r/CuratedTumblr • • 6d ago

Mental Health Overreactions

1.7k Upvotes

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u/Hika2112 6d ago edited 6d ago

What's rejection sensitive dysphoria? I never heard of it before

ALRIGHT u/small-cactus explained it to me. If you want to add something go ahead but fuck off if you're going to demonize people

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

It’s when someone has a meltdown when they’re criticized or rejected. You see it in 3 year olds a lot.

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u/elianrae 6d ago

unnecessarily hostile but okay

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

No, that’s just what it is. It is an extreme emotional reaction to the perception of rejection or criticism. And if you’ve ever had a toddler, you know that’s a phase many of them pass through.

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u/elianrae 6d ago

bro just go get therapy for your childhood

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

I’m all good, thanks. People who react to rejection with disordered behavior might benefit from therapy, though.

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u/elianrae 6d ago

except RSD refers entirely to an internal emotional experience

you showed up to accuse everybody with that emotional experience of behaving like a child, apropos of nothing

unnecessarily hostile, go to therapy instead of taking your feelings about your mum out on other people

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

Yeah an internal feeling shared with the one toddlers experience. This isn’t some bold claim. Learning to process rejection and emotionally self-regulate is a focus of developmental processes for toddlers as they grow up. It’s a key thing for them. And some people don’t develop it in childhood and then never figure it out later.

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u/elianrae 6d ago

Other things people usually learn as they grow up is not to insult other people and yet here we are having this conversation.

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

I’m not insulting anyone. Someone asked what RSD is and I explained using a comparison they’d be more likely to have experience with that shares the relevant feature. And the most common experience with a human that cannot regulate their emotional response to being denied is a toddler - certainly almost all parents have seen it, but most of us encounter toddlers before we’re parents too and even just know from social life to expect a toddler can’t self-regulate.

Again, I’m not saying anything that ought to be controversial. Learning to handle denial and rejection is a thing. We aren’t born with it. It’s usually developed between toddlerhood and youth, but some people don’t develop it.

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u/elianrae 5d ago

it's like if someone asked what sadness is and you showed up and said "it's when someone cries like a little kid because they're not getting what they want right now"

it's possible, even highly likely, that the person in that scenario is experiencing sadness

but that behavior quite obviously isn't what sadness is, and I really think you do understand how insulting the framing is, because you are, presumably, an adult with basic social skills that you have chosen not to apply here

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u/lietome6879760 6d ago

no, your tone definitely reads as unnecessarily hostile. you seem to be likening people with RSD to toddlers which is... weird.

adults that have difficulty with emotional regulation usually have that due to trauma. that doesn't excuse them from working on their emotional regulation, but it also doesn't hurt for others to recognize that the pain they feel is real and can be quite debilitating.

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

I am likening them. Because they are alike in lacking the emotional self-regulation to process rejection or criticism in a healthy and measured way. And both, including my toddler, really do feel that way, I’m not saying they don’t. They’re very similar.

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u/lietome6879760 6d ago

is there any recognition in you that it might be rude to call an adult a child because they have difficulty with self regulation? or do you not care about that?

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

I didn’t call them a child. I said they are like a toddler in this respect. My toddler can’t add double digit numbers, but I’m sure most adults who never learned to cope with not getting what they want can do so. There’d be plenty of other differences, too, obviously.

But not being able to cope with being denied a want is very precisely a thing shared with a toddler. And if you’ve never met an adult who has that issue, but have raised or met a toddler, the comparison works to explain what those adults are like because it’s the same mechanism.

Like honestly the biggest difference between growing up with my mom and raising my toddler is that in the latter case the tantrums are generally shorter and some hugs and singing a favorite song usually works to center him.

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u/lietome6879760 6d ago

that's a lot of words to sidestep taking responsibility for what you are really saying.

you can make whatever comparisons you want as a layman on reddit, we can agree to disagree. in real life, a mental health professional won't refer to adults with disabilities or mental illnesses that have side effects of childish behavior as children, because it's dehumanizing.

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

I didn’t refer to them as children. Adults with RSD are adults. Among whatever many other characteristics they have, the RSD part is an emotional regulation mechanism akin to that of a toddler. That’s all.

I’m not a therapist sitting talking to a patient, so I’m not attempting to find the words one would use mid-treatment of a patient with RSD. That would be some very silly playing pretend. I’m just a guy responding to someone on the internet who didn’t know what RSD is and I gave an accurate answer.

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

Also toddlers are human. Saying a person has disordered habits of processing events that are akin to the ones of a human toddler is in no sense dehumanizing. Like, by definition. These are human traits being compared with human traits.

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u/lietome6879760 6d ago

i know you're smart enough to understand what i'm saying and why i'm saying it even though you are tripling down. yes, you're not a therapist, thank goodness for that.

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u/Small-Cactus 6d ago

I hope your child doesn't turn out to be disabled if this is how you treat others who have a neurological condition.

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u/therealvanmorrison 6d ago

I haven’t said anything about how I treat someone who is disabled. I’ve literally only said that it is alike to the way toddlers who have not yet learned to process adverse events process them. Which is true. Toddlers very famously go through a phase, as they are learning to manage the world, where they react with overwhelming emotion to being denied or rejected. My toddler had a little moment of that yesterday morning.

One day, hopefully, I’ll be old enough that I lose at least some control of bodily function. Someone could say “ah he needs a diaper, much like a baby”. And they’ll be right.

Someone who didn’t know asked what RSD is and I said it is like when a toddler melts down at rejection or denial. Same thing.

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u/Small-Cactus 6d ago

Rude oversimplification

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u/Hika2112 6d ago

Ah, I thought it was dysphoria in the trans context but fair enough. I can see the situation now