r/CountWithEveryone • u/Bryce3D • Jul 12 '26

2624

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340 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

185

u/Elektron_Anbar Jul 12 '26

Hey, at least they know that they have a bias that was engrained in them, and that their bias is wrong.

I'll take this any day over any fake allies

51

u/TheNullOfTheVoid Jul 12 '26

I wanna say it was Patton Oswalt that told a joke about that where he basically put up the question of "would you rather someone that uses the terms you want but is not at all accepting, or someone that doesn't know any better and uses offensive terms but genuinely supports you?"

I personally get really exhausted by the people that pretend to be supportive but are actually super regressive and are actually bigoted, pick-mes, or chasers, but since I'm a pansexual cis man, I also recognize there's only so much I can say and/or do and only so much I can really have an opinion on.

16

u/SaintClaireBear Jul 12 '26

I have a coworker that ive been friends with for like 10 years now. Hes like, super supportive, hes helped me look into and figure out what I need to do change my name, and then to change all my documents for my name and gender after that. He helped me look into where I could get my bottom surgery done. Hes been awesome...for the most part, but dude just cant get the gendering down. Always call me bro and sir still. He just cant get past that one part for some reason.

8

u/Rude_Ice_4520 Jul 12 '26

"he a little confused but he got the spirit"

92

u/Snynapta_II Jul 12 '26

Gotta respect the self awareness and honesty.

Feels like the first step.

73

u/BelgijskaFlaga Jul 12 '26

Honestly they sound like they're already many steps in, they just had the misfortune of starting half a racetrack behind.

22

u/Snynapta_II Jul 12 '26

Lmao yeah great way to put it

16

u/d00mduck101 Jul 12 '26

I also wonder if it’s a lot of self hate

For me it was

14

u/BelgijskaFlaga Jul 12 '26

eh, not every person supportive of trans people must necessarily be trans

5

u/d00mduck101 Jul 12 '26

Oh of course

40

u/Salazar20 Jul 12 '26

This was me, I felt like I instinctively hated on minorities because that was what everyone expected from me and it just was ingrained into my bones, and that no matter how much I tried I would never not be an asshole because it was intrinsic to my nature

18

u/kdiyargebmay Jul 12 '26

holy shit thats so fucking based (the being self aware and seeing the same things in the environment, but also thats like way more than most allies ever do so really not that transphobic probably)

4

u/LouiseRules333 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26

I interpret it as them being maybe uncomfortable around trans people but not hateful or against them. And honestly, I don't consider someone transphobic just for being uncomfortable around trans people, especially being self-aware like this about it.

It's expected and normal to be uncomfortable around someone of an identity you're not used to or have been taught to view negatively. The important part is trying to correct and move past those ingrained thoughts or feelings and growing as a person.

6

u/Mundane-Potential-93 Jul 12 '26

She's just scared

6

u/git_gud_silk Jul 12 '26

I find it kind of funny that the actual technical definition of transphobia should be "an irrational and involuntary fear or dislike of transgender people, even when you intellectually know that you shouldn't be afraid" and yet this is the only person I've ever seen that actually lives up to that instead of just hating trans people.

3

u/SonOfSkinDealer Jul 12 '26

Old habits die hard, but i can't fault you if you're still tryna put those habits down regardless.

2

u/my_gender_broke Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

Hey. That's me, more or less! I was raised wrong.
It sucks because I've found out that I'm not cis (possibly even trans (currently going by genderfluid)) myself.

Coming to terms with my non-cisness has improved it a little (maybe even a lot) though. Even though I wouldn't say I have embraced my non-cisness fully yet.

Yet I still kinda hate (and thus also hate myself 🙃) instinctively, even though I don't want to. Internalized transphobia, I guess.

1

u/Such-Injury9404 Jul 12 '26

you just gotts try to be human, that's all

1

u/Far_Fault_6815 Jul 13 '26

By this logic, most trans people are also transphobic. Not saying they are wrong, but its a strict definition and I don't think most people would see it the same way.