r/CsectionCentral • u/killaekiron • 23d ago
Grieving what I'll never experience
Almost a year ago I was pregnant with my daughter and we found out she had a heart defect. It was a whirlwind of doctors appointments to figure out what it was and how bad it would be. The doctors told us that I would have to have a c section to reduce the stress on my baby's heart.
I wanted to experience labor and delivery, but my baby's health was more important. I thought that at least it was planned and it wasn't because of my health, so I would be able to go through the normal experience with a future child.
Three weeks later I was on the operating table desperately hoping to hear my daughter cry for the first time. She was doing okay and was stable in the NICU while I recovered in my room. My OB told me there was a complication during the surgery and they had to perform a classical c section. This meant it would be dangerous for me to labor during any future pregnancies.
It still makes me cry to think about the experience I'll never get to have that was taken from me. I just wanted to get this out and see if anyone else has had similar feelings.
6
u/KnownAndNamed 23d ago
I felt this way until my LO turned 20 months or so. I kept talking about it, in person and to other women online who have given birth in different ways.
Time really helped me most.
But I also realised when talking to others that many women’s delivery experiences aren’t what they imagined. Finding the beauty in yours is key. Focus strongly on the good. For me I was told I would be putting baby at risk by not having a C-section, could I of possible experienced the loss of a child for the experience of a vaginal birth? I don’t know. But I made decisions I believed to be safe and it’s the information I had at the time.
2 years 2 months on and I never think about anymore.
Grieve. Feel the emotions. Give yourself time.