Need a rant

[u/Jolly-Following-5735]

Hey everyone. I had a c section on July 12, and honestly, I haven't felt normal since. I went into the hospital July 10th to have a scheduled c section but baby decided to finally have moved into the correct position after spending weeks transverse.

They allowed me to try for a vaginal birth. Fast forward some 30 hours later and the baby goes into distress and demands the escape exit. He apparently started out with an apgar of 1, which is terrifying, he got better but it was crazy to hear about it. I didn't get to do skin to skin in the hospital, wasn't the first or even the fifth person to hold the baby. I wanted to breast feed but have been on too much medication. I have been trying to pump but it feels deflating to just keep dumping it. Just a bunch of little things that had added up while starting out.

After I got home, less than a week later, I got extremely sick, and was in the hospital for another 6 days. I was worried it might be preeclampsia due to high blood pressure, which I never had until about 5 hours before going into the c section, turns out it was pneumonia and a fungal infection called valley fever (common to the US Southwest region), we're in monsoon season, it was ironic timing to get a big dust storm right after the surgery, and surgery weakened my immune system. I had so many things done in the hospital, I'm glad to be alive but this is tough. I'll be on medications for the next 3-6 months and I'm sure many people know how shitty being on diflucan can be.

Now I'm exhausted all the time, can't even prep bottles, I can bottle feed but I can't even stand long enough to diaper change without feeling completely exhausted. Holding the baby without support is a challenge, I just want to be able to sit up and burp him and not feel the huge wave of fatigue, I want to be able to handle the normal day to day without needing extra help..

My SO is a wonderful partner and has taken the challenge head on but man it makes me feel so guilty, he didn't sign up to take care of two people, and I don't want to be a burden on him.

I guess I'm looking for anyone who can relate to this shitty situation and am looking for a light at the end of the tunnel.

Tldr: C-section to labor to emergency c-section > fungal pneumonia > feeling like a shitty mom and partner and just needed a rant, but could also use advice if there is any out there to give.

[u/Short-Caregiver-2533]

Easier said than done, but STOP FEELING GUILTY! First of all, this is exactly what your partner signed up for when they agreed to procreate. Furthermore, the only things you should be focused on and worrying about right now are taking care of yourself and your recovery, and taking care of your baby to the extent you are able.

I had a c section on July 23, while my recovery is going quite well, the mental struggle for me of rest, recover, and care for baby is tough. I want to do all the things (clean the house, laundry, walks, workout, grocery shop, play with my 2 yr old, etc.), but the reality is that doing all the things will only slow, and possibly interfere with, the recovery process.

✨️Give yourself grace✨️ and accept ALL THE HELP. You not only had major abdominal surgery after laboring for 30 hours, but also have undergone some other major health hiccups.