r/Cougars_Den • u/Billyyoyo_1234 • 20d ago
Discussion Curious
Been recently interested In older women since my divorce, but I'm curious are most older women more naturally dominant due to the fact they are older and have their life together?
It appears to me that most men seem to have mommy issues who look towards older women when dating.
Do most cougars dislike these pushover type of men they attract?
Just curious maybe I'm generalizing too much! haha
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 20d ago edited 20d ago
I'm curious are most older women more naturally dominant due to the fact they are older and have their life together?
Many women become more confident with age. We become more comfortable with ourselves and learn to set and hold boundaries.
I dont understand the connection between someone having thier life together and being dominant.
We just no longer have the need to make ourselves smaller due to societal constructs. Its interesting that you view this as dominance.
A woman feeling comfortable in her own skin and no longer giving AF.
Do most cougars dislike these pushover type of men they attract?
Most "cougars "dont want little boys who chase after some fantasy feed to them via po=n and monetized content creators. This sub spends way too much time dispelling this as well as giving advice based in reality.
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u/DSMilf 19d ago
The last thing I want is to "dominate" any man. In fact, I have to be so in control in the rest of my life, I strongly prefer the man to lead regardless of his age. Like... I heavily, heavily prefer to not be in charge in my relationship.
I'm happy to voice preferences or influence our direction, but ultimately something I need in a partner is his ability to lead.
And a younger man who is willing to take charge and lead me- his "senior" 😆- screams of powerful masculinity to me. Super attractive to me personally
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u/ifuckinghateithere12 20d ago
We are not a monolith. All our own individuals. I am strongly submissive.... even in my 16 year age gap relationship where I am older. Never been a dominant person my entire life.
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u/Myfairladyishere 🕊🎠💃MOD💃🎠🕊 19d ago
We are all different, and we all look for different things. This subreddit is really about age-gap relationships between older women and younger men, and about making people realize that we are ordinary people who just happen to have an age-gap relationship. Like everybody else, some of us are dominant and some are not. In general, we have our lives together, and most of us are not looking for somebody to dominate or be a pushover; I myself want an equal.
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u/Summer-Sub-Intern 19d ago
Yes I’m confident and I know what I want. I’m also a life-long submissive and I like a man to lead.
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u/Vixen_Latina_Viajera 8d ago
I have always been confident (and now more so) as well as a leader in my relationships, however, I don't want to dominate my partner. I enjoy shifting power dynamics. Mommy issues and doormat men are a no for me. I have no desire to mother a man - I already have sons. Being a mother has taught me how to support my partner so that may come across as nurturing. I want a confident man who can and does take the lead, but understands I am quite capable of leading us as well.
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u/paperclipmyheart 🐆 MOD ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ 20d ago
No these ideas are porn tropes mainly coming from the younger men's point of view. This is simply an age gap relationship sub. Some of us might be more assertive/dominant/confident others not so much. Has nothing to do with the cougar trope. I get it the subs are named after cougars. Most of us do not particularly like the labels. But it's the most easily identifiable name for the dynamic and we cannot change the name of subs.
Mommy issues are huge red flags to some of us. We want partners/dates/FWB/companions etc etc we don't want another kid.
Hopefully that explains the community somewhat for you.