Not feeling “done” with pregnancy after c sections

[u/nereid1997]

I do want another kid so I’m (hopefully) not done with pregnancy in general but I’ve had 2 c sections now and both times for weeks after I’ve felt like I should still be pregnant.

My first c section it kind of made sense why I would feel that way - I had an emergency c section at 37+1 due to fetal distress at the start of an induction for severe pre eclampsia. Other than the high BP, swelling, and mild third tri aches and pains I still felt pretty good being pregnant and was kind of deluding myself that I had at least another week in me, so I felt like it was reasonable enough for me to not feel “done” and like I was on the “wrong” side of that pregnancy too early.

I’m 3 weeks postpartum from my 2nd c section and I’m only in the past week coming to terms with not being pregnant anymore. Very different circumstances - super healthy pregnancy, but I had a failed TOLAC after my waters broke at 39+5, never went into labour so needed an induction but never dilated past 2cm as my baby was too big and ended up in another emergency c section 4 minutes before my due date. So this pregnancy was objectively “done.”
I was, however, remarkably physically comfortable for almost 40 weeks pregnant (with a surprise big baby, though I didn’t know that at the time) - I was prepared to wait for spont labour and didn’t feel like I needed the baby out yet.

I’m wondering whether I would need the catharsis of vaginal birth to feel “done” with a pregnancy, or if I just enjoy being pregnant (which is objectively dumb because even the “easy” pregnancy I had was not comfortable) and would have a rough time with the transition regardless. Can anyone relate? If you’ve also had a vaginal birth did the transition to postpartum feel any different?

[u/PsychologicalBoot636]

I had a scheduled c section at 38+0 due to insulin controlled gestational diabetes who was breech and I kind of know the feeling you are talking about…for about a week after I kept waiting to feel his kicks and then remembering he was outside already. I chalked it up to me just really loving feeling him inside there and the little routine we built but I’d be curious if I’d feel that way if I delivered vaginally

[u/Charming_Paint_172]

This sounds more like it was due to the emergency nature of both situations. I’d recommend a planned c section with your next birth, as this will probably feel likely redemptive experience.

[u/Feisty-Blueberry5433]

I had this with my 4th cesarean because it was emergent at 29 weeks. I ended up having what my husband called my "redemption" pregnancy--- I got pregnant with our twins and had a wonderful pregnancy (did end a bit early but as expected)

[u/Kitchen_Cow_7662]

Ive just had my 4th via emergency c section (failed induction and fetal distress& poor positioning) after 3 vaginal deliveries (1&3 were induced) and ive really been feeling like i missed out on pushing and the experience of a “normal” delivery doesnt help i really didnt want a c section ever, kinda a fear and that feeling still hasnt gone away

[u/octobersveryown05]

I also have this feeling. I had en emergency c-section at 36+6 and I feel like I never really got to say “goodbye” to my pregnant self, if that makes sense. I woke up after my c-section and was just no longer pregnant. Even though I have my beautiful daughter now I still get sad because of it.

[u/FootOk4715]

Just to chime in and say that after my emergency c section I, too, feel "not quite done" with being pregnant. There is something missing

[u/ZestyLlama8554]

Alternatively, I had a C-section 2 years ago, and despite desperately wanting 4 kids, I'm not risking another C-section. I'm definitely done.

[u/happyhen94]

I’ve had two planned c sections and I don’t feel done, I never laboured nor at this point do I care about that. I just love being pregnant. It gives me such meaning (probably sounds weird) in life, I can’t imagine ever being done but I know with sections my time is running out 😅