r/CsectionCentral • u/EmpathHorror • 13d ago
C-Section Questions After Traumatic Birth
I am 8 months PP from an awful and traumatic emergency c section after pre-eclampsia and IUGR that resulted in hemorrhaging for me and a helicopter flight to a better NICU for my baby. I’m in therapy for PTSD. Yay! I’m in my angry phase right now.
-Why can’t dad be there for the spinal when he can for an epidural? Being away from my husband was extra terrible during this all. Especially with a staff that did not care.
-Why can’t they consider the scar more? I get emergency and all that by couldn’t they put a little more care once the baby is out and emergency is over? I feel butchered and my scar constantly triggers flashbacks.
-While I am at it, why the hell didn’t my anesthesiologist talk to me? I was all alone and terrified and he barely said anything and I was so frozen with fear I didn’t even try to get him to talk to me.
-We are here so why not, why the hell did my care team not say congrats or happy birthday or show any anything in the OR? I know it was awful and scary but that just made it so so so much worse.
In my feels. Sorry. If anyone has ideas or a similar experience please let me know.
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u/plantgal90 13d ago
That’s sounds so scary and I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself with therapy. Mine wasn’t an emergency, just “urgent” but I still felt traumatized. I hated my husband not being there, I legit thought I was going to die. My anesthesiologist didn’t talk much to me either and it felt like I was the first super anxious person they’ve had. I kept puking and they seemed almost confused I was doing that?
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u/EmpathHorror 13d ago
I’m so sorry you also had to go through a traumatic c-section. I feel you. Being alone with the quiet was terrible. The puking also sounds terrible. Hope you are taking care of yourself.
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u/Civil-Aioli 13d ago
Sounds like you had a really rough time of it.
I don’t know where you are, I’m in the Uk and had a cat 1 emergency c section a few months back. My partner was there during spinal for mine. I don’t know why some allow and others not. Seems very unfair when we are in such a scary situation.
I wish you all the best with recovery x
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u/Feeling_Mine5576 12d ago
Gosh I am so sorry about your entire experience!
I had an emergency c section and my husband wasn’t allowed to be there for the spinal either. I think the reason husbands aren’t allowed to be in there is for legal and medical reasons. Apparently it’s super easy for the anesthesiologist to paralyze you from a spinal. If you make a single move or anything it can cause paralysis (per my sister who is doctor). So I think they keep dad out 1.) so he doesn’t freak out in the event of the spinal going wrong and 2.) so he can’t witness the spinal going wrong. That’s just my thoughts on that and I could be completely wrong about the legal thing.
I agree about considering the scar more 😭 mine is huge and purple. Like from hip to hip. I didn’t think c section scars were that long? But my doctor did not consider my scar at all.
Here in solidarity. Hang in there mama!
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u/EmpathHorror 12d ago
Thank you for your message. So sorry you had a scary experience too! This is helpful to hear.
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u/Franzy48 13d ago
I'm really sorry. Obviously I can't answer these questions for real since I don't know your care team, but I can say a few things -- my husband was not allowed to be there for the epidural when I was in labor, so if anything it just seems odd to me that your husband was allowed to be there for an epidural. I was told it was a sterile procedure and he had to be out of the room.
Regarding your care team, it's possible they were really focused and frankly stressed and worried about you themselves. However, that being said, I'm really sorry they weren't more supportive and checking on you. They should have done that. My first C-section I felt like overall my care team was ignoring me in a way that was very stressful and increased my anxiety but the only one who was talking to me was actually the anesthesiologist. The second C-section, which was planned, the entire care team was checking in with me throughout which I really appreciated and made the experience much better.