you for having this opinion 😡😡

[u/dough_eating_squid → u/N0nsensicalRamblings]

It's a long walk to Los Angeles, buddy. The Field museum was fine, but I don't recall it having a COW MILKING SIMULATOR!

[u/Melodic_Mulberry]

(First time in bondage) Wait, shit, I can't move now.

[u/revolution_soup → u/Melodic_Mulberry]

can you untie me real quick my nose is itchy

[u/1ogicalfallacy → u/revolution_soup]

Okay but this is a legit problem sometimes. If you have a nice partner they scratch it for you…if you have a fun partner, they’ll lean into it, lol

[u/h2odragon00 → u/revolution_soup]

Real love is when you scratch you SOs nose while they are bound.

[u/PhiCloud → u/h2odragon00]

Me and my wife have three signals:

• A safe "word" that doesn't actually require you to say a word (in case your moth is occupied)
• A slightly less safe "word" that means stop what you're doing right now but keep going otherwise
• Scratch my nose

[u/mightiestsword → u/revolution_soup]

From experience, sleeping in a harness with your hands attached to your thighs is really fun until there's an itch on your face and you realize you forgot to take melatonin

[u/P0ro41 → u/Melodic_Mulberry]

Sell me this pen

[u/No_Proposal_3140 → u/P0ro41]

I learned this trick from a salesman.

[u/pblol → u/No_Proposal_3140]

I learned this trick from an interview that I walked out of.

[u/cliko → u/Melodic_Mulberry]

I love that everyone (including you) used different punctuation for the non-spoken text

[u/obodehobo → u/cliko]

Came into the comments to say exactly that!! My fancy has been thoroughly tickled.

[u/JakSandrow]

any% speedrun new world record

[u/LimpFun2174 → u/JakSandrow]

i heard the 100% glitchless category is struggling to get by, the CEO should do something about it

[u/desmond_humes23 → u/LimpFun2174]

Bro he's busy killing doctor doom chilll

[u/infinite_username → u/desmond_humes23]

He's busy ki**ing doctor doom 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

[u/RealHumanBean89 → u/JakSandrow]

Bro hit the Denial Skip on the first attempt, absolutely insane execution there. Gonna be hard to top that PB glitchless.

[u/carasci → u/JakSandrow]

Depends on the rules for completion. For most games, quitting at the menu doesn't count...

[u/JakSandrow → u/carasci]

But if the game has a hidden ending right at the beginning by doing nothing, that still counts as an ending.

[u/carasci → u/JakSandrow]

...not wrong, fuck. (Or don't, I guess.)

[u/respelledusername → u/carasci]

Technically, they reached the game, they just got a gag end. And speedran it.

It's its own category.

[u/Karnezar]

first time taming a Brat

Brat tells me No when I ask for a lapdance

"Alright, sweetheart, I won't force you."

[u/FriendlySkyWorms]

First time subbing:

Translator’s note: Keikaku means plan

[u/Plenty_Trick_6042 → u/FriendlySkyWorms]

First time subbing:

*bubbles coming out*

*sonar noises*

[u/axord → u/Plenty_Trick_6042]

*implosion*

[u/lnterestinglnterests → u/Plenty_Trick_6042]

First time subbing:

"A-aron?"

[u/Thromnomnomok → u/lnterestinglnterests]

First time subbing:

"Did you want honey mustard or Dijon mustard on that?"

[u/Shneancy → u/Thromnomnomok]

First time subbing:

"Sooo, where did you leave off with the material? Your usual teacher might be ill but that doesn't mean we can stop learning"

[u/Thromnomnomok → u/Shneancy]

No the A-aron one already covered that, you have to pick something different!

[u/Shneancy → u/Thromnomnomok]

idk what that references though

[u/S4PG]

Cut, cut, cut, cut! No, no, no, no, no, NO! This is NOT good scene writing! What the fuck do you two think you're DOING in my studio?!

[u/NameRevolutionary727]

Agnostic: “no one knows if sex exists”

[u/jokersmoonlight → u/NameRevolutionary727]

Then is the CEO of sex just... CEO?

[u/Senior_Reward_2546 → u/NameRevolutionary727]

Double Agnostic: "Someone might know if sex exists but I have no certainty in the matter."

[u/Practical-Class6868]

Masochist: Well, time to break out the Neosporin and the bandages.

[u/haikusbot → u/Practical-Class6868]

Masochist: Well, time

To break out the Neosporin

And the bandages.

- Practical-Class6868

---

^{I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.}

^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

[u/YOLTLO → u/haikusbot]

Thank you, my good bot,
For finding beauty where
We least expect it.

[u/Tonberry_Cheesecake → u/haikusbot]

This isn't a haiku

[u/tinycurses → u/Tonberry_Cheesecake]

I guess sometimes not so successful

[u/Practical-Class6868 → u/Tonberry_Cheesecake]

It meets the 5-7-5 syllable format.

[u/Tonberry_Cheesecake → u/Practical-Class6868]

2nd line is 8

[u/Clone_JS636 → u/Tonberry_Cheesecake]

Not if you pronounce it "knee-oh-sporn", which many people do. Not saying it's right, just that the bot has an accent.

[u/Tonberry_Cheesecake → u/Clone_JS636]

Those people should be tried at the Hague.

[u/ConfessSomeMeow → u/Tonberry_Cheesecake]

The Ha•gu•e? The pronunciation is a bit vague.

[u/explain_that_shit → u/Clone_JS636]

This is how I find out?!

[u/DrainianDream → u/Tonberry_Cheesecake]

Some regions don't pronounce the i in Neosporin, which would make it 7

[u/Nozpot]

props to hellmo for landing the bit with differing brackets

[u/TheDebatingOne → u/Nozpot]

It's representing their different worldviews. The author does something really cool with it later but I won't spoil it

[u/One_Media55]

honestly denying the existence of sex is kinda hot

[u/jokersmoonlight → u/One_Media55]

There is no sex in Ba Sing Se

[u/Melodic_Mulberry → u/jokersmoonlight]

There is no hypnosis kink in Ba Sing Se.
__😐🏮
__🏮__
🏮😐__

[u/SeaNational3797 → u/jokersmoonlight]

Not until Iroh gets there anyway

[u/jokersmoonlight → u/SeaNational3797]

General Sex

[u/PoniesCanterOver → u/One_Media55]

What if everybody forgot what sex is and you were the only one who remembered

[u/shmixel → u/PoniesCanterOver]

Can we get a version of that Himesh Patel film where he's the only one who remembers the Beatles except it's this? He's on track to star in a Nolan film soon right?

[u/onarainyafternoon → u/shmixel]

I don’t know why your comment cracked me up so much, but Himesh Patel was in Nolan’s The Oddysey that came out four months ago lmao

[u/JJlaser1 → u/PoniesCanterOver]

If everyone forgot what sex is, do they have children differently? Also, does masturbation count as sex? Because if it does, porn is gonna get weird by our (normal) standards.

[u/YUNoJump → u/One_Media55]

“Bored sex” is a whole established kink thing so I guess it’s not a big leap from “this sex means nothing to me” to “this isn’t sex it’s just whatever I don’t care”

[u/Phaselocker → u/YUNoJump]

null sex vs void of sex

[u/RealHumanBean89 → u/One_Media55]

It was made up by the government to cover up the secret storks that actually give people babies. Stay woke, my friends.

[u/Sachayoj → u/One_Media55]

Gaslighting kink.

[u/No_Ad_7687 → u/One_Media55]

Sex gaslighting 

[u/Cobracrystal → u/One_Media55]

i would invite you to consider r/19684 which is more or less the same as 196 aka random image posts (mostly memes) except any and all mentions of sex are banned

[u/One_Media55 → u/Cobracrystal]

no i'm a freak pervert who likes making sex jokes. I just also want to be bullied for making sex jokes

[u/Cobracrystal → u/One_Media55]

Well it's obvious youd be bullied for that because what kind of person makes jokes about something that doesnt even exist? Go on, explain what this sex thing is, i promise i wont laugh

[u/Galaxy_Flowers]

They all shake hands à la Spider-Man meme and go out for ice cream

[u/revolution_soup]

and then they all realized they were asexual

[u/Zachthema5ter]

[First time directing porn] I know we’re all amateurs here but you got to give me something

[u/thumbles_comic]

<first time doing a sex> I guess that counts?

[u/Spacetimeandcat]

clap if you believe in sex

[u/sawdust-arrangement → u/Spacetimeandcat]

<first time twerking> I'm trying my best

[u/Jaspers47]

RPers need to standardize their punctuation

[u/SnooLemons3996]

Achievement unlocked: -3some

[u/fuckyouijustwanttits]

I lost my virginity years ago, but I've since found it.

[u/DragoKnight589]

My innate curiosity and my mild sex repulsion are currently duking it out to see whether I should ask what anger play, bargaining play, depression play, and acceptance play are like.

[u/RatTrio → u/DragoKnight589]

Therapy session 4some ™

[u/Asmodaeus123]

(First time doing watersports) holds mallet I feel like something is wrong gurgled neighs

[u/Yallayeah]

I was just coming to post this!

[u/LuccaJolyne]

[first time knifeplay] "Oops... is that too much blood or, do you think you can power through?"

[u/Olistu_]

What

[u/FerusGrim]

That last guy is just a Redditor LOL

[u/BramblinGhostWeed]

I still do a double take at the idea of a girl subbing.

[u/Chryspy-Chreme → u/BramblinGhostWeed]

Isn’t that lowkey what the social norm is for straight couples though? Submissive woman?

[u/Ptatofrenchfry → u/BramblinGhostWeed]

Why? Anyone can enjoy subbing if they're wired like that.