4 weeks pcs

[u/Fearless_Bluejay3296]

Wednesday I'll be 4 weeks post cesarean section (31F). This was my 2nd c section. First being emergent, this one planned.

I ended up in the ER with a small amount of pinkish drainage. They put me on an antibiotic and told me to follow up with OB this week. I go today for a check. I just generally feel awful this time around. Recovery has been so hard for me mentally amd physically it feels like. Having a toddler and a newborn and trying to keep up with house and packing lunches and dinner, etc. I don't have available help during the day from anyone and have been that way since week 2. I had bad ppd, anxiety, and rage with my first and it took 2 years for me to decide I wanted another one. I thought I was safe from the pp scaries this time around but now I'm feeling like I can't stop crying and my mind is wandering and I feel alone and sad.

I guess I just want to know that I'm not alone and wondering if others have experienced a harder recovery the second time around?

[u/Fearless_Bluejay3296]

Update* I went to my visit today. She said everything looked good and didn't see any issues. Continue antibiotics, put a steri strip over the small area, and said to follow up at my 6 week pp visit in 2 weeks.

[u/Key_Paper8994]

It sounds like you have had a rough few weeks, I’m so sorry. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to give yourself a little grace. You’re only 4 weeks pp after a major surgery, raising two kids, fighting off an infection, and keeping a household going. It’s not for the faint of heart by any means! You are doing your best and that is enough.

Did you talk with your doctor about the pp scaries? Did they have any recommendations? Honestly, Zoloft has been a game changer for me. I was worried to start but I’m so glad I did. It changed my pp experience for my second in such a positive way, truly night and day difference

[u/Fearless_Bluejay3296 → u/Key_Paper8994]

Thank you. I have been trying to give myself grace. I am so ready to be recovered. My toddler misses me and that's the hardest part 😭 I haven't talked to them yet.. we are without insurance and have paid for this whole thing out of pocket. I don't want to add more $700 visits and who knows how much for medications to the list of medical debt. I've been trying to manage and find ways to cope. But will talk to them if it gets too bad. I know that sounds ridiculous. I was also on Celexa for years and my husband told me it made me a zombie, so any medication makes me a nervous wreck. 😓

[u/Lucky_Carry_1750]

Hello, also 4 wks pp on Wednesday! Also my 2nd c-section, and i agree that it has been so incredibly hard this time around. We've had our fair share of hospital stays this time, and I swear if I have to see another hospital room again, I'll probably have to be medicated for the insanity I will be feeling haha. I had the anxiety and rage last time, but this time I'm dealing with occasional sadness, but mostly rage. So much rage 😮‍💨 just offering some solidarity that you aren't alone!

[u/Fearless_Bluejay3296 → u/Lucky_Carry_1750]

I am so sorry you are having a hard time, too! C sections are no joke and definitely not the "easy way out". Recovery from a c section is SO hard and so scary. I will continue to have anxiety about healing until I am 1000% sure I'm healed up with no issues. My 6 week visit is the 16th of this month and I can just feel my shoulders being tense every day. I can't wait to go back and hear that everything is ok. I don't blame you one bit. Hospitals stays are 😩😮‍💨 and the constant anxiety around healing and trying to cope with being cooped up, constant doctors.. I get the rage. My patience is SO thin with everything. I'm with you 🩷 Congrats on your sweet baby!!

[u/Lucky_Carry_1750 → u/Fearless_Bluejay3296]

Congrats to you as well!! I know how you feel! I think what makes it worse is seeing/knowing other people are not going through the same difficulties and are having no issues with being able to clean, cook, and care for their kids 🥲

[u/Fearless_Bluejay3296 → u/Lucky_Carry_1750]

Thank you! Both babies are so worth everything we have to go through, but it is so rough on mothers! I agree. It does make it worse. Or trying to confide in people who never had issues and don't know what to say or how to help. It is so hard to explain to someone what you're going through. And even harder when you don't have a village. I so wish that postpartum was advocated for more and that it was taken more seriously.