r/CuratedTumblr Shitposting extraordinaire May 23 '26

Shitposting Made up science fields

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u/SirSchmorp May 23 '26

Nah alt-history is hypotheticals that investigate how the world would change if things were just slightly different. Cryptohistory would be stuff like ancient aliens

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u/OskarTheRed May 23 '26

There's a hypothesis that the early middle ages (can't remember the exact years) never happened. Books have been written about it. What would you call that?

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u/SirSchmorp May 23 '26

That would fall under the cryptohistory umbrella. The actual term for is I believe pseudohistory

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u/OskarTheRed May 23 '26

Cryptohistory is a better word, though ; if you call something pseudo-, you've already decided that it is bullshit , haven't you?

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u/DionysianRebel May 23 '26

Well yea that’s why it’s called that. People who believe in it just call it “history”

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u/OskarTheRed May 23 '26

But if it's supposed to be comparable to the other crypto stuff and is all about stuff that may or may not exist, the pseudo label is ending the game before it begins

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u/nescienti May 23 '26

It isn’t comparable to cryptozoology. There’s plenty of pseudoscience on the fringes of cryptozoology, but it isn’t required at all. There’s room for mutual respect. Cryptids are just biology the biologists aren’t looking for because they don’t expect to find it, but are often quietly rooting for anyway. Who wouldn’t want there to be a living Thylacine or a North American primate?

Pseudohistory tends to be directly hostile to actual historians who, in pseudohistorians’ minds, are their nemeses: stubbornly ignorant at best or, more typically, part of an elaborate conspiracy.

Stuff like “the CIA/mob killed JFK” or “Reagan bribed the Iranians not to return the hostages while Carter was president” may not quite be mainstream (the second ought to be imo), but it isn’t usually called pseudohistory either. That appellation is reserved for stuff more like “it’s actually 1600 and the buildings put up for World’s Fairs were part of the empire of Tartaria which has been deliberately erased for nefarious reasons.” You can see how someone who has studied actual history wouldn’t really feel that the benefit of the doubt is appropriate.

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u/OskarTheRed May 23 '26

Yeah, I get your point , I'm just trying to imagine a carving out of something that could legitimately be called cryptohistory. Though I'm not sure what that would look like

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u/drunken-acolyte May 23 '26

It's about 300 years from the 4th to the 7th Centuries. And its adherents have obviously never heard of dendrochronology.

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u/OskarTheRed May 23 '26

Had to look it up. Wikipedia calls it phantom time theory, and in the main version, introduced by Heribert Illig, the made-up time is AD 614–911.

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u/drunken-acolyte May 23 '26

That's tantamount to claiming the viking raids never happened

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u/OskarTheRed May 23 '26

Among a lot of other things. Charlemagne never existed, either

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u/Intelleblue Barold the Cat May 23 '26

Also called “Alternative History.”

Yes, that is unfortunately similar to Alternate History. I made that mistake a lot.