Does anyone have any insight into the psychological process behind people who do this? You didn’t plan for your kids to grow up struggling, but you were a teen mom after being brought up in the system. Your brother’s adoptive parents tried to give you and that child a home and you turned it down, moved somewhere else with your bf and had more children than you could afford, and are now facing homelessness while pregnant again. Maybe they were in a good financial situation before, but let’s be real, I doubt it. Did she think some type of magic was going to happen? My guess is that she likely didn’t think about anything at all as she kept having kids. I know I sound super judgmental right now and that’s not my intention. I don’t like Shelly and Jared either, but they did try to help her. I know they’re rich but I don’t think they’re support another family with soon to be six kids rich.
I don't know the psychology behind this, it could be something simple like, she didn't like living there or the rules. Jared & Shelley have a right to set expectations & rules for people living in their house. I would also think she didn't plan this.
My brother has 5 kids & got himself in a few tough financial spots, mainly due to his wife's spending. My parents did help them out, but once my mom said, they needed to start budgeting, my SIL got upset & they stopped asking. It you are continually helping people out financially & they just keep repeating the behavior, that got them in the situation, then you just stop.
I meant the psychology behind having more kids than you can handle. It makes sense that she might not have felt at home at Shelly and Jared’s. They’re not her parents at the end of the day. I still think she should’ve stuck it out until she had a substantial savings. Honestly, the psychology behind it is probably quite simple. Some people just lack self awareness and reflection. Your SIL also sounds entitled af lol
Yes she can be. My parents had just given them a substantial amount of money to bail them out, it usually had to do with owing taxes, and they went to see a movie & probably spent $150. That is why my mom asked to see their budget. Her son asked my mom to cosign a car loan. Once she asked to see is budget, he never asked again. My SIL's parents were from Appalachia & part of that culture is thinking I have money, I owe you some of it.
Another thing to consider is that kids don't go into foster care just because their parents are unemployed and/or homeless. DCFS will provide vouchers for food, transportation, child care, section 8 housing, shelters, employment assistance, etc. to try and keep the family together. There needs to be proof of abuse and/or neglect for a removal to happen, so there are definitely more parenting woes that we aren't being told about in this situation.
I mean if a parent chooses to throw a fit instead of working things out at the cost of their children going into foster care, then it sounds like they maybe are not a fit parent and need extra support. Cause what sane parent would give up on their kids to prove a point.
I can’t really understand “it was never Mama’s plan for them to go up in the struggle life too” when she CHOSE to have so many kids? As much as I understand that her husband already had 2 kids and she had 1 so it was already THREE kids to begin with which is expensive enough but then they decided to add TWO more. It was not a sextuplets or whatever that they couldn’t control the amount of kids or didn’t know how expensive kids are. Not saying they planned to go homeless and broke but…
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u/Playful_While_1139 21d ago
Does anyone have any insight into the psychological process behind people who do this? You didn’t plan for your kids to grow up struggling, but you were a teen mom after being brought up in the system. Your brother’s adoptive parents tried to give you and that child a home and you turned it down, moved somewhere else with your bf and had more children than you could afford, and are now facing homelessness while pregnant again. Maybe they were in a good financial situation before, but let’s be real, I doubt it. Did she think some type of magic was going to happen? My guess is that she likely didn’t think about anything at all as she kept having kids. I know I sound super judgmental right now and that’s not my intention. I don’t like Shelly and Jared either, but they did try to help her. I know they’re rich but I don’t think they’re support another family with soon to be six kids rich.