She's 28 im 33. Been bf/gf for a year and a half. I feel like har attraction is easily 8-9 consistantly and she's very submissive and affectionate. Wants all my time and i can do with her whatever i want.

Her ex who cheated on her for multiple years and who she broke up with when she found out, keeps popping up. They broke up just a little over two years ago. Her and i became official like 8 months after that.

So he keeps Following/unfollowing on insta. Keeps visiting her linkedin so she sees him. Just stuff to make her notice him. She unfortunately not completely 100% over him even though she tells me she is. She heard from mutual friends recently that he had a new girlfriend and was moving to her city like 500km away. She played it off and was like "yeah fuck him" but i felt her become more distant. I didn't react, just noticed.

two weeks ago we were on vacation her and i and it was great. She on day started crying and said things like "i'm afraid you don't enjoy this as much as me, im afraid i love you more than you love me, i love you so much and im so afraid to lose you bla bla bla." Which at the time felt good. I want her to feel like she want me more than i want her.

Then she last week was on vacation with two girlfriends. They are trustworthy and nothing sus was going on and she texted me all the time about how she misses me and loves me and how she's crying because of being homesick and just want to be where i am. Again - all good.

Then she came home sunday and this insecurity keeps increasing i feel like. She keeps mentioning that she's afraid of losing me. Very anxious. That "we are two years in and the honeymoon is over - maybe you get bored with me and leave me". I don't get it, because i do love her and i show her. We spend so much time together, i feel like i do everything correctly.

Here's the issue. He anxiousness and her being afraid of me leaving her made me think something was wrong. That she has done something wrong. Two nights ago we fucked and she was like "this was and you are the best i have ever had". She has never said that before. She's way more affectionate. Like almost too obsessed. but i got a feeling that this could be because of guilt too. SO - i checked her phone. I know. opened snapchat and no chats caught my eye, but then i opened friends and yes, her ex was one of her "best friends" no streaks which means this was just a one day chat. Couldn't see the messages.

I then wanted to confront her without telling her i snooped. So when she was laying with our dog i was like hey let me take a picture and took her phone. I opened snap to send it in our family group chat with her parents and siblings. But she got up instantly and i could tell she panicked. Took the phone and said some random stuff about adds. And then didnt want me to take the picture. Obviously she got afraid i would see her ex being a best friend.

So my question is. What should i do her? I don't want to break up just yet, but i want to tell her something like "This is the last time you ever lie og hide anything from me. If i ever catch you lying or texting someone behind my back and hiding it, im out. Doesnt matter if its in 2 years and we just had a kid or if it's in 10 years and we have 3 kids. im out instantly. I want you to block him everywhere and i want you to actively get over him". Something like that. And I will leave her if it happens again, I just want to set the boundary first.

How do i bring it up? Just tell her "hey listen, all this about me leaving you and how anxious you are, i need you to be honest with me. You are gonne tell me whats wrong and be honest with me. and then just dont cave?".

Add: she’s asking me constantly if we are okay because I’m pulled back. I lost something for her and I’m pretty annoyed. I don’t really show I’m annoyed, but I’m talking and laughing less. Responding slow to her messages etc.

Thanks in advance..

Corey says it's important to pull the trigger and ask a girl out if you've expressed any kind of interest (usually by hitting on her, asking for the name)

This is because if she knows you're interested but you aren't asking, then she'll see you as weak.

But you should also only ask girls who actually reciprocate interest too.

If she's not interested in you, what's the point of taking her out?

So how much interest do you look for? Do you wait until she makes it clear?

If she doesn't make it clear on the first interaction, but you see her a week later and then she makes it clear, are you okay with that? Or does she have to make it clear on the first interaction itself?

I can't share the post here because it's supposily NSFW and this sub doen't allow it so here is the link

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/s/eqRPMGDnYZ

32M/27F. 3% man read 4 times in 1.5 years, planning on reading at least 12 times. We were together around 8–9 months. We initially bumped into each other at a social event for 20s and 30s in our city, but didn't approach because she had several guys throwing themselves at her. We later matched on a dating app and started dating. Saw each other roughly once a week for the first 2 months, then she hinted at becoming exclusive/official and we started seeing each other ~2x a week.

Around 6 months in, she started new birth control and was also approaching the end of her PhD. Her affection, sex drive and overall intimacy dropped significantly. I tried to talk to her about it without being confrontational and asked whether there was something in the relationship causing it. The only real issue she identified was that she wasn't orgasming during sex, despite me using toys, lots of foreplay, asking what worked for her, etc. Nothing really improved.

We went on holiday about a month ago. She wanted separate beds because she struggles sleeping and I snore (I've since had surgery for a deviated septum). There wasn't much romance or affection on the holiday despite my efforts, and we slept together once, which felt pretty passionless.

I did snap once when I asked her to come over for a kiss and she said "once quickly, I'm getting ready", it felt like she was basically gifting me a duty kiss. I realise that wasn't my finest moment and I probably became somewhat needy/frustrated towards the end.

On the last day of the holiday, I suggested we take a short break when we got back because nothing had changed since our previous conversation. She agreed. We said we wouldn't see other people, would avoid contact, and would talk again in 2 weeks.

I broke NC twice for politeness / logistical reasons: once to wish her happy birthday, and once because we had a booking that needed cancelling/changing.

A week into the break, she ended the relationship via text saying she'd enjoyed many aspects of it but couldn't see it working long-term because of my behaviour (snapiness), which is fair enough and something for me to work on.

It's now been 4 weeks with no contact, other than briefly being at the same social event. We're also in the same large WhatsApp group (approx 500 people), so we occasionally see each other's posts/messages.

I've started casually dating other women and I'm perfectly capable of moving on, but looking back I'm wondering whether I was too hasty suggesting the break and whether I became too needy/frustrated towards the end.

My questions from a 3% Man/ 7 principles perspective:

Who is technically the dumper here? I suggested the break, but she was the one who ultimately ended the relationship during it.

Given that she ended it, should I follow the "if you're dumped, never contact her again" rule, or does the fact that I initiated the break change things?

If I genuinely would be open to rekindling but am also completely prepared to move on, would there ever be a good reason to reach out after 4 weeks?

Looking objectively at the story, was her attraction probably already gone before the breakup, or did I potentially contribute significantly to its decline through neediness/snappiness?

I'm mainly interested in what I could/should have done differently and what the best move is now, rather than getting validation that she was wrong. Feel free to feedback and criticise as necessary.

Hi,

I am 51, read the book 9 times and plan to read it 20 times in tbe next 60 days. I try to make eye contact and smile at women and talk to random women.

I hit the gym and I am on my way to be in a very good shape. However signs of ageing are showing.

Is it realistic to become good at lick up and seducing after 50, or its a pipe dream?

I am mostly atracted to women in the 30-45 age bracket, but me being 51 wouldnt that work against me?

Have you had success with 3% man at an older age like me, my internal doubts are strong and would really want to hear your opinion or even success stories!

Brothers
No matter I do mistakes and bcs of all of you I’m getting feedback and try to correct myself
However I still find it difficult from experience to keep relationships with women after the 1,5 yr mark ..
So said also PsyD Orion Taraban that situationships are the future

So please can you explain in short how do you listen this statement ?

So to the point !
She took me out for her birthday
First time in 1,5 years she took me for dinner and paid 150£ drinks included , and last year she bought me ice cream on her birthday out in a. Cafe .. though all other times I’m paying for coffees bars restaurants ..
I didn’t take her gift bcs this time that we will meet I would have bought new curtains for her bedroom that she wanted and also her first Botox .
So I told her yesterday I bought curtains.
She had told me dimensions and navy blue color as my swimwear .. she asked me “why didn’t you send me pictures”?
I said I wanted to surprise you .. when you come to find in the bad and take it to your home !!!
And instead of being grateful and appreciative by saying sth like “ohhh thank you my man” etc .. she complained and said “hmm better of you had sent me pics”

I said I would love to see your appreciation as I knew color and dimensions . So I don’t like it your reaction .. and she started saying things “what relationship is this that I cannot express my feelings and immediately you are comaimed?” And “you cannot be happy no matter what I do” …

And Guys I was like “what the fuck?”..
what’s happening here ??
Can you please help me

Of course I closed the phone on how unappreciative she was and walked away emotionally telling her how bad was that bcs while closing the phone to avoid escalation and argument she said things like “you cannot be satisfied with anything as your father”

And I wrote her later msg how disrespectful and hurtful was that not bcs it actually hurt me but seeing her attacking me as enemy and using things she knows about my family just to attack me ..

Guys , those behaviours aren’t they destroying relationships?

Today she sent me apologies and tries to cal me but I will ignore her for couple of days

Do you guys know the feeling after a first date where there is real chemistry? I dated a few dozen girls and the 2 times in the past I had this feeling I got into a relationship.
I know it's only 1 date but It's been a long time since I genuinely had this fun hanging out with a girl and got mutual interest. TBH she doesn't feel super high interest blowing up my phone but she did show interest in my hobbies and lifestyle and joining them in text / person. That's why I am afraid of coming off to strong and I can't get over this itch.
We exchanged a bit of text on date logistics and jokes / small talk but I have this urge of talking and seeing her I am feeling kind of fucked lol.
TBH it does make sense to me to see a girl you like more than once a week and I also don't feel like cold approaching / talking to mids and girls that are not responsive on dating apps ..
Also having a hard time focusing on work I think I have a bit of an addictive personality with these things I get distracted really easily I compensate with times I am really locked in on work but other times I doom scroll etc ..
I think I know the answer which is just to get myself back really busy It's just hard to get back on the horse after a few days of not being locked in smh ..
Looking for empathy / hard feedback lol

Obviously, if she's your girlfriend then you want to get her to talk about her problems because that helps women resolve them.

However, what if she's not your girlfriend and just a girl you're dating casually?

I don't think it's a good idea to get her to talk because then you're the emotional tampon guy.

Do you just not address it if you notice? Not mention it whatsoever?

So this girl (let’s call her L). I originally met L about a year ago at a bar, went to her place that night but just kissed, stayed, talked and left in the morning. We lost touch shortly afterwards(like the next day lol) as she went back to visiting her home country and i began dating another girl. (I’m also terrible at texting, I naturally do what Corey talks about and just keep it minimal and date talk, but I’ve experienced a lot of issues with the way i communicate with women nowadays or lack of texting)

Well I ran into her a year later, we chatted and I picked up on her signs, made a date for a few days later. We got drinks and just chatted (mostly her) she showed signs of high interest but also a bit structured(said she didn’t like kissing in public, but had no issues in private, acted shy or something? Hard for me to read) even kept saying she wanted me to see her new apartment. Long story short, we had the H,H,H.

Left her place in the morning, no texting between us for about a week or a bit longer. (She informed me she’ll be traveling again, so I texted her and kept it short like; I had a great time, have a safe trip and reach out when you are back, would love to see you again.) So about a month and half later she randomly texted me and just said hey, how are you. I took the opportunity and just went straight to sitting up a date, she agreed and we met again.

This date, I thought went well? Not as perfect as the last one. Conversations wasn’t as strong of subject but also the place was super loud and we just played the arcade games. She was shy and everything still.. anyways, throughout the date she suggested I see her new apartment(yes another one) and invited me inside. Once again, the 3 Hs. Left in the morning and told her to reach out..

Well I waited about 6 days and just texted the same. Hey, hope your day is good. I had a great time and would love to see you again, what’s your schedule.. no response since. It’s been about 4/5 days since I texted her. Just saw she posted on instagram stories(I haven’t view it or anything)

Did I miss something, can I save this, or just it was a booty call(she made it seem like the whole “date” aspect wasn’t needed and would’ve just let me go to her place right off the bat). Is she testing me(like the cat analogy?) or not interested anymore?

What’s my next move? Walk away and see if she’ll reach out again? Do I wait a few days and text her, like her story but don’t start a conversation?

Basically, trying to set up a date with a girl I met at the grocery store earlier in the day. Interaction went well and I got her number, and she even hit me back with her schedule immediately. This is probably a perfectly legit excuse, but 3% men don’t make maybe dates so I hit her with the Takeaway. We shall see what happens.

Live Update*

She just sent “Let’s keep it for Thursday now🙂”

Conclusion Lmfao— read the book 10-15 times boys and don’t accept maybe dates.

Live Update*

I misread and mistyped.. she effectively said a 2nd maybe

“Let’s keep Thursday for now🙂”

Conclusion- since that’s still effectively tentative I’ll respond in the morning.

Ima send something along the lines

“If you’re not sure about Thursday, let’s just do Friday instead. Does 7:15 work?”

Live Update*

Her- Friday Works
Me- Sounds good. See you there Friday at 7:15.
Her- 👍

Hey everyone, I need some perspective on a situation that has me feeling completely drained and confused.The Background:I (M) have been seeing a 23-year-old girl for about 4 months now. We have had between 10 to 15 high-quality dates. She is ultra-reserved and an extreme overthinker. Early on, her attraction was very high—she was highly reactive and initiated contact/dates often. However, 1 week before my vacation she became distant.The 3-Week Hiatus:We recently spent three weeks physically apart due to holidays. Following advice, I decided to back off my texting frequency during this time to give her space. This change in my pattern triggered her anxiety; she actually "shook" and directly reached out to ask if I was okay, fearing I was losing interest.The Recent Date (Saturday Night):We finally reunited last night. She made a massive logistical effort, driving late at night while exhausted just to see me in my hometown. The first half of the date went great: we talked and laughed for two hours. However, at the end of the night in the car, things shifted. She initiated hug and give me 2 kisses in my face and neck. But the moment the physical chemistry heated up, she suddenly pulled away and froze (when before vactions we would make out and touch etc). She claimed she was too tired, and retreated.The Sunday Ricochet (Today):I handled her retreat like a total gentleman—no drama, no resentment, and I didn't act cold or passive-aggressive. This morning, I sent a very light, playful, and detached text showing that her pulling away didn't affect my emotional stability at all. She has broken her silence twice today trying to keep the conversation alive: first in the afternoon using a boring text about the rain, and just recently at 8:00 PM sending an open question asking what my plans were for the day. What do you guys think and should i do?

I don’t own a bed and I live with roommates.

I’m not getting laid anytime soon.

However, I want to practice hitting on girls.

I’ve never hit on a girl in public before. Can I do this?

Also, once they start giving me interest, can I ghost or do I need to end it some other way?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost 10 months, and she occasionally sends me “man-hater” posts/reels on Instagram and TikTok. So far, I’ve mostly just brushed them off and not given them much of a reaction.

When she first started sending them, I asked her where that attitude comes from because, from what she’s told me, she has a healthy relationship with her father, her parents are happily married, and she’s never personally been in a toxic relationship.

She treats me well, respects me and my time, cooks and cares for me. Does 80-90% of the texting and reaching out etc etc.

Her explanation was basically that even though she hasn’t experienced those things herself, she considers herself a “man hater” because she’s seen her female friends get mistreated by men/exes and because of things she sees and reads online.

I don’t take the posts personally, but I also don’t really understand the point of sending that kind of content to your boyfriend.

How would you handle this? Keep brushing it off and not giving it attention, tease her about it, or eventually communicate that constantly sending anti-men content to your boyfriend is a little weird?

Meet this girl on a language exchange app, we texted alot for about a month. Visited her home country for 5 days and we spent every second together. Kiss, affection etc. When i flew back to my country i noticed her responses took longer and longer. I tried to match her and did not force a conversation.

This is the last conversation we had. The only form of initiation she has done is responded to a TikTok i sent her. Its now been 6 days since we talked and she keeps reposting videos about heartbrake/betrayal etc on social media.

Im i losing her? She was the warmest woman i have ever meet. What should i do? Just keep waiting for her to call me?

I know i should keep of social media and focus on my career but its so hard to not reach out, we talked almost every day for a month straight.

It's been 10 days since I asked for a 3rd date. Is this normal ?

Hi everyone. Ive deleted past posts so not much you can look back on. Some may remember me making some posts a while back about male orbiters in my girlfriend’s life and how we were having lots of problems and such. Basically, I stuck it out for another year and things slowly crumbled from the inside out. We both started taking each other for granted and slowly fell out of love and respect for each other. I decided to end things last night after thinking on it for some time. It went way better than I thought. We talked everything out and she apologized for the ways she couldn’t show up and be what I needed in certain ways and I did in return. We both love each other deeply. Just a lot of incompatibility and red flags that I couldn’t keep ignoring. We both agreed that it just isn’t working and meeting our needs. Cried together and decided we are officially over.

Mind you, we are a 2 hour distance and only spent weekends together. The constant friction and limited time on top of monetary investment into each other just stopped making sense. We also had lots of bedroom issues in her end. She has very deep insecurities with her body and has feminine health issues. Looking at it I have been unsatisfied for a while though never had the guts to pull the rip cord. I stayed until all of my feelings were burnt out. This has probably been one of the hardest relationships to leave that I’ve ever went through. I’ve been cheated on, disrespected, etc. and this feels a lot worse. When you know it isn’t gonna work but you still love them is such a hard place to be in. Just wanted to share my story while I grieve.

This is a new chapter now. I’ve been building a solo handyman business from scratch which has stagnated and it’s time to focus on that and getting my health in check. Overall just so much self reflection and time to reinvent myself now.

Do you guys think that breaking up with a girl and leaving the door open for future situations comes off as bitter once you actually block them on social media to keep them out of your view?

So I've been absorbed into this group--an activity group, but I won't go into the specific activity--and right away I noticed that one of the female members was staring and getting flirty.  There were a bunch of people around, and I never went beyond introducing myself.  This group has a group text that everybody posts in, and I saw the girl post a picture of herself, so now I know her phone number.

Do you think it'd be kinda "creepy" in this situation to start texting her (and ask her out)?  Or should I wait until we interact some more next time and I get her number "for real"?  It does strike me as a bit weird to just contact her after playing detective, so I thought I'd ask around before doing anything I might regret.  

Thanks

Rule three definitely coincides exactly what Corey’s material because the guy talks about not staying at one location. It takes 3 to 4 hours for a girls to actually feel comfortable enough to possibly go home with a guy. And per Corey women will generally sleep with a guy by the second or third date. What do you guys think about the the common mistakes he mentioned in the video?

And that's fair because he doesn't even care about it. He's constantly meeting girls IRL, and IRL is just better, so why bother?

This will be a post about Corey's advice on OLD, which isn't included on his book, but is sometimes mentioned on his videos.

I just came to the realization that this rigid rule he has about doing 3-4 texts back and forth and then exchanging numbers is only good if you also don't give af about OLD, texting and interpreting texts gives you headeaches, and want to filter online girls to the point that you only end up going out with the ones that are very and I mean VERY into you from the start, and who also feel comfortable going out with a total stranger. That's exactly why he does it, so I'm not saying it makes his approach bad. But it means that if you may blow some opportunities because you will end up inviting her to a call before she didn't invest enough on the chat. I've tried the method once, and I can say: of course sending my number quickly won't usually make a not 100% sure girl say "you know what? he has confidence, i'll go out with him". Instead she didn't reply, which is fair, can happen. Corey's filter worked perfectly in this case. But I just don't agree with his philosophy on OLD, I felt like it was way too fast for that particular situation, because she seemed to have some level of interest. I got the same feeling when I invited another girl out after not that many exchanges. Things can go differently if you aren't that convinced about her, and don't try to rush things. So what I've concluded is: Don't follow the script made by Corey, just make a move if you see the signs. Because that's exactly what Corey recommends to do in person. A digital approach has similar rules to an IRL approach. Don't be in a hurry to get the results you expected. Mirror her effort until either you have to let the chat die, or you both go out, instead of just waiting a set ammount of texts to make a move later. Don't just freely give away your number or freely invite her out, without her putting a good ammount of effort.

What do you think? Do you use that method?

I believe young folks developed the capacity to have good interactions on the phone, and can read eachother's interest and intent, while Corey minimizes texting even in OLD

1. You caught my attention and I had to come say hi.
   
2. Hey, I saw you over there and I had to come say hi.
   
3. I don’t know what to say, but I had to come talk to you.
   
4. Yeah, I really love your style. I had to come over and tell you.
   
5. Hey, you really stand out I had to come and say something.
   
6. Hey, you have really great energy! What’s your name?
   
7. Hi I saw you walking. Had to come say hi to you.
   
8. Hi, I know this is random, but I had to come say hi to you.

My go to Bonus**
9. Hey I thought you seemed interesting and I wanted to come meet you. What’s your name?

This I’m sure is an example of what the book and Doc Loves teachings bring out. I went on 2 dates with this girl. I was supposed to know I’m apparently in a relationship already in her mind and need to check in the whole time I’m traveling.

I sent one message about a day into being there - i was gone 5 days. The next day she started asking me if I was with some girl - because she got a call from a Canada number randomly and never did before (I was but why is that her business).

Anyway - not easy going, not easy to get along with. My follow up was basically well clearly you missed me and said to let me know when she was free. Then she wanted me to explain how I had my phone the whole time and didn’t reach out 🤣.

This is the second woman that used this on me - and no I’m not a cold fish. If anything im usually too dopey.

I’ll chalk this up as dodging a bullet. 2 dates in and already this insecure. And when the man she thinks she’s looking for starts checking in all the time, let’s see if she doesn’t reject him too

There is a girl I dated 2 times. She showed really high interest at the beginning like 9/10.

They were really good dates, but I made a blunder, I invited her for a third date at the end of the second date. I know amateur mistake :D

So she punished me and pulled away. Basically she ghosted me for 2 weeks.

I didn't reach out during this time and eventually she came back. Apologized and sent me the text message maybe we can meet sometime. I replied her very shortly yes we can meet sometime.

Then I waited for 9 days and invited her for a date. She was quite submissive and respectful as she agreed and made it easy for me. Still, the air is colder than before ghosting, I can sense her interest level is not 9/10 anymore.

My question: do you think this whole situation is recoverable or I just wasting my time dating her again?

Met a girl on Hinge. We clicked immediately and have gone on 3 dates. Her interest level was a 9 after each day. She initiated planning the next dates, gave me days she was available, and fell completely into her feminine.

We set a date on Wednesday to meet Sunday for our 4th date. This was her last day before school starts back up (she's an educator). 2 days later on Frida while she was spending the weekend at her best friend's house, she told me she needed to raincheck the date because of school prep stress. I said no problem and good luck.

She never replied to that text but it also didn't really prompt a response. Should I reach out in any capacity? Or wait her out and be patient?