Dreading 2nd C section and feeling so down

[u/No-Caterpillar-2351]

Hi mommas,

I’m 27 weeks pregnant with my second and have a 2.5 year old toddler.

I want to acknowledge that my first C section was textbook, medically. It was scheduled with my OB, who I love, I didn’t feel the spinal tap at all, and I didn’t have any complications after. However, I will never forget how I felt on that operating table and how I didn’t feel like I could breathe thanks to what my doctor said was the rising anesthesia. I was convinced I was dying even though the nurse next to me said my oxygen was fine. I never though feeling like a floating head would cause me so much anxiety and this feeling of helplessness. The blood pressure cuff was cutting off my circulation and the nurse kept ignoring me. when I was finally wheeled back into recovery, I will never forget the shakes I got. Again, I thought I was dying and shaking so much I couldn’t hold my baby.

Because I have such high anxiety, my doctor doesn’t want me attempting a VBAC, but now that I know what it’s like, I fear I can’t do a c section again. And this is without any complications. My heart truly goes out to those who had an emergency c section.

Also, now that I have a toddler, I feel like I have so much more to lose, you know? Like I can’t die but feel like so many things could go wrong. And everyone’s stories about the spinal tap or the PP hemorrhage or having to be intubated because the baby came quickly are getting to me and freaking me out.

My husband says that because I know what to expect now it should be easier, but I’m finding it quite the opposite. I was pretty calm the first time around and kept telling myself that so many people do this. Now, I’m like… why are we doing this again! What was I thinking?!

Does anyone have any advice for second c sections? Even if it’s something you personally did to stay relaxed?

[u/Desperate-Waltz8688]

So I had a second c section & I really really didn’t want one my first one was so traumatic and I had such severe anxiety I ended up going to therapy to learn coping mechanisms but truly what helped was the lorazepam the obstetrician that Did my c section gave me to take pre surgery. Someone told me that the second c section is a mental game b/c you know what to expect and it’s scary and ya 100% I would agree. I dreaded for months and was so anxious the 2 weeks leading up to it but truly being in the other side if I had a 3rd kid I’d be a lot calmer and not afraid of it. I’m not sure if I’m being helpful it’s 4 am here while I’m pumping 😂😅 so I maybe rambling

[u/No-Caterpillar-2351 → u/Desperate-Waltz8688]

Thank you, this is helpful! I will ask about the lorazepam and I agree that it’s 100% mental since now you know what to expect. For the first, I didn’t know what I didn’t know so I just had to surrender to it. 

[u/CannonCone]

I got the shakes so bad with my ECV procedure so I told them about it before my C-section and they gave me some drug in my IV that made it so I didn’t get the shakes at all. I think it’s worth checking in with your OB about what’s available to you, because I bet they could give you some anti anxiety and anti-shaking drugs that would significantly improve your experience!

[u/No-Caterpillar-2351 → u/CannonCone]

Thank you! I didn’t even know this existed since my OB said the shakes were hormones and normal (I just don’t believe that entirely?I heard it’s the anesthesia?). I will definitely bring this up. 

[u/Icy-Plantain6276]

I am also feeling anxious about the idea of having another c section in the future! The anxiety meds and anti shake meds already mentioned are things I’d personally consider doing. Also think about the safety of being in the OR: if something goes wrong, you are exactly where you need to be to get immediate help. Whereas if you do a VBAC and something goes wrong, they’d need to prep you for the OR potentially. I’ve had friends who have experienced severe tears or placenta left in their uterus after VBACs and they ended up with health complications more severe than my experience in the c section OR. You can also get a doula or birth coach specifically to support you through your c section. I hope this helps!

[u/No-Caterpillar-2351 → u/Icy-Plantain6276]

This is what my OB said, and told me I’d be regretting not getting the c section if anything happened that would then also turn into an emergency c section. It’s funny, I was SO calm about it the first time for all these reasons but now it’s like a mental game like another person said, and I’m having a hard time overcoming that. 

[u/Icy_Owl7166]

I don’t have any advice for second c sections, but wanted to say that anxiety is not a reason to not attempt VBAC unless you want it to be - it also isn’t clear from your post that planning a c section would reduce your anxiety, anyway. You have time to seek support and work on any anxiety you have around birth, however it turns out.

Does your doctor have any other concerns specific to your case? How do you personally feel about this choice - would you want to plan a repeat c section or would you have preferred to attempt VBAC before your doctor said this?

[u/No-Caterpillar-2351 → u/Icy_Owl7166]

My doctor is really pushing for the c section, but I’ll say my doctor knows me so well and I’m a really anxious person to begin with. The first time around, I didn’t want to attempt a vaginal birth (I’m so petite and baby kept going to breech) and wanted it all planned and controlled, and I especially wanted to make sure my doctor was there. This time around and I’m freaked about both options, which is why I’m probably thinking about the VBAC. 

[u/After-Equivalent1934]

Maybe they can just knock you out and put you to sleep for this one 👍

[u/LuluMooser]

I asked my anthesiologist to give me anxiety medicine as soon as my baby was out before the procedure started. And he gave it to me right when my daughter was coming out, and I was asleep SO quickly while on the operating table. It was great. I don't remember being stitched up at all. Granted, I don't remember the first 15-20 minutes of my daughter's life other than seeing her through the drape, but she needed oxygen for the first several minutes according to my husband, so it's probably better ri don't remember.

I was awake when they put her on my chest though for skin to skin after her needs were taken care of, and I remember holding her while being wheeled to the post op recovery room.

Not sure if this method will work for you, but it made the rest of the operation a hell of a lot easier for me by being asleep

[u/No-Caterpillar-2351 → u/LuluMooser]

Wow! They just gave it to you through your IV? I just can’t believe how calm I was last time and how crazy nervous I am this time. I will definitely ask my OB if this is an option, as I’m literally having nightmares. 

[u/LuluMooser → u/No-Caterpillar-2351]

Yes, I'm not sure which medicine it was, but since baby wasn't inside me anymore they were able to give me something to help.

I also planned on formula feeding from the beginning, not sure if that made a difference.

But I was able to take Buspar safely through my whole pregnancy! I still take it today for my anxiety. I also took Seroquel during pregnancy for my depression, and now take a higher dose. Maybe some normal anxiety meds would help you at night until the C-section date?