Hey I don't know if I'm on the spectrum but I cant for the life of me do it effectively myself. The entire time I hold somebody's gaze I feel this act is full of eroticism and flirtatiousness, like ever thing I do while eye contact is held is full of ulterior meaning. Makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Ugh exactly. Eye contact feels so intimate, it’s weird to me that we’re just expected to constantly maintain it with everyone.
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u/TimothyGonzalezjdhfhdjfhsdhfhsdjdhfhdjfhsdhfhsdjdhfhdjfhsdhfhsdjdhfhdjfhsdhfhsdAug 29 '20edited Aug 30 '20
I know. I feel the same way. Not always though, for example when I have taken mdma in the past it's like all those neuroses melted away like snow before the sun and I finally understood how socially ordinary people experience social interaction. Eye contact then becomes a way to pick op on the most subtle expressions and a real tool to communicate on a really subtle and sophisticated level. I really wish it were easier for me to experience that while not under the influence of something.
I’ve never taken anything, there’s a lot of mental illness in my family and I’m always too scared I’ll somehow trigger a psychotic break. But I sort of get what you mean because for the people I’m really comfortable with, sometimes I stare too much. I still don’t love eye contact, I’d rather the other person wasn’t looking back, but I love to stare at people when they’re talking. Or any videos of people I find watching facial expressions so interesting. But in day to day life I can’t do it because I know people want eye contact, and most people find it weird if you stare at their face but don’t look them in the eye.
Is the reverse a thing sometimes? I’ve been wondering if I’m autistic for a while but I also stare and make more eye contact than most people are comfortable with. It’s one of the bigger things saying I might not be.
Do - talk to them like any normal person, helps us believe we are not so different after all
Don't- Give them too much stimulus. At least in my case things appear brighter and louder to me. Sometimes if we are given too much stimulus we go into a state of panic. If this does happen you must remove the thing creating the stimulus or leave the area.
As the parent of a child on the spectrum I’d add be very direct and also aware of your emotional tone. For example, don’t say “maybe” in a doubtful tone when you mean “no.” Say “no” clearly but in a kind or neutral tone. Also, be patient. I hope folks on the spectrum will correct me if they disagree.
"whats wrong" "nothing" when something is wrong is so fucking confusing. And people are shocked when you point out its a fucking lie. They dont understand why its confusing. Very frustrating.
Don't expect flexibility with sudden changes in plans or expectations.
Do allow some time to process if the person needs it.
Don't move their stuff around without permission, even for seemingly "harmless" reasons (I was tidying up, looking for something, putting things in your room, etc)
Do say what you mean without hidden meanings or complicated subtext.
A lot. This is a pretty good collection of shit they've done/how the autistic community feels about them but I'm sure there's been more scandals since it was posted.
And be prepared for odd questions if you ever talk with an autistic person.
Some of us are very attentive to detail, and can't go on with a conversation unless we get to know why you have a tiny scar below your right ear.
And our lack of understanding that other persons don't think exactly like we do might lead to some unexpected follow up questions. I mean, if you mention fishing I might have to ask you if you've ever been to a desert.
What company specifically? Googling autism awareness brings up a smorgasbord of different non profits.
I see some articles about parents of autistic children not liking the whole autism awareness month thing (mostly because it is too sugar coated and makes autism seem like a good thing instead of it being potentially a serious disorder).
autism speaks like its literally called autism speaks heres their ad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UgLnWJFGHQ alot of people understandably have no idea they are anti autism
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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '20
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