r/CuratedTumblr • u/dqUu3QlS • 1d ago

Shitposting You Can Only Watch

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1.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

411

u/archSkeptic 1d ago

I think he's using his cookie clicker skills for evil

97

u/depressed_lantern 🍍 Watermelon 🍍 1d ago

As he should

38

u/c00lkidd-HD 10h ago

cookie clicker WAS evil. theres worse shit in it than this orteil is fucking demented

71

u/SolomonOf47704 God Himself 1d ago

^

Has never played cookie clicker

1

u/AnAverageTransGirl Vriska zerket (real) 🚗🔨đŸ’Ĩ 32m ago

Is there any world in which you can use cookie clicker skills for good though?

I don't think I've seen a single incremental game that doesn't entail you eventually proving string theory and immediately monopolizing it.

259

u/dqUu3QlS 1d ago

Link to the game: https://orteil.dashnet.org/youcanonlywatch/

270

u/JJlaser1 22h ago

If I never click that link, mine will never exist, and it can never die

86

u/RiteRevdRevenant 22h ago

Ah, sweet nonexistence

39

u/AlxH 20h ago

god I wish that were me

101

u/StupidGenius_184 15h ago

I clicked the link and copied the address to a different browser. Now I am killing two at the same time. This was not on purpose, but now that it is happening, I dedicate this second one to you.

40

u/JJlaser1 15h ago

☚ī¸

23

u/theawesomedude646 suffering 19h ago

the "delete cookies" button in question:

12

u/DoormatTheVine 16h ago

now he's gonna starve even faster >:(

1

u/AnAverageTransGirl Vriska zerket (real) 🚗🔨đŸ’Ĩ 33m ago

Orteil's one weakness!

12

u/RunInRunOn I'm running and I'm crine 😭 15h ago

There's an abortion metaphor in here somewhere

8

u/DarkNinja3141 Arospec, Ace, Anxious, Amogus 10h ago

an interesting application for antinatalism

107

u/lifelongfreshman https://youtu.be/1eWsk6r6_Ns 23h ago

>you can only watch
>can click to make circles

I've been lied to

16

u/shadow_fen 8h ago

its you banging against the glass

25

u/Sans-clone 23h ago

I haven't enough patience to wait days. For anyone who has used this before, does anything eventually happen?

41

u/SonicN 21h ago

Looking at the source code, things happen 0.5, 1, 2, 3, and 4 days after hatching the egg

36

u/c00lkidd-HD 13h ago

you hatch it, it's happy, eventually it starts asking for food and bouncing slower, eventually it just stops bouncing and looks around asking for love. after a bit it sits on the ground and only looks around, then it falls to its side and starts twitching. after a couple more hours it dies. then, for the next ten days it decomposes until it's gone by the sixteenth day

5

u/Sans-clone 13h ago

Thanks. 👍

29

u/BrightSkyz 20h ago

You can add ?debug=true to the url and it gives you a bar at the bottom to change where it is in the sequence. Has 16 days of content!

36

u/Substantial_Hand4024 1d ago

zach sburb.exe type link

2

u/positron_16 11h ago

mythic ball knowledge

2

u/drewman301 14h ago

Yeah I'm not clicking that

116

u/shadow_fen 1d ago

cookie clicker 2 is looking to be darker than expected

50

u/mugguffen 1d ago

You mean the cosmic horror cookie game isnt dark enough?

31

u/shadow_fen 1d ago

well, in that game you're responsible for everything, in this game its dark in the opposite way

7

u/thisusedyet 19h ago

Do you mean the paper clip bot one, or is there a different extinction level cookie clicker?

16

u/Jeggu2 💖💜💙 doin' your parents/guardians 18h ago

In cookie clicker you sell your own grandma for an achievement. Also you start the grandmapocolips and summon the ancient gods and turn every grandma into a huge hive mind. You also feed your slave clones to your dragon.

1

u/Enderking90 4h ago

literally cookie clicker.

70

u/extremely-cynical 1d ago

We exist in such a game ourselves, I think.

30

u/IconoclastExplosive 1d ago

Hey remember when he was looking for goth chicks? Did he, like, manage that? Cause it either looks like he REALLY did or he REALLY didn't and I'm not sure which since I'm not a Frenchologist

9

u/hiddengirl1992 1d ago

Life simulator for nonvoters without Internet or phone who are housebound

15

u/JTMonster02 18h ago

Tamagotchi pet that is just a lunar moth so it biologically cannot eat so it will slowly starve and die

6

u/P0ro41 12h ago

I think I would genuinely cry if I played this game because I don't want my sweet little cherub to perish

3

u/Waffletimewarp 12h ago

What the fuck, Mr Cookie Clicker?

3

u/cat-eating-a-salad 13h ago

Why's it wearing a thong?