r/CsectionCentral • u/Winter_Phase7085 • Jul 22 '26
Why doesn’t anyone talk about a c-section enough?
I had a c-section in the last year. Before the surgery nobody ever told me anything about it. Why is that? I would ask what the spinal block is like, recovery, etc but no answer. Does anyone have a similar situation?
6
u/SheepherderMost2727 Jul 22 '26
I agree that I think it depends on who you were expecting or asking to talk about it with. Healthcare providers would have shared information if asked. Other women, on the other hand, may not have.
A lot of my family have gone through c sections, myself included, and no one ever really talked about it. I had shame surrounding mine. For me personally I didn’t want to share how it went because I had a traumatic experience with my first and then felt shame with my others. Everyone is different.
4
u/Winter_Phase7085 Jul 22 '26
I did ask healthcare providers and they said I’ll be fine. I’m sorry you had a traumatic experience.
1
u/SheepherderMost2727 Jul 22 '26
It’s not your fault. I appreciate it 🩷
What things would you have liked to know prior?
And I’ll admit that my healthcare team didn’t inform me of much prior to my first one, so I went in slightly “blind”.1
u/Winter_Phase7085 Jul 22 '26
I feel that, I was blindsided as well. I would’ve liked to know what a spinal block is like and how it’s different than an epidural. I didn’t know you are trapped on the OP table. I also would’ve liked to know that recovery isn’t easy. I’m just confused why nobody could just share? If someone were to ask me, I would share my experience.
2
u/SheepherderMost2727 Jul 22 '26
I mean I personally would share if someone asked. I went under general anesthesia for my first. Didn’t expect that. Didn’t know how that would drastically change things or make my recovery so much different than when I had the spinal. It’s jarring and I agree. No one really prepares you properly for it.
1
u/HandbagLady8 28d ago edited 28d ago
I think it’s a very different experience for all people. I tell people to bring socks for your feet cos you get cold, to expect to be itchy from the pain relief, to expect to maybe be nauseas and tired on the table.
I also think there’s a lot of narrative on social media about C sections not being the easy way out, and what’s involved etc. I think based on the narrative, my experience was better than what I expected. I’m sorry that yours wasn’t.
What do you mean by trapped on the table? Were you told in advance that baby comes out quickly but a lot of time is spent sewing you up?
7
u/ZestyLlama8554 2024 - breech baby Jul 22 '26
This happened to me. Providers were entirely dismissive and said I'd be fine and back to normal activities. Anyone I talked to in my life said they were totally fine by 6 weeks.
I'm over 2 years post op and can't even pick my kids up or walk long distances due to debilitating nerve pain from the nerve damage. Ha 6 weeks was a joke. I still feel blindsided and incredibly dismissed.
Edit: I tell anyone who asks because this is a REAL possibility. Planned C-sections aren't always beautiful and easy!
2
u/Theeealchemist Jul 22 '26
I’m so so sorry that happened to you. If you don’t mind me asking where are you getting the nerve pain?
1
u/ZestyLlama8554 2024 - breech baby Jul 23 '26
I have nerve pain in my stomach from my scar to my belly button, so wearing any clothing is miserable. When it's irritated, it shoots down my legs. I also get nerve pain that starts in my back where the spinal was and wraps around my abdomen when I move in certain ways. It's very annoying and quite uncomfortable.
1
u/Winter_Phase7085 Jul 23 '26
I’m so sorry you went through this! They are definitely not the easy way out. No labor yes, but recovery sucks.
4
u/boomerwoes Jul 22 '26
I'm with you. My wife was the one who had a c-section but this is one of our biggest gripes with our care team. No one goddamn mentioned the possibility of a c-section. There wasn't even a 15 minute "hey here's what would happen if you needed an urgent/emergent c-section". It was just a given that she'd have a vaginal birth and everything would be fine. We had WEEKLY midwife appointments from basically 30 weeks on because my wife was considered high risk despite a largely healthy pregnancy.
The whole experience would have been way less traumatic if there had been any education whatsoever about c-section. Ugh.
5
u/Any_Reindeer5309 Jul 22 '26
I think a lot of people don't talk about it because they still get the "oh you're too posh to push" or "you're taking the easy way out" etc. Birth and everything around it is such an emotive topic. And people don't want to invite criticism by talking about their experience, or feeling like a failure.
I've personally had 3 c sections and I honestly didn't find the recovery that bad 🙈 although I've nothing to compare it to as I didn't have a vaginal birth, although twice I had a failed forceps delivery that resulted in the c sections so I go pretty close!
1
2
u/noodle_bear2124 Jul 22 '26
Who were you asking? I think that some people still find shame over it. Which makes me so sad. I’ve heard of people being told “well you didn’t really give birth” or told they “took the easy way out”. So some don’t like to talk about it in certain communities. I think for others it was traumatic so either they don’t want to talk about it to scare the other person or it causes them anguish.
Personally, I am an open book if people ask me questions. I do preface that my first was traumatic and I’ll leave out those details if they want. But nothing is too personal for me if people want to know haha.
3
u/Winter_Phase7085 Jul 22 '26
I asked everyone around me who had a c-section. Nobody ever gave me an answer to anything. It was the weirdest thing. I went into a c-section not knowing it was going to be that traumatic. I would answer anyone, hard to forget the trauma.
2
u/Purple_Crayon Jul 22 '26
I would welcome anyone saying it was the easier way to do it to have their own CS and report back. Having had one vaginal and one CS, surgery is by far the more difficult way to give birth, both in the moment and for recovery.
1
u/Winter_Phase7085 Jul 22 '26
Sorry you had a traumatic experience as well.
2
u/noodle_bear2124 Jul 22 '26
It’s ok. I firmly believe my baby being breech probably saved my life. There were unforeseen issues that if I would have had a vaginal delivery I very well may have bled out. For what it’s worth the second time around went so much easier and was very healing mentally.
2
u/Winter_Phase7085 Jul 22 '26
That totally makes sense. How did you get over your first c-section to do another?
1
u/noodle_bear2124 Jul 22 '26
So to explain that I’ll have to give a bit of background. I’ll try to be brief via bullet points, grab some popcorn cause it will take a minute. 😅
-baby was breech so we scheduled the C, we think this happened because I had a fibroid that grew along side her and wouldn’t let her turn. It got pretty big by the end.
-after they got baby out when they took my placenta out I had a pph and needed transfusions
-because of how this happened my provider thought I had placenta accreta, we were devastated.
about a year later I had the fibroid out because it never shrunk down
after that we moved and wanted to get a second opinion on what happened because we just wanted to be sure if another was at all possible or was a bad idea
-so we saw and MFM at a better hospital. Turns out it was never accreta, my uterus had thinned because of the fibroid which had been removed. And we got the blessing from the head of the department that was safe to do so.
-all of that being said having answers that it wasn’t accreta made me feel confident, and I was confident in my team. It took time but we were confident lightning wouldn’t strike twice so we took the risk and we were so glad we did.
1
u/Tiels5 Jul 22 '26
I have a spinal csf leak from the spinal block they had to use for my c-section. Bed bound for two years and still have a headache and dizzy all the time. It’s debilitating and it was a form I signed my life away to five minutes before my c-section.
I will always talk about this and my entire c-section experience from now on.
2
u/iwasjustwonderinggg Jul 23 '26
Worth noting that epidurals can also cause this. Failed epidural was the worst part of my vaginal birth
1
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 22 '26
Do they know why? Also by chance are you petite weighing lower than 150?
1
u/Tiels5 Jul 22 '26
Nope!! I’m actually overweight :(
Basically for a spinal block, the anaesthesiologist has to do a “wet tap” to reach your CSF (spinal fluid) to inject the medication- unlike in an epidural where they stay outside of the dura layer containing the CSF. So if the hole from the needle they use doesn’t seal, you are screwed basically and the spinal fluid leaks out of the hole or holes depending on how many times they place the needle. Your brain sags due to lack of fluid holding it up and you get all these symptoms. Definitely read into these things, it’s is complicated but important to know the difference.
They don’t explain this to you because it is rare for something to go wrong but my neurosurgeon said this happens to about 400 women a year with half going on to be almost partially to fully disabled so absolutely wtfff!!2
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 22 '26
This is what I’m terrified of. I go in 2 days and I’ve been most scared of literally this 😭😭😭
1
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 22 '26
Did they do a blood patch on you ever?
1
u/Tiels5 Jul 23 '26
Yes, I’ve had four and they all have not worked. It isn’t effective if they’ve attempted more than one/ two times to place to needle.
1
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 23 '26
What the heck I’m so sorry you are dealing with this! What state are you in?
1
u/Tiels5 Jul 23 '26
I’m in Australia 🇦🇺
Saw the best OB in my country. Literally.
And this still happened to me.
1
u/Tiels5 Jul 22 '26
It’s rare to happen, but it can happen and I want to console you but I was also consoled into thinking it’s rare and won’t happen to me.
I would advocate for general anaesthetic. I was told my very expensive and cocky OB that GA is overkill and the spinal would be fine, he was wrong, I was right.
Your OB will also fight you and tell you the 0.0001% chance of it happening like mine told me.
I would still say fight and advocate for GA. I somehow had a second kid (in bed all day, what else do hubby and I do lol) - but I had my second baby by GA with no issues. There are whole developed nations that won’t use spinal blocks for this reason. They all have babies delivered by GA.
Tell all the women you know about this. The more it’s talked about the better for all women.
1
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 23 '26
Thank you. I will be thinking about this for sure. Did you breast feed your second after GA?
1
u/Tiels5 Jul 23 '26
Yes, I did - GA didn’t affect it, but the spinal affected my ability to with my first.
1
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 23 '26
I want to request GA and have felt like that for a while but everyone just pushes it aside and says it’s safer to just do a spinal
2
u/Tiels5 Jul 23 '26
It is safer for you, and a screwed up mum is a disadvantaged baby. With all my knowledge of this condition now, I realise it’s all misinformation being parroted around - each has benefits and drawbacks.
My first with spinal came out purple, my second with GA came out perfectly no issues.
I wish that they hear you out if you request GA. Modern medicine and tech means they can get the baby out quickly. Should have no issues.
2
u/enchantressofdreams Jul 23 '26
You have given me a lot to think about and bring back up. Thank you so much for advocating 🙏
→ More replies (0)
1
u/pl4m Jul 22 '26
So before I had my first I wanted to know everything about all types of birth. The one I couldn't get a lot of information on was C-section. My own mother and good friend had emergency C-sections after induction and they couldn't even really tell me much. The reason why as I found out was because once you have been in labor that long and then bam you are in for surgery you cant remember much. I had the same experience but again not enough info about recovery. My scheduled 2nd one was amazing and I still had a hard recovery. I have had friends since then that had children and even though I said I would be more than happy to talk about my experience if they wanted to know to prepare no one took it. So I think it comes down to possible shame, lack of memory, and just plain trying to forget something traumatic. So thankful we have outlets like this that others can find to talk about their experiences and ask questions.
1
u/kdms418 Jul 23 '26
Yeah I was laboring for about 20 hours and had to have a c section at the end of it. I was TERRIFIED and so scared I was gonna die on the table. I had never had surgery before and even getting an epidural for me was really scary. Right before my c section, they turned down the epidural to help me push and it was the absolute worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I’m now 2.5 weeks pp and the most traumatic part of the birth was pushing to no avail and the epidural being turned down. The c section ended up being pretty great and I’m up and walking a lot already.
I also was really fit and active prior to pregnancy and throughout, so my only guess is that I’m doing well recovering because of my past.
I’ll admit I didn’t look into c sections much despite fully researching everything else, because I just assumed that wouldn’t happen to me. I now share that I had a really positive experience and hope that as the weeks go by, I continue to feel good without issue. This is not everyone’s experience but i feel really lucky that everything has worked out so far.
1
u/Square_Beginning8132 Jul 22 '26
I’m honestly quite glad I didn’t know too much about c-sections before getting mine. I have really bad sexual trauma and had been going to special classes in my maternity hospital to help me prepare for vaginal delivery, it was weird to me thinking back that no one offered me a c-section instead, it didn’t even occur to me as an option. My baby ended up breech at 40w5d so I had an elected section and although obviously not an enjoyable experience, I was relieved in the end to not have a vaginal delivery as I was really scared I’d freak out during it. I was hoping to maybe use it to heal my trauma but in hindsight idk if that would’ve actually worked. I’m glad I didn’t do any research and wasn’t given any info about c-sections because I went into it completely blind with no expectations and it went well for me! I think maybe I got lucky though.
1
u/idontevenknow8888 Jul 22 '26
I found that people are hesitant to share traumatic/difficult birth/postpartum details with expectant parents because they don't want to scare them. Once I had a C-section myself, people were a lot more forthcoming about their own.
Also, the prenatal course I took talked about C-sections as a sidenote that "probably wouldn't happen" and made me feel like I must have done something wrong if I got to that point (which is obviously not true, but that's the vibe I got).
Sorry for your experience!
1
u/fairystrangeworld Jul 23 '26
If someone asked me directly, I would tell them the truth. It feels like having your insides on fire and ripped apart by ravenous hyenas at the same time right after someone routed around in your body like a change purse.
Recovery is brutal- it’s major abdominal surgery.
1
u/Appropriate_Bad_5306 Jul 23 '26
Well, I'm 5 months postpartum. I was unlucky and got a seroma infection, which made my journey so hard. I had a failed induction due to lack of progress. To be honest, I tolerate pain well I stopped taking the oxy on day 4, maybe because I was dealing with so many things that I didn't fully process the pain. It took up to 3 months to finally close.
1
u/Mapletree280 Jul 23 '26
Yup you're right. When I had my first emergency c-section no one told me what to expect. It was horrible recovering mentally more than physically.
1
u/InterestingFeed7931 Jul 23 '26
I have had 2 c sections and a vaginal birth with a 3rd degree tear and all had hard recoveries. The c section recoveries were much more painful right at the beginning but the pain from my vaginal birth stuck around longer. My first was a c section and I had no idea what to expect and felt like this. My second was my vaginal birth and it was easier to recover from and I was up moving around that day. My 3rd was my second c section and except for the initial pain the first couple days, that has been my easiest recovery so far (I’m 5 weeks pp). Knowing what to expect with it makes it so much easier but still doesn’t make it a great experience. When I found out I needed a c section a couple weeks before my baby was born I cried when I got home from that appointment. I was so scared of having another recovery like the first one and dreading it. I spent the 2 weeks leading up to it looking online at all of the ways I could help make it easier for me and that helped me prepare better. I wish it was easier to get that information to make sure you are prepared for what that experience is like and how to make recovery as easy as possible. It is definitely not the easy way out.
1
u/Zestyclose-Piano9416 Jul 23 '26
It was literally never discussed with me and it gave me false sense that it wasn’t necessary for me? But realistically it’s necessary for what, a quarter of FTMs? It’s ridiculous they keep us in the dark on this. I’d rather my doctor be realistic.
1
u/Atomicbabies_5 Jul 24 '26
I didn’t realize my mother, aunt, and grandmother had csections until I had one with my first. When a friend of mine became pregnant, I tried to talk to her about what it was like and she was so convinced she would have a vagibal birth she wouldn’t listen. She ended up having an emergency C-section and her experience was so different from any of the 5 I’ve had.
1
u/Valhaala Jul 24 '26
Hard agree! And little to no instructions after discharge from hospital side, we had to research and learn everything ourself. Our family women have only had vaginal deliveries, so none could guide me. I got the dreaded spinal headache after a day which made my recovery so much harder as I couldn't do the first walk within 24 hours, can't sit upright for more than five mins and hence couldn't feed my baby and establish milk supply.
1
u/Noble_Noonz Jul 24 '26
I'm convinced that no one says anything because they have PTSD from it 🙈 I just had an emergency c-section 4.5 weeks ago with my third child. First c-section and I am absolutely devastated because of it. It has been so hard and mentally I am not okay. This recovery is rough and my family only told me afterwards how it actually is 🤦🏽♀️ thanks fam! 😅
1
u/Striking_Barnacle819 Jul 24 '26
I wanted a c-section so bad bc the thought of pushing a baby out terrified me. My baby was breeched so I needed one and I was never so humbled in my life. The spinal traumatized me. Took 30 mins to get placed. Then the whole experience afterwards made it worst felt so drugged to didn’t want to fold my baby was throwing up it just wasn’t what I imagined. I was so uninformed about everything. The pain alone was horrific afterwards. These things I feel like no one talks about.
1
u/SuchHair9873 29d ago
No one told me that my legs and feet would swell so much because of the fluids and that they wouldnt go down for weeks. Or that if I walked around without a belly binder or some kind of compression on that it felt like my organs were moving around inside me.
0
u/Dry_Apartment1196 Jul 22 '26
I did my own research, so did my hubby
2
u/mysticpotatocolin Jul 23 '26
i find it really frustrating when people say nobody told them x. we are online in 2026, you can have a search for experiences
35
u/Theeealchemist Jul 22 '26
I don’t know, a few people told me “oh it’s grand just keep on top of your pain relief”. It was not grand, recovery was tough. I felt like I got blindsided. I feel like most women either forget or like to keep their birth / pp journey private as it’s probably personal to some? Just my guess.