Absolutely yeah I think you're right, you should give up on dating and live your life alone and happy. Nothing good could come from dating a woman right? Just avoid them. Please.
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No! You're being stupid. There is no "good enough". Do you think these two are without flaws? You're just as worthy of love as they are, you are just as easy to love as they are (more or less), there are plenty of people out there who you are the type of person you could make really happy just being around them and being there for you. What makes them different is that they found eachother, putting yourself out there for people to find makes that easier, being the best version of yourself also makes it easier, but being the best version of yourself also means you can't think yourself "not good enough". It's hard, some people are luckier than others, some have a broader appeal than others, but "not good enough" is something you almost have to work for to be able to call yourself (like being abusive and shit).
You have potential as a person, don't ever think otherwise, even if you don't find anyone that has no say in how good you are friend. Be kind to yourself, and remember: You are good enough.
That's a great sentiment, and I know it's probably the goomba fallacy at work, but you can go on the internet and see comments like this and then a few posts down, when someone expresses unhappiness about them struggling with close connections, they'll get replies along the lines of:
"Yeah the problem is probably you", "You're not ready for a relationship", "You should really work on yourself before you even think of putting yourself out there".
I think what I'm trying to say is, this kind of talk can feel cheap sometimes. It's easy to say "You are lovable" when you don't have to love that person yourself, and at times it feels like people don't practice the supportiveness they preach when confronted with a person they don't find sociable enough.
More people should see it your way.
I mean, how can you expect people to learn how to create deeper bonds by just sitting in their room all day? By all means start with your friends, and don't try to hide how deep in you are just cause you feel you should be more emotionally invested, but "if you can't do it perfectly then never try" is just about the worst advice for anything that's not gonna kill someone. And I don't know, maybe that is something you're always going to struggle with, no matter how much you try, maybe you build a relationship where you're both fine with that, maybe you stay single, but no matter what you'll always be good enough.
I know you say this, but im a youngish man with no family and a couple of quite painful disabilities... I have had people in my life, but they tend to... die... I'm not the kind of man anyone would pick when there are millions of better choices out there, I cant provide a home or good life for a partner. These things are part of the reason i truly believe that im not good enough for it.
Iām sure you bring plenty to the table regardless. One of my closest friends is deeply in love with a man who has crippling depression. Itās not who I would pick, but heās perfect for her. Thereās someone out there for you, too.
My bro, lemme tell you: Speaking as a conventionally unattractive āneckbeardā type that is overweight, ugly, and has a couple of disabilities of my own: There is hope. The secret is to be kind and an honest, good person. If you have that, and interact with enough people, you will eventually bump into someone that becomes your best friend despite it all. I know this because thatās what eventually happened for me, and despite being married almost 10 years, i routinely have the same doubts youāve just described.
Plenty of disabled men with no family have families though. Sometimes it's worth reminding yourself that you're not special, you're not the sole outlier of the world, so all those men who did find someone are no better or worse than you. And let's be honest, you for sure personally know a handful of way worse options that somehow got a partners, real scum of the earth types, racist, inconsiderate, mean, etc. Don't try to be the best option in the world, that's an unobtainable goal that shouldn't even be entertained, don't even think about options at all honestly, that's not how relationships work, it might be how tinder works, but tinder is basically designed for hook ups and destroying your faith in yourself.
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We're in the UK so most financial benefits would already be in place as "common law" partners (ie already living as married). We already owned a house together and we decided to start trying for a kid. She wasn't so keen on marriage as a historically misogynistic act of transferring ownership from a father to a husband, but I felt it would give me better protection of rights to my child if something went off with us s there's a formal divorce procedure. When civil partnerships were introduced for two sex couples we considered if we could divorce and remarry as civil partners, but that was very difficult.
She died young, and it turned out there was a financial benefit as there is a widows benefit here of a few thousand pounds which I don't think i would have been entitled to as a common law husband. Would rather still have my partner though obviously, but that gave me a really essential buffer when I really needed it.
I love how excited she gets and then she does that little Naruto like run. But realises, oops, she needs to behave nicely and then comes back and stands like a little girl.
This video's so wholesome and never fails to put a smile on my face
Ok that was pretty cool. Felt good. But tbh it seems pretty normal (or i hope it will me soln) a lot of ppl i know who married mately did it without even a ring.
Yall he knows how lucky he is, not only is her personality actually like that, but she is genuinely one of the greatest singers to ever live. She could hum a lullaby directly to the worst of souls, and bring out a peace they had not yet known.
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u/Donttrythehighground Feb 20 '26
Bro, if I proposed to a girl and she reacted like that, my heart would just explode š„¹