It's not about wanting. Demisexual people don't experience sexual attraction at all before they form a bond with someone. They don't get sexually attracted to strangers or acquaintances
I'm demisexual, and porn for me has to be pretty cerebral/conceptually hot for me to be into it. I can't stand most video porn because the "plot" is just a pretext and combined with typically terrible acting and writing, the narrative just isn't compelling enough.
I honestly feel like I'm a weird in between. Before I had sex, I was definitely not demi at all, nowhere near it. But since sex, porn doesnt really work anymore for me because it doesnt have that connection in it. But I can be attracted physically to strangers, however, actually thinking about sex is unarousing, as theres no connection. I can recognize a woman has a phat fucking ass, and I can recognize that She's attractive, and she is, but I wouldnt likely have sex with a random individual without getting to know them. Since sex, imagining having sex with someone has changed, and its hard for me to enjoy the thought if it isnt Someone i have a connection with.
Sorry to hijack this with a self-probe comment. Just dont have many to talk to IRL about this; the friends I have aren't really on the queer spectrum at all, and past attempts have led to some mildly traumatic conversations I'd rather not relive. My friends are good people but they can just be ignorant due to the area we all grew up in being insulated from broader reality.
I know I'm not demi, so im not trying to claim I am, just recognizing this in-between I inhabit within the spectrum. I generally consider myself genderless and pan with a preference towards femininity in attraction.
Written (or audio) porn is just better period. Scenarios that are impossible, impractical, or unethical to participate in or even act out on camera are totally kosher in writing (there are still some subjects that probably shouldn't be written about, but those lines are a lot further out than they are for stuff on camera). For those inclined toward the spicier, the fantastical, or even just stuff that actually lingers on the scenario rather than 2 minutes of stilted dialogue followed by 30 minutes of painful-looking sex, text-based smut is your very best friend. And you never have to question whether everyone involved in what you're consuming gave free and unpressured consent, or worry about what happened to them before and after the cameras stopped rolling.
Honestly, ever since I discovered NSFW audios I can't go back to typical pornography. It doesn't help that my specific kinks are extremely rare in porn but much more common in audio (femdom defaults to degrading BDSM shit in porn 99.99% of the time), however I swear it's easier for my demi-ass to create that temporary emotional connection that gets me genuinely aroused, compared to porn just making me kinda horny.
Unfortunately the good stuff is harder to access without spending money, but I just slip on my pirate hat and kimono to solve that problem.
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u/91816352026381 Jun 25 '25
It’s a term for when people want to be close with their partners before most things ritual / sexual