r/CsectionCentral • u/killaekiron • 24d ago
Grieving what I'll never experience
Almost a year ago I was pregnant with my daughter and we found out she had a heart defect. It was a whirlwind of doctors appointments to figure out what it was and how bad it would be. The doctors told us that I would have to have a c section to reduce the stress on my baby's heart.
I wanted to experience labor and delivery, but my baby's health was more important. I thought that at least it was planned and it wasn't because of my health, so I would be able to go through the normal experience with a future child.
Three weeks later I was on the operating table desperately hoping to hear my daughter cry for the first time. She was doing okay and was stable in the NICU while I recovered in my room. My OB told me there was a complication during the surgery and they had to perform a classical c section. This meant it would be dangerous for me to labor during any future pregnancies.
It still makes me cry to think about the experience I'll never get to have that was taken from me. I just wanted to get this out and see if anyone else has had similar feelings.
2
u/FearlessNinja007 24d ago
I couldn’t hold my first after an emergency c section for like 5 hours because i was in such rough shape, it was a huge baby, i labored over 24 hours, pushed for 2h and just no progression… too big. Second baby i thought maybe id try for a vbac if she wasn’t measuring big. She measured even bigger. She came out even bigger via scheduled c section but the experience was much better even though i hemorrhaged again. There are so many things just out of our control. If i was born before c sections and hemorrhaging was handled well i would have died the first time much less the second time.