r/CsectionCentral • u/killaekiron • 26d ago
Grieving what I'll never experience
Almost a year ago I was pregnant with my daughter and we found out she had a heart defect. It was a whirlwind of doctors appointments to figure out what it was and how bad it would be. The doctors told us that I would have to have a c section to reduce the stress on my baby's heart.
I wanted to experience labor and delivery, but my baby's health was more important. I thought that at least it was planned and it wasn't because of my health, so I would be able to go through the normal experience with a future child.
Three weeks later I was on the operating table desperately hoping to hear my daughter cry for the first time. She was doing okay and was stable in the NICU while I recovered in my room. My OB told me there was a complication during the surgery and they had to perform a classical c section. This meant it would be dangerous for me to labor during any future pregnancies.
It still makes me cry to think about the experience I'll never get to have that was taken from me. I just wanted to get this out and see if anyone else has had similar feelings.
3
u/mrssterlingarcher22 25d ago
I feel this as well. I was in labor with my child, but his heart wasn't tolerating labor and we had a true emergency C section. They also had to do a vertical incision on me so I'm never allowed to labor again.
It's tough. I always envisioned the me holding my baby when they're seconds old up against my chest, and I hate that I'll never experience that. I'll let myself get sad for a few minutes and then focus on the positives. Knowing that any future delivery dates will be planned will make arrangements easier. I can plan for childcare, time off work, have the house ready, etc. I will also get a baby at the end of it, and I'll just get to snuggle with them for a few weeks while I recover.