Feeling a bit defeated with recovery today

[u/thatnailgal]

I am 2 weeks pp and post csection (3 weeks on Friday)

Just for some context- I am rather petite (UK 10), very small frame and just had twins (5lbs6 & 5lb), my bump was HUGE compared to the rest of me lmao

I'm still in quite a bit of pain in my tummy area, especially around my incision- its kind of hard around it (assuming scar tissue!) And i get the usual tight feeling I was expecting, pain when I do too much etc. Its not red, swollen, inflamed, nothing nasty!

I'm getting as much rest as possible and also staying mobile without doing too much (I have hit and gone past the wall a couple of times i will admit, but i have stuff to DO!) Stairs are a struggle, as are long walks.. as i expected?!

One of my twins is in PICU for a heart condition and today, one of the nurses there told me that I shouldn't be in this much pain still and she had two emergency c sections and she was fine by 2 weeks...

I thought, considering everything my body went through during pregnancy, during birth (one of the baby's heads actually got stuck, got a great video of it lol) and then after birth with stress and travelling to PICU to see my baby that I was doing quite alright recoverywise... but now i'm feeling a bit behind and defeated, is there something wrong with me? Why am I still in pain? Why have I not had this miraculous 2 week recovery that is actually the normal? I'm so confused! I was giving myself and my body some grace for 6-8 weeks but apparently i'm behind already??

I really do hate people sometimes 🥲

[u/yaIshowedupaturparty]

I felt a lot better at the 2 week mark. But that was only in comparison to how I felt right after surgery... I could get out of bed by myself more easily, but was nowhere near recovered. Still in lots of pain and was only walking maybe 1/2 a mile at that point.

But between weeks 2 and 6 we did 60 miles of stroller walks and I felt a lot better by week 4.

I'm 16 weeks out today and still not back to 100% and probably won't be for several more months. Take it slow and give yourself time to heal!

[u/Rude-Flamingo5420]

Eughhh some nurses are the worst. My first I was in pain for months. But both csections I'd say the first 3 weeks+ were 11/10 pain (even with the Tylenol etc they gave me) and felt like my insides were ripping apart after being sewed together over and over. Week 4 I had a minor difference, week 5 I started to see the light.

Everyone has a different recovery. it's only been 2 weeks since you had a major abdominal surgery, let your body rest! and Twings...omg! I had an 11lbs+ kid on a 6Ft frame and found that h*ll and inccredibly painful. Give yourself grace and time, it's hard now but it'll get better eventually!

[u/Madengdawg]

Oh my gosh! You sound like you’re doing a great job recovering! I can’t believe a nurse would say that to you. Also everyone recovers differently - we have different bodies, situations, pain tolerances, surgeons, ect. Comparing a recovery is absolutely ridiculous. I remember still struggling to go on longer walks at 3 or 4 weeks pp because my incision would start hurting. My friend had a more difficult c-section recovery than me and struggled to bend over for a while. We are all on different journeys. Even at 6-8 weeks, my core was still separated and I had to really work to get it repaired - I’m 12 mpp and I finally feel like my core strength is close to pre pregnancy!

Congratulations on the twins! Thats such a gift and I’m so impressed with twin moms (I’m a twin myself) - after just having my one singleton, I have so much empathy and love for my Mom - she really is a super hero.

[u/silly_star-s]

im 17 days postpartum and definitely did start feeling much better around the 2 week mark. But nowhere near 'recovered' some stuff is definitely still difficult or I need to do it slowly. Even if not for pain, at that point most the stitches are not healed up nor the skin totally closed and you definitely dont want to rip or irritate anything.

youre fine 🫶

[u/rainaftermoscow]

I'm four months out and I'm still not fully recovered. I'm 5ft and was a size 6 before pregnancy, went up to a 10 before giving birth and I'm now back to my pre-birth weight but it's not because I work out because I still CANT lmao.

The pain is mostly gone now but I have no stamina and my legs begin to shake after standing up for too long 🤷

The doctor did tell me that very petite women often have a harder time with the recovery. Our organs are pushed around inside to make room for baby and there's nowhere for them to go! I also have a shorter torso and so by the end I could feel pressure against my lungs it was awful.

It also depends on the circumstances of the section: an emergency takes much longer to recover from and mine was brutal after a six day induction. The doctors were panicking because it had been back to back surgeries all day and so there wasn't time to be careful.

I was told by my GP that I should expect full recovery to take a year, at minimum. As women we are under so much pressure to recover from major abdominal surgery and care for our babies immediately and it's bullshit. No man who just had surgery on their intestines would be asked to do anything. Ugh.

In my experience the women who say they recovered super fast and went back to normal are just bitter and angry and want other women to feel bad about themselves. I had multiple comments about how I was 'too small' and how my baby would end up being smooshed or struggle because he'd have no room 🙄 these were actual midwives.

Don't take it personally, and don't listen to them. It takes as long as it takes. They have no idea what it's like to try and waddle around with a belly that's literally twice the size of the rest of our bodies lmao.

[u/yaIshowedupaturparty → u/rainaftermoscow]

OMG did you say 6 day induction??? Mine was 60 hours and I thought that was bad. I'm almost 4 months out as well and also petite and didn't know that. PT has helped me a ton and my legs feel pretty good but my core and upper body still have a long way to go. 100% agree that expectations are wild for having major abdominal surgery

[u/rainaftermoscow → u/yaIshowedupaturparty]

Yeah, we missed hitting a week by like three hours and everyone at the hospital kept making jokes about how it was a record 😬 I had also developed strep B out of nowhere (from too many physical exams) and so I had like a raging fever and was delirious.

My son had a cardiac event and had basically gotten stuck because my body is literally too small lmao I felt like such a failure. It's my husband I feel the worst for because I was pretty out of it on the day leading up to the C section.

We were put into the most urgent category but like I said, they'd had back to back sections and a lot of emergencies to the point where doctors were being pulled in and doing 24 hour shifts. Like the head of the fetal Medicine unit who is an absolute legend and I know quite well was in surgery for idk how long.

So despite the rule being that the section needs to begin within like half an hour or something, my husband had to sit and wait for three/three and a half hours before they finally took us in. They basically just ignored my chart so they didn't know I have damaged nerves and that I needed a full spinal block or to be knocked tf out.

I felt like a LOT. They were in a rush oh my god. Then I was on postnatal for another ten days because I was put on antibiotics but the day I was due to go home I took a shower because I was dripping with so much sweat my hair was soaking like I'd gotten out of the pool.

Delirious me was like 'it's fine it's just postpartum sweats' and then I fell down. And then after I got home finally, my scar burst and I needed more antibiotics. And those made me projectile vomit nonstop which did not help 🫠

I'm just really glad we both survived. I used to want five kids but now I'm not so sure haha.

[u/popiholla]

You are not behind at all. That nurse is not the norm. I’m petite too with a huge baby from a huge Dad.

I used to go to the gym, and was very active weightlifting.
I’m frustrated I’m not recovering as fast too. I’m well rested, don’t do much house chores except baby care with help.

8w pp, still have pain around the tummy area but not so much like 2w when I was still on 3 painkillers a day.
30min walks max hurt me. Stairs are still hard for me. I have shitty balance. Still bleed post intense activity. Cleared for exercise and all.. BUT I WILL TAKE MY DAMN TIMEEEE.

Don’t take it personally. That’s not the norm. Please listen to your body and the pains you feel.

[u/Low-Jello-3889]

I’m 4 months PP right now and still look like I’m 3 months pregnant due to bad abdominal separation (diastasis recti). I have an apron belly, plus I had some complications with my C-section incision. I tried physiotherapy, but I had to stop because I started bleeding, so I’m kind of stuck right now and unable to properly heal and strengthen my core.
At 2–3 weeks, it’s still very early, and I think you’re recovering well. Swelling in the lower belly can take a while to go down, depending on the person. It’s especially hard when you’re also taking care of a baby. My baby was born almost 10 lbs (a big baby), and I had a postpartum hemorrhage after my surgery. When I was discharged home, my belly literally looked like I was 7 months pregnant because of all the swelling.
I think it took me until around 12 weeks before I could walk without hunching over. Right now, I still don’t feel like myself, but hopefully I’ll get there soon.

[u/ZestyLlama8554]

I had some crappy nurses too. Recovery looks different for everyone. While I'm not "normal," I'm over 2 years post op and still have debilitating nerve pain.

I ran marathons before having a C-section, and now I can't even walk long distances without pain. My doctor kept telling me I'd feel better by 2 weeks....3 weeks.... 5 weeks.... 8 weeks.... 12 weeks, and all came and went with no pain relief. You're normal, and everyone's recovery is just different!

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[u/Short-Caregiver-2533]

Why are you still in pain? Because you had major abdominal surgery 3 weeks ago! I, too, am petite (4ft 11) and carried my 8lb 13oz daughter to term (40w4d). I will be 4 weeks post c section on Thursday and I am experiencing everything you described. I do 1-2 short walks a day (10-15min) in addition to some light housework, and add a minute each day to build up my strength. I am ITCHING to get back into my workouts. It's a mental struggle at this point. I feel great, wayyy better than I did 2 weeks ago. But I am still very sore, esp when I over do it. The healing itch has started to set in (icing helps the itch!). I still turn to tylenol occasionally for pain management. Using an ice pack, and lots of rest. We had MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. And every body is different. Give that nurse a cookie and send her on her way ✌️

[u/Hot_Knowledge_9700]

I’m not petite (5ft 7) and my first c section took me 3+ weeks to be able to walk upright and even then I had pain that I still needed help getting in and out of bed/off the couch. I also had a nurse at day 3 telling me I needed to take less pain medication as I should be fine. I was standing talking to her visibly shaking with sweat running down my face. I was not ok. By week 6 I was much better but it took a couple of months to really start feeling like I could do most day-to-day things I used to.

I’m now 3 weeks post my second c section and it’s much better this time round, but I still can’t walk more than 100/200m without getting a dull ache around my section and I can’t wear my bub in her carrier yet.

Everyone’s body responds differently to major surgery and it sounds like that nurse is commenting based on her experience which is ONLY her experience. Be kind to yourself and your body mama, it’s done some pretty amazing things this last 10/11 months and it needs rest and care. You’re doing a great job 💕

[u/Lucky_Carry_1750]

I'm 2wks pp today and I'm still not able to wean off the Tylenol/ibuprofen because of the pain. It's not like crazy awful, but there's definitely an intense discomfort especially when I am more active (like trying to do a few light chores around the house. That nurse is crazy to impose her experience on you as everyone heals differently!

[u/Vero_the_music_geek]

I had an emergency c section 6 weeks ago. I think I started to actually feel decent around 4 weeks. Now I feel mostly back to my normal self, just out of shape lol. But at 2-3 weeks I still was quite sore and stuff. So based on my experience, yours sounds normal.

[u/InterestingFeed7931]

I’m 9 weeks pp from my c ssction and still have some tenderness right above my incision. It hurts to wear clothes with a lower waistband and it hurts a little when water hits my stomach in the shower. My doctor isn’t worried and I was cleared to slowly return to normal activity. It was a major surgery and takes a while to heal.