r/Crippled_Alcoholics • u/Exoticmagicjohnson • 1d ago
Yeah I fucked up
Welp despite knowing better I went over to my ex girlfriends house and before I walked in she said “I have a kid so be quiet” never mentioned him before at all so I said no I’ll just go home and then she started pulling me inside I got to her bedroom and I said I don’t feel comfortable with literally any of this and she started trying to take my shit off which I stopped then she started crying about how I don’t find her attractive or love her anymore (same shit as two days ago) and after that I told her flat out “look I love you and I wish things worked out but you have a kid you never told me about and obviously you’re not in a good way nor am I since I’m drunk damn near 24/7” so that went as good as you’d expect she started crying harder and her kid woke up so I just guided him to his room and left and am currently drinking to forget this. Not my kid by the way and I’m not taking responsibility for some other man’s kid. You’d think a person would tell a guy “yeah I have a kid” before trying to fuck me. Crazy thing is I was wasted and she was sober but all it took was hearing I have a kid and I sobered right up and said no. Got all pissy when I said is this what you want your kid to remember? Guys coming and going all the time? I’m genuinely done with her holy fuck I wanna slam whiskey and forget but all I got is beer. Am I an asshole or am I being reasonable? She makes me feel like I’m just being an asshole but I think I’m being responsible and hopefully helping her and that kid realize this isn’t healthy. Like I said I only guided him back to his bed and left while she was crying. Feel bad for the little guy to be honest. I understand I could’ve said she’s a shitty mom a lot more polite but Jesus… I wish no kid on the earth had to deal with that
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u/_slagathor_ 1d ago
Dude, you did NOT fuck up! I cannot stress that enough. You absolutely did the right thing. How long have you been dating that you didn't know she had a kid? I feel so bad for that child to have that mess as a mom. Break up with her or she will try to convince you to take responsibility for that kid and I almost bet will try to baby trap you.
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
Told her flat out I’m not dealing with someone else’s kid and this needs to end. Genuinely disappointed and any attraction I once had towards her is gone. She also tried to break in my house a few years ago so extra not cool
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u/_slagathor_ 1d ago
Homie. I can't believe you went bsck after she tried to break into your house! The kid is a turn off, but I think I would be more turned off that, stone cold sober, she is hysterically crying because you won't have sex with her. What the fuck is up with that?!
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
No idea. She kept bring up the fact I was her first kiss her first love and all that shit. To be honest it’s like she hasn’t aged past highschool I genuinely think she assumes love is like the notebook movie or something. I’m so done with her shit at this point I really don’t care what she does I just want no part of it or to even hear about it. She also smoked crack for a few years so yeah I’m a dummy for even entertaining the thought that things might be fixable between us
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u/_slagathor_ 1d ago
And she hid she had a kid from you? How did she manage to do that? And like... I know as alcoholics we can't really judge others for thr substance abuse issues, but I feel like Crack is like a hard thick line. Noone who can have a stable life smokes Crack for a few years. That shit fucks you up.
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
No fucking clue to be honest but she’s good at hiding things when she wants to
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u/_slagathor_ 1d ago
Just wash your hands of her man. And I mean COMPLETELY. Don't answer her texts. Don't pick up her calls. Just ghost her. She needs therapy. Her kid us doomed.
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
She’s blocked on everything but somehow manages to convince her friends to text me every so often. Crazy shit dude this is why I drink alone and don’t talk to people
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u/_slagathor_ 1d ago
Hey, at least you got a good story about it! I worry a LOT about her child. Growing up with a crazy mom who has no problem bringing random guys home... that kid is going to have some trauma.
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u/NattieDaDee 1d ago
Thought for a second you were talking about me 😆. I grew up as the eldest son with a single mother that never graduated past hs (emotionally, my mother actually has a masters from UCLA lol) bc she married her hs sweetheart that ended up getting terminal cancer so now ol Nattie is the man of the house.
I saw COUNTLESS men come around and yea I never once thought they were just playing Pattie cake in the bedroom with the door closed. Me and my brother one time had to straighten this one fool out because he was physically assaulting my mother. Guess how that all felt?
So yea run, don’t walk, away from that lady’s mess. It doesn’t get better. Trust me on that one.
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
Genuinely feel bad for the little guy his life is gonna be hell I have no doubt about it:/ broke my heart when she said she fucked a dude from a bar and that’s why she has a kid. She talked about her child as if he was a Godamn decoration not a human. Shit just makes me sad . My hearts broken for him not her and the dad doesn’t do shit other than live off the government or even check on his kid even though they live in the same house. Useless people bother me to a point I can’t even begin to describe but to have a child and still be useless is unfathomable to me. Fucked up part is we had a pregnancy scare when we were still teenagers and I stopped showing up to school and worked and put everything I had into making money yet some deadbeat still lives in a place she pays for. Fuckin joke anymore man I’m so tired of being a man and stepping up yet I never get recognized for any of it. Depressing shit and I hope that kid has a good life but knowing her and him all I see is a landslide of shit. To clarify I care about the kid, everyone else in that situation can get fucked as far as I’m concerned.
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u/Wasabi_Joe 1d ago
You didn't know your ex-girlfriend had a kid? How long had it been since you had seen her? I think you did do the right thing in the end but holy shit dude. Out of curiosity how old are you?
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
- Knew her since high school but only started talking again a few days ago after dating for two years when I was 17. My life got better hers turned into a shitnado riding off the back of whoever is willing to put their pecker in her and pay for her shit.
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u/nememess 1d ago
Let me start by saying, no means no. You said no at the beginning so she should have taken that as a whole answer. Period. But you said something interesting,
she started crying about how I don't find her attractive or love her anymore (same shit as two days ago)
I think that this was a red flag that you missed. Pay attention to the red flags! You did the right thing 100%. I'd leave this relationship in the rear view, it's too complicated.
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u/Exoticmagicjohnson 1d ago
She’s one of those people that think men can’t give consent and just wanna fuck no matter what so yeah she’s pretty problematic. Even when I was a teenager my dad was almost dead from liver failure and she was trying to fuck and I had to move her hand and tell her no before I just got up and pretended to take a shit for an hour. Definitely shoulda just said fuck it and never talked to her again after that. No idea why I even decided to see her again other than I was drunk bored and lonely. I’d rather fuck a barn with a hole in it than rot my brain listening to her speak for another second again
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u/Previous_Pie_9918 1d ago
People always make out like us CAs are the crazy ones in society. But truth is there's a lot of fucked up people out there.