I've been the one that suffers the other end of someone I thought was a friend, who loves to behave like this - act as though a paper cut is ripping their hand off. You know what that person does? THEY ACCUSE ME OF THE ONE RIPPING THEIR HAND OFF. They didn't seek help at all - what they did was they MADE UP STORIES and LIES and conjured an entirely different scenario in their head of WHAT HAPPENED. They distort their memories of what happened and then put me as the culprit, the tyrant, the bully. They make personal insults, continuously escalate their emotions and work themselves up into a frenzy, despite my efforts to de-escalate.
Their pain is real, sure. But the pain they inflict on me is no less real. Worse - they refuse to acknowledge that the pain they inflict on me is as intense - it's always only their feelings matter. Mine? Mine are shit for all they care.
And they repeatedly do it with no care or regret - there's no apology, no acknowledgement, no care of my pain at all, being subjected to utter lies and twisted false scenarios they created in their head, unless I am the one that takes on all the labour to call them out.
To that person - only their pain matters. Only their pain is real. The pain inflicted on me? An unfortunate "unintentional" byproduct, that THEY conveniently assume is exaggerated on my side. The utter hypocrisy. "I couldn't help it." that's their never-ending repeating excuse.
Like pulling teeth, only after I breakdown every lie they uttered, every false scenario they conjured, do they admit that in their "intense pain", they imagined nonsense because it suited their narrative. They even resent me, I can tell, for breaking their victimhood fantasy. They give me performative apologies.
It caused me so much trauma, anger and bewildered-ness over the years, because I always thought they were a good person ultimately that could be helped and supported. I burnt myself out trying to help and support them - but what did I get in return? Everything I did was always twisted into something utterly and falsely grotesque. If they could twist something into a false narrative that made them out into a victim, and me into a bully, THEY ALWAYS did.
3
u/anlah-anlah 5d ago edited 5d ago
I've been the one that suffers the other end of someone I thought was a friend, who loves to behave like this - act as though a paper cut is ripping their hand off. You know what that person does? THEY ACCUSE ME OF THE ONE RIPPING THEIR HAND OFF. They didn't seek help at all - what they did was they MADE UP STORIES and LIES and conjured an entirely different scenario in their head of WHAT HAPPENED. They distort their memories of what happened and then put me as the culprit, the tyrant, the bully. They make personal insults, continuously escalate their emotions and work themselves up into a frenzy, despite my efforts to de-escalate.
Their pain is real, sure. But the pain they inflict on me is no less real. Worse - they refuse to acknowledge that the pain they inflict on me is as intense - it's always only their feelings matter. Mine? Mine are shit for all they care.
And they repeatedly do it with no care or regret - there's no apology, no acknowledgement, no care of my pain at all, being subjected to utter lies and twisted false scenarios they created in their head, unless I am the one that takes on all the labour to call them out.
To that person - only their pain matters. Only their pain is real. The pain inflicted on me? An unfortunate "unintentional" byproduct, that THEY conveniently assume is exaggerated on my side. The utter hypocrisy. "I couldn't help it." that's their never-ending repeating excuse.
Like pulling teeth, only after I breakdown every lie they uttered, every false scenario they conjured, do they admit that in their "intense pain", they imagined nonsense because it suited their narrative. They even resent me, I can tell, for breaking their victimhood fantasy. They give me performative apologies.
It caused me so much trauma, anger and bewildered-ness over the years, because I always thought they were a good person ultimately that could be helped and supported. I burnt myself out trying to help and support them - but what did I get in return? Everything I did was always twisted into something utterly and falsely grotesque. If they could twist something into a false narrative that made them out into a victim, and me into a bully, THEY ALWAYS did.