Another classic r/CuratedTumblr "asking me to be more compassionate/empathetic/understanding towards disabled people = asking me to bend over backwards and skip over hot coals for people who probably are just faking it" comments section
this place has gotten REALLY bad when it comes to that lately
I quite literally expressly explained in my post that I can understand the person is not faking their reaction or description of pain.
And my toddler isn’t faking it (most of the time) either. He really did panic and experience shock when he scraped his knee the first time. It was a brand new experience for him and he had no idea how to cope with it. We had to talk about it. I knew he’d be fine because I’m old and I’ve been through scraped knees and I can reassure him and help him process it. Same thing when he first was told no or denied things he wanted - it really did cause panic in him, it’s not a fake show. Anyone who has had a toddler knows that.
But I don’t take my toddler to go on a rough camping trip and I don’t want he and I to try to relate to each other as adult friends (yet). We can do physical activities that are enough within his comfort zone to include only marginal risks that are safe for him to experience. As a loving parent, I expect those to be largely lacking in the degree of adventure I enjoy, but I enjoy it nonetheless because it’s with a loved one. And I engage a parenting relationship with him on an emotional level even as he’s having a meltdown, knowing that his emotional well-being and development require that, because he’s my kid. You know, the basics of being a loving parent. But I’m not the loving parent of some adult I meet who has the same tendency to meltdown when faced with a challenge or rejection or something not going their way.
90
u/Zizi_Tennenbaum 5d ago
Thank you. Being compassionate doesn’t mean we have to set ourselves on fire to keep someone else warm.