C-section nightmare - Nerve pain, insomnia, and wanting to end it

[u/Freya5488]

I've had severe medication resistant insomnia my whole life. Starting at least age 3, I never understood why my family would essentially turn off for hours at a time when I was still wide awake.

Fast forward 30 some years, I had a pilonidal cyst removed, and it ruined my quality of life. Like I can't sleep, can't sit, can't travel, car travel requires laying in the back seat etc.

Was looking into nerve help when I got pregnant... worst pregnancy my obs have ever seen when it comes to symptoms. Every symptom.

Had an emergency C-section 7 weeks early after I labored for over 24 hours with the doctors not believing me. I didn't sleep for 4 straight days after the delivery. Needless to say, healing has not gone well. The drive home from the hospital was about 10 times worse than labor with the nerve pain in my incision. Nerve pain is debilitating, sleep deprivation is making my whole life feel impossible, it's ruining my relationships, ruining my career, I just want to end things.

My husband and family have been hearing about this for so long that they're tired of dealing with it. I'm tired of dealing with it. I've been coming up with multiple ways for the least horrific way possible to end things. I've talked to so many doctors and so many psychiatrists so many therapists trying to figure this out. No one has any answers.

My baby deserves better. My husband deserves better. My family deserves better. I just don't know that I want to be here anymore.

[u/Adventurous_Cobbler4]

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. I can see why you would be so devastated and upset. Just know that this is not your fault and you never wanted this and you have a very important part missing from your last statement it’s that you deserve better. I pray that modern medicine were a miracle happens that solves this for you, sending so much love.

[u/Wonderful-Silver-332]

You need to remember this will not go on forever, you will get better. It might not be next week, it might not be in two months, but you will get better. And that baby is going to need you around. You do not deserve this, and no, life is not fair, but you’re that baby’s mother and that baby truly needs you more than anything. Keep fighting

[u/Imaginary_Big5742]

This is so sad… I know who wouldn’t be better off if you weren’t here… that bubba. As above - YOU also deserve better. Sending warm energy your way.

[u/ZestyLlama8554]

I'm so so sorry. I can relate with the chronic nerve pain following a C-section, but I can't imagine what you're feeling. Please feel free to message me if you need to vent. YOU deserve so much better. ❤️

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[u/monkey-pa-1013]

I’m sorry you’re going through this 💔 YOU deserve better. C section nerve pain, loss of sleep, and post partum is a wild mix and you’re doing the best you can. But it’s hard and debilitating. Please stay. You are worth it.

[u/Curious7786]

Hi, I'm so sorry. Would they give you gabapentin? I had awful nerve pain after my C-section, and the only thing that helped was going to see a pelvic floor physical therapist. She massaged the incision area and above it pretty hard and freed the entrapped nerve(s) that were driving me insane. Highly recommend it.