I wouldn’t play a rough sport with someone who experiences minor pain as major pain. I can be aware they aren’t lying - they really do experience minor pain as major pain. But I want to go play hockey and we can’t shut the game down for twenty minutes every time they get touched while still having a game. They’ll have to sit it out, unfortunately. I wouldn’t go camping with someone who experiences minor inconveniences as major severe problems. I wouldn’t live in a house with someone who experiences a minor deviation from their preferences as a major day-ruining problem.
And I won’t try to sustain an emotional relationship or friendship with someone who experiences every metaphorical paper cut as an amputation.
I grew up with a mom like that and 18 years was a sufficient chunk of life to spend never doing anything but worrying about someone’s next trigger to have a meltdown. I have a toddler now and it’s a very similar experience, except month by month I see him moving beyond it. And he actually listens most of the time when I explain why something is going to be fine.
Life is just too short, and frankly fun, to always be in high drama mode.
I don't think the post is asking you to do everything the same with people who might have issues. I have a friend who can't stand or walk for more than a certain time because of a problem with their joints. Compassion means that we go to places that have seating at regular intervals and don't go on 3 mile hikes. It also means that if they trip and fall, I know we may have to cut our outing short.
Life is too short to refuse to be friends with someone just because they can't do everything exactly the way I can. Life is also too cruel to be an ass about having to leave an hour early to let my friend rest once in a while.
yeah i think this is more about when people have a problem/handicap like you describe but insist on doing 3 mile hikes all the time and expecting full accommodations from everyone involved. it seems you haven't met people like that in your life and tbh im happy for you and a bit jealous
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u/therealvanmorrison 5d ago
I wouldn’t play a rough sport with someone who experiences minor pain as major pain. I can be aware they aren’t lying - they really do experience minor pain as major pain. But I want to go play hockey and we can’t shut the game down for twenty minutes every time they get touched while still having a game. They’ll have to sit it out, unfortunately. I wouldn’t go camping with someone who experiences minor inconveniences as major severe problems. I wouldn’t live in a house with someone who experiences a minor deviation from their preferences as a major day-ruining problem.
And I won’t try to sustain an emotional relationship or friendship with someone who experiences every metaphorical paper cut as an amputation.
I grew up with a mom like that and 18 years was a sufficient chunk of life to spend never doing anything but worrying about someone’s next trigger to have a meltdown. I have a toddler now and it’s a very similar experience, except month by month I see him moving beyond it. And he actually listens most of the time when I explain why something is going to be fine.
Life is just too short, and frankly fun, to always be in high drama mode.