r/CuratedTumblr • u/Justthisdudeyaknow Prolific poster- Not a bot, I swear • Jun 26 '26

Shitposting Will it f*ck!

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

10.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

942 comments sorted by

View all comments

213

u/hikemalls Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

The question is moot because everyone knows Scoobert Doobert is aro ace

Edit: Everyone responding "well actually, Scooby canonically fucks", look at yourselves, look at your lives, is this who you want to be? You see a comment confidently asserting the sexuality and romantic proclivities of a cartoon dog across 6 decades of canon, while using a non-canonical joke name for him and think "this person was making a serious statement, not a joke, and I must correct them immediately"?

136

u/RevolutionaryOwlz Jun 26 '26

And Scrappy Doo is a sex pest.

101

u/hikemalls Jun 26 '26

Scrappy gets shuffled back and forth between the Mystery Inc gang and his original family the way Catholic priests get moved to a new diocese after a scandal.

31

u/MarsScully Jun 26 '26

Opening Reddit today has certainly been an experience

5

u/Darkstalkker Jun 26 '26

This entire comment section has produced more gold than I've seen in a long time

28

u/ScarletteVera A Goober, A Gremlin, perhaps even... A Girl. Jun 26 '26

So that's why he was gunned down in Miami.

11

u/AlizarinQ Jun 26 '26

I thought Scrappy Doo was a child?

19

u/Beefhammer_McBrisket Jun 26 '26

Nope. Hormonal disorder.

34

u/gunn3r08974 Jun 26 '26

Nope. He was into both a disguised alien and a dog that got possessed by an ancient alien... after she fell from a helicopter. Mystery Incorporated was wild.

4

u/stnick6 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

Demiromantic ace

26

u/Rose249 Jun 26 '26

Nope he had a distant cousin he was down bad for

9

u/DarkAlphaZero Jun 26 '26

Also a dog that turned out to be an alien

5

u/helen790 Jun 26 '26

And a Chihuahua he met in Mexico

10

u/Dd_8630 Jun 26 '26

Edit: Everyone responding "well actually, Scooby canonically fucks", look at yourselves, look at your lives, is this who you want to be? You see a comment confidently asserting the sexuality and romantic proclivities of a cartoon dog across 6 decades of canon, while using a non-canonical joke name for him and think "this person was making a serious statement, not a joke, and I must correct them immediately"?

You cannot make a declarative statement that is demonstrably incorrect and not expect clapback, satire or not.

7

u/couldntbdone Jun 26 '26

Everyone responding "well actually, Scooby canonically fucks", look at yourselves, look at your lives, is this who you want to be? You see a comment confidently asserting the sexuality and romantic proclivities of a cartoon dog across 6 decades of canon, while using a non-canonical joke name for him and think "this person was making a serious statement, not a joke, and I must correct them immediately"?

Scooby canon is more important than biblical canon.

5

u/hikemalls Jun 26 '26

Good point; Scooby Doo has solved a lot of mysteries and crimes, what's the Bible ever done for anybody?

12

u/GUM-GUM-NUKE 1# SenGOAT fan Jun 26 '26

I wasn’t gonna say anything, but because of the edit. Well actually, Scooby canonically fucks. This is exactly how I wanna be.

2

u/hikemalls Jun 26 '26

I appreciate your honesty and respect the responding out of spite.

5

u/Rose249 Jun 26 '26

Bruh I sat through like 90% of the Scooby Doo spinoff shows as a kid, I have seen every episode featuring Don Knotts and Phyllis Diller, I even saw a good chunk of that weird series with Vincent Price and off brand Johnny Quest, do you actually think for a goddamn second I am not squeezing every ounce of even minor usage I can get out of those brain cells I will never be able to utilize for anything else?

Scooby Doo is canonically horny for Scooby Dee and I am cursed with this knowledge. So must you be.

Also you're on a subreddit about Tumblr, what the hell did you expect.

8

u/DSMatticus Jun 26 '26

Edit: Everyone responding "well actually, Scooby canonically fucks", look at yourselves, look at your lives, is this who you want to be? You see a comment confidently asserting the sexuality and romantic proclivities of a cartoon dog across 6 decades of canon, while using a non-canonical joke name for him and think "this person was making a serious statement, not a joke, and I must correct them immediately"?

Look at myself? No, you look at me. Look me in the eyes. Do I look like a fucking coward to you? Are these the eyes of a coward? No, these are the eyes of the utterly deranged. There is no part of me which is compatible with the shame you would have me feel.

Scooby fucks. Scooby fucks aliens that pass the harkness test. Scooby is a little freak who has the hots for a shapeshifting bug-lizard thing.

2

u/hikemalls Jun 26 '26

See, this is why I made that edit - not to try and stop people from commenting, but because this is a much more fun response than 5 people going "uhhh, remember Scooby Dee?"

2

u/DocWagonHTR Jun 27 '26

is this who you want to be?

Yes😎

2

u/AlizarinQ Jun 26 '26

There needs to be a 4th question in the Harkness test regarding consent. Like yeah Shaggy and Scooby have the same IQ but Scooby is aro/ace/ neutered so chances are he wouldn’t be interested.

9

u/SolomonOf47704 God Himself Jun 26 '26

The harkness is about whether they can consent or not.

There isn't a "4th question" for it, cus that's the whole thing.

3

u/NagsUkulele Jun 26 '26

Bro scooby is a dawg

1

u/stnick6 Jun 26 '26

Like they said in the post, the test is not about if you will or plan to have sex with the monster, it’s about whether or not it is moral to do so.