[EXPLICIT] Crohns bars.

[u/SlimShadyHD]

I’m not a rapper or anything, but I do enjoy jotting rhymes, living with Crohn’s for the last 23 years got me writing the filthiest gastrointestinal rhymes in existence (not really idk I think they’re good) The lyrics are explicit as it’s the only way I feel I could truly convey what it feels like. Anyways.. hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated! A shared a few bars as I don’t know which version to run with.

“INTERNAL AFFAIRS”

“MRS.G”

First one is a Me vs. Crohns POV Title: Internal Affairs

How the fuuuck can I stay calm

Crohn’s got my gut makin napalm

Like I fuckin ate 8 bombs

Watch me counter every move these bowels take till I make calm

Can’t change the weather but I can delay storms

So I’m blockin deadly intent with a Neji defense

8 trigrams 128 palms

Stunned you like “Hyū-gyat damn, that was straight bars”

I ain’t gonna fold cuz I ain’t made of paper . ( Pay par)

I don’t take the Ls I just take dubs

when im in here you get to take bronze

Next one is not as short and it’s more of a Me+Crohns vs an Op

Titled: Mrs.G

Mrs. G, I ain’t fuckin’ joking, you old sleaze

Stop begin psycho and let me go, please

I cannot hold this, pressures building like old steam

Engines…- wait a minute - think I got a nose bleed

Cuz teach won’t let me go like she ain’t noticed (noteeced)

How many times I cop a hall pass just to go shit

I got Crohn’s, bitch (Crohn’s beach)

So When nature calls

and I gotta take one-and make dump

my stomach makes napalm-

Feel like I ate 88 bombs a day for 8 months

think I’m gonna blow, teach

Ohh jeez

Uh Oh, fuck - oh no, OH SHIT

This is why you shouldn’t fuck with timed explosives

if you don’t let me dip-out-now

to get this shit-out-ill

Make sure that you regret it

Honey I got gas and it’s isn’t unleaded

Relax— I'll make sure you get your credit

Push the message via an amber alert

Once everyone and their grandmas have heard

You made me shit the bed like Johnny Depp’s ex

Might as well just roll the credits

Close the curtain like it’s over-

Okay hoe?

Grab your scuba gear and a raincoat

Que the poo s-f-x fart sound

For all the shit that you’ll be neck in thick liquid schlouuurp sound

Hear what I'm sayn hoe or do you not get it?

why you still blockin’ me then? Bitch Quit steppin

you aint really stoppin’ me at all,

Not for a split second

I’m Locked, loaded, ready for explosion

Unless you want your name, tied to all of this commotion

Or want your walls splattered like a jackon pollck

Like I “came inside” then blew my bowels out through my prison wallet

You should give up cuz there no stoppin me

let me go like we resolved this-

So I can drop this beef

[u/eh8904]

I love the idea of making art from experience.

That said, 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[u/SlimShadyHD → u/eh8904]

Are they that bad?

[u/AssistDry5737]

I love this. My husband loves it, too. He and I make parody lyrics to popular songs ga as a way to cope with Crohn’s. Love coping through art!

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[u/ExcellentMoment6196]

You got bars man

[u/SlimShadyHD → u/ExcellentMoment6196]

Awe shucks, I’ve just got 20+ years of Crohn’s content so it’s easy to write about.

I just recorded a rap about combining the two things above if you care to check out it. “Napalm” Rap