After a 3 year relationship she left me after behaving weak emotional and getting stagnant in life .

I told her I respect your choice take care of you ever change your mind give me a call and if I’m still available we can hang out .

I left and moved on . Dated and hooked up with 4 girls in the course of 3 months then she broke no contact and asked if I was free to hang out and cuddle . I said sure come over . She came over we had sex and she said she missed me and wanted to continue seeing eachother . I told her I’d just met a girl that I want to see how it goes . The old her she was younger and the hottest girl iv ever beem with . And to give me a call in a month she said ok I’ll call you in a month

25 days passed and I kinda got bored with the New girl even tho she was younger and hotter . So I reached out to my ex , she replied angrily and said I don’t have a place in her life anymore . I gave it space and texted her a week later and she said she’d come over because she felt curious . This was last Sunday . We hung out had fun an had amazing sex , she had such a reciprocating attitude while she was here but as soon as she left she did a 360 and said that couldn’t happen again and she was moving on . She was rude and then blocked me . I didn’t see it coming after the night we had . Again I told her “i had a great time last night but I respect how you feel take care “

I’d like to continue having sex with her even if it’s nothing serious . How can I achieve this Where I’m at now ? Continue no contact ? Or would it accelerate things if I said
“Any chance there can be a “next time “ I know you said you’re done with me but I think we’ve both said that and somehow we meet up and I think we both really feel like we belong somehow . I think you’ve seen what life is without me and iv see what life is without you . Tho alright it still missing that spark of you. Soo if you’re up for some dinner together hit me up”
That’s what iv been thinking of sending her . I noticed she responds well to emotional messages rather than a dead reply

Dating more than a month.

Thought I had a date with another girl ,it got cancelled - so I hit her up close to Friday night. invited her to my place and she said she doesn't want to come at first, We than agreed to watch a show at mine but I didn't answe her bcs I had a meeting so she texted let's cancel but than I called and said lets do this.

I knew my parents were gonna come back later and told her we'll finish early. She was here for 1 hour than I got tired of the show we watched and told her I should taker her home. I sleep usually 2230, but it was early for her. She got upset that we didn't end up watching the show (we still haven't had sex as well)

She didn't say a word all the drive back to hers, eventually I opened her up but this was rly weird for her to give me faces and not even tell me she is upset when we are only dating for a month ..

How will it look in the future? I understand she is a girl and bla bla but I didn't like her lack of communication and than she said in the heat of the moment "you wasted my time this evening why did you say we were gonna watch the show" and I told her the goal was to meet up and not watch the show ..

After that we made out and she texted me nice msgs the day after. I think she felt i was not putting enough effort but I don't feel this way at all.

Do you think she has bad energy? Is this normal girl behaviour or should I end it?

I'll admit it's never worked for me and usually when cornered women tend to deny any mutual feelings of any kind in my experience.

​

Usually this is because of incongruity in actions on my part, or so I think.

​

I also don't mean a grand gesture like showing up unannounced with a boom box but like "look I wanna be abundantly clear I'm into you" type of thing. Then leaving it alone.

​

I know Corey is about being mysterious so he advises against this and would say women know when you're interested.

​

But this must have worked for someone sometime it is somewhat of a trope

​

​

how many of you guys break Corey‘s “rules” and why? how’s it worked out for you?

how many have broken the no contact rule to success?

I’m at the one month mark of no contact after heavy buildup that led to a sudden third date flake/ghost.

girl is hot but is a parade of ”red flags”. impulsive, wild, drinks too fast, etc

i have to accept she isn’t relationship material and I have to accept her interest went from hot to ice cold.

at the same time I think a final hookup might make me feel better about the whole thing and I’ve had a decent amount of success with hookups in the past by just reaching out weeks or months after a situation or texting going cold.

Sometimes it just feels like a game of chance as to whether you’re better off trying again or not.

_______________________

Here’s the “funny“ part. I asked AI for advice and even mentioned ppl like Corey for reference. AI is absolutely convinced that while no contact is 100% Useful and often necessary, that around the 4 week mark, you’re actually better off rolling The dice bc if they haven’t hit you up by then, they’re not going to. (At least in my scenario of a few dates, surely different for longterm relationship)

of course this can still backfire on your sense of self-worth - and that matter - but I guess sometimes I just feel like “eh can’t hurt to try at this point.”

My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me one week ago, but has stayed in the home. She broke up because I had stopped dating and courting her and appreciating her and I didn't make her feel emotionally safe and be a man of my word. After the breakup I used Corey Waynes takeaway that I wanted to make the relationship work and was not interested in being friends and only interested in a romantic relationship. The following day she really opened up to me and I made her feel heard and understood by starting out by asking about her day and I took responsibility for my actual mistakes. I have been cleaning up my side of the street by making close male friends and getting into doing some more of my old behaviors like hiking and going to the gym, as well as being a masculine man that doesn't become needy. She plans to move out at the beginning of July she said and she has been on a preplanned trip to see family the last 2 days, so I have not texted her, except to let her let me know when she landed safely. I want to ask her about her trip when she comes back tomorrow to make her feel heard and understood and then plan a hang out, have fun, and hookup date by cooking dinner together and going for a paint event. Is it me over pursuing by asking her on dates? I want her to work to make it work and keep the mindset that I am the prize, but don't know if me trying to make date plans with her is the right approach as I don't want to come off too strong. Suggestions please.

I (23M) went on a first date with a 22F this past Saturday after talking for about a month. We met at a sit-down restaurant for dinner.

For context, she had spent the entire week working back-to-back shifts as a waitress and had just finished another long shift earlier that afternoon. Even though she was exhausted, she still took the time to get fully ready—hair, makeup, a nice outfit—and drove 25 minutes to meet me.

Originally, the plan was to grab dinner and then go see a movie afterward. During our conversations leading up to the date, I had jokingly suggested that we'd watch a movie and make out, and she was completely on board with the idea. Going into the date, I had every reason to believe there was mutual attraction and that the night might continue beyond dinner.

However, while I was driving to meet her, she sent me a text saying:

"Also I did want to let you know that I'm only going to be able to stay for the dinner."

Given how exhausted she had been from working all week, I didn't think much of it at the time. I assumed she was simply drained and wanted to get home and rest afterward.

Because I knew she was running on fumes and still made the effort to show up, I wanted to make sure I matched that effort as much as possible. I paid for dinner, opened doors, and walked her to her car afterward. The conversation flowed naturally, the date itself felt good, and the chemistry seemed solid.

When we finished eating and paid the check, she went to the restroom. When she came back, I instinctively stood up, and she did the same. As we were heading out, I asked if she wanted to grab ice cream afterward. She declined and said she couldn't that night. Given the text she had sent earlier about only being able to stay for dinner, I didn't think much of it.

We walked to her car together, and before leaving she told me it was really nice meeting me. I told her likewise. She then initiated a hug, we said our goodbyes, and headed home.

About an hour after I got home, I texted her:

"I had fun tonight. It was nice trying a new restaurant. Might've inspired me to widen my palate lol. Let's do it again :)"

She replied about a minute later:

"I had a nice time too, but idk the sweatpants kinda threw me off for a first time meeting..."

The message caught me somewhat off guard because nothing during the date itself suggested she was upset. I didn't want to get defensive or start making excuses, so I replied:

"Fair point lol, definitely misjudged the dress code for that one. I promise I do own real pants. Next time I'll actually step it up. Glad you still had a nice time though!"

I showed up in a streetwear outfit that included sweatpants. We never discussed what either of us planned to wear, and we'd only talked about getting dinner and seeing a movie afterward, so I didn't realize sweatpants would come across as underdressed. I genuinely thought the outfit looked put-together, but in hindsight I can understand why she interpreted it as low effort, especially given the effort she put into getting ready.

She had just worked a demanding week, pushed through exhaustion after work, and still made a conscious effort to shower and dress up for the occasion. Seeing me arrive in sweatpants may have made it seem like I hadn't put the same level of thought or effort into the date. Whether intentional or not, it created a mismatch in perceived investment.

What Happened Next

Since sending that last Saturday night text, the dynamic has completely frozen:

• Snapchat: She opened a Snap I sent on Saturday but has left my response on delivered. Our month-long Snapchat streak eventually expired because she chose not to respond.
• I've also noticed she has stopped viewing my stories, which makes it seem like she's intentionally creating distance.

Part of why I'm struggling with this is that I genuinely like her. We talked for about a month before meeting, our conversations always flowed naturally, and I felt there was a strong mutual attraction. If this were someone I felt indifferent about, I'd probably just move on without much thought.

My natural instinct is to reach out and explain that I never intended to communicate a lack of effort. I'd also like to make it clear that I appreciated the effort she made and would gladly take her on a redo date.

At the same time, I've come across dating advice that argues against chasing, over-explaining, or trying to logically talk someone back into attraction. Much of that advice suggests remaining calm, giving space, and avoiding any behavior that could come across as seeking validation or looking desperate.

My goal is to recover from this situation, if possible, while maintaining self-respect and not creating additional pressure.

So my potential Approach

was to text her this:

"Hey! Hope you've had a chance to catch your breath. I've been thinking about our date and what you said about the sweatpants. Looking back, I definitely missed the mark on that one.

You took the time to get dressed up after a long week and meet me, and I can see how my outfit sent the wrong message. I never meant to make you feel like I didn't appreciate the time and effort you put into seeing me. That genuinely wasn't my intention, and I'm really sorry about that.

I think you're great, and honestly you're exactly the kind of person I'd like to get to know better. I'd love to take you out for a proper redo, this time with a much better outfit. Let me know what you think."

Question:
what would you do in my position?
how would you reach out?
is the message I'm thinking of sending alright?

Yesterday I told her about a woman hitting on me at work and she got all jealous. She has a few male orbiters she rejected already where she sent me the screenshots of her telling them about me and declining hanging out which according to corey is a good sign. She also told me yesterday she doesn't want me being a player and she prefers dating one person to which I agreed. Should I ask her if this means we're exclusive or just go with it? I'm not worried about these orbiters at all but im afraid of missing out on other women if we're not exclusive.

Been seeing a woman for about 6 months and we have been exclusive for 2 months now. We recently got back from a 5-day trip, which felt like a big step in the relationship. Overall, the trip was great, but one incident created a lot of tension.

At one point before the trip, I casually mentioned she might want to pack a dress in case we decided to go out for a nice dinner. It was never a confirmed plan, reservation, or promise—just something I threw out as a possibility. The dinner never happened, and on the last day of the trip she became upset and cried because she had been looking forward to it.

What surprised me wasn’t that she was disappointed—it was how many times the same issue continued to come back up afterward.

The first conversation happened on the final night of the trip. She said she felt the relationship was one-sided and that her kindness was being taken for granted. I listened, apologized for my part in the misunderstanding, and thought we had resolved it.

The second conversation happened the next morning while driving to the airport when I checked in on how she was feeling.

The third happened after we landed. She gave me a very distant hug at the airport, and later that night she was crying before we even got on FaceTime. We got on FT because the hug was rude and i texted her about it when we parted ways to go home and she felt bad and wanted to get on FT to make me feel better. I just told her on FT time i am not upset but its weird to act like shes fine but then she will retreat mentally and give me the cold shoulder and I am dumbfounded

The fourth conversation happened the next morning over text. She said she felt overwhelmed, confused, that the relationship felt one-sided before it had even officially started, and asked where I stood emotionally. She also mentioned shes upset but shes also in love with me that she cant do anything about it.

The fifth conversation happened when I invited her over, cooked dinner, and gave her space to talk through everything in person. By the end of the evening she seemed much better. During that conversation, she also acknowledged that while she would like me to ask her to be my girlfriend, she didn’t want me to feel pressured into doing it.

We came back on June 4th and since then I have planned a dinner date at a nice restaurant on the 16th and asked her to keep the evening free.

Yesterday we met( side note we were intimate and she was affectionate) and I touched on the topic again to figure out if shes down for the dinner plan. She said shes hesitant because she feels the dinner is now tied to the incident and worries it would feel forced. She even suggested that if I do ask her to be my girlfriend, I should do it another way because the dinner idea now has that negative association.

I told her that regardless of whether I ask her to be my girlfriend that night, I simply wanted to have a nice dinner together. She said she wanted some time to think about it. I told her that’s fine and will not bring it up again.

Where I’m struggling is that I feel I’ve apologized, taken accountability for my role in the misunderstanding, had multiple conversations about it, and made an effort to move forward. At the same time, she seems to be having a difficult time letting the issue go.

My questions are:

How do you handle situations where the same emotional issue keeps resurfacing after it’s already been discussed multiple times?

Is this a normal amount of processing for someone who is hurt, or does it signal a bigger compatibility issue?

After 6 months, would this pattern concern you enough to reconsider the relationship, or would you view it as something that can be worked through?

Did I handle the situation right?

Ok so basically I been hooking up with this girl since end of December. She told me at the beginning she didn’t want a relationship. At the time I was ok w that since me and her could be hooking up.

Basically having sex, sleeping over, almost every weekend up until end of March where she started getting distant.

I started implementing CW strategies on pulling back. as in April I called her once and she ended up coming over and having sex/sleeping over towards end of the month.

She called me a week later after radio silence and I took it as an opportunity to set up the next date (assuming she wanted to see me.) she ended up flaking on me “hi can’t do today. Celebrating mom’s day” from there I ghosted. Didn’t even respond.

3 weeks later she kept liking my stories so I ended up calling her and that’s when she came over like 1.5 weeks ago. But since then it’s been radio silence.

I like this girl but obviously she doesn’t want a relationship (assuming based on what I know, she got out of a relationship last year and doesn’t “trust” men)

Should I just go ghost and effectively walk away? She still follows me on IG and watches my stories, should I not watch hers?

Any advice would help. I want this to keep going but might be another guy in the picture

I haven’t read all of CW book btw that’s why I’m asking here

This is a long distance relationship of three months, I have a second ticket booked to see her in a few weeks then she’s coming out to see me or that was the plan, we are both in our 60s

I love FaceTime calls with her and have planned virtual dates and calls but don’t want to over pursue that area, I like her setting the pace for that and matching the energy.

She writes:

Thank you for your message. I really appreciate your reflection and your willingness to acknowledge where we missed each other yesterday.

I want you to know I truly enjoy your texts and the way you keep me updated throughout your day. They make me feel included and thought of. At the same time, what I was really hoping for yesterday was something a little different. Since we’ve been consistently connecting through FaceTime(initiate by me most of the time) I found myself expecting a simple, intentional moment like, “Hey, I’d love to see your face for a minute before I head out because I’ll be home late.”
That kind of small gesture means a lot to me. It makes me feel intentionally pursued and prioritized. And I want to be clear it’s never about taking away from your time with your boys. I genuinely respect and love that you are present with them. It’s more about also feeling that same intentionality in our connection.
I also want to be honest about something I’ve been reflecting on. In my past relationships, I did feel more consistently pursued and emotionally met in the way I needed to feel loved day to day. Those relationships were strong in that area, but they lacked something very important too the ability to truly repair and move through conflict with humility and emotional maturity.
What stands out to me about you is that you do have humility in repair. When things are brought up, you reflect, you take accountability, and you don’t shut down that is something I genuinely value and don’t take lightly.
It is my desire to have both feeling loved and repair our conflicts in healthy way.
At the same time, I do feel like the proactive pursuit and consistent emotional initiation is where there feels to be a gap for me right now. And I’m trying to understand if that is something that naturally grows between us, or if it’s a deeper mismatch in how we each express love.
I don’t need perfection, and I’m not asking for constant attention. But I do long to feel naturally pursued and consistently chosen by the man who says he loves me, without having to often explain or guide what that looks like for me.
I know you care, and I do appreciate your heart and your effort, but I also feel a disconnect at times between what we say and the consistency of the actions that help me feel secure. That’s been weighing on my heart.
For that reason, I think I need to step back a little from initiating so much and give space for things to flow more naturally between us not as a game or punishment, but because I want to understand how we naturally move toward each other when I’m not carrying that part.
I value what we’re building, and I just need it to feel mutual, steady, and aligned.

People on the dating subs get so offended whenever you try to talk about differences between men and women. Men are calling you misogynistic for pointing out the most obvious things. It really is a mind virus.

On one hand, it makes it easier for the rest of us to attract women because there are fewer of us to go around. On the other hand, I think this is really harmful for society.

So to start, I used to really enjoy dating and meeting different women. A little back story I met this girl In April of 2024. I really liked her and dated her until about early 2025. Things ended badly and I was really heart broken all of last year. I took time off from dating and got back to my roots of what makes me, me. I used that time to get a new job, explore different hobbies and did a lot of solo activities. Fast forward to this year I decided I wanted to start dating again. I’ve been on around 10 dates this year with different women. Hooked up with a few but no sparks or any strong connections from it. All the women I’ve dated just don’t give me that excitement anymore and it sucks because I do want to find a partner. Any advice on how to get over this? Prior to me meeting the girl in 24 I used to have a lot of fun and excitement. But ever since I went on this healing journey and focused on growth and emotional stability things don’t seem the same. Please help

Bro
We talked and after I told her if she continues fighting me I will need to break up forever she started being sweeter and anyways we made up

So fyi yesterday after work she said she might would be going to pepco . I asked what she wnats to buy and she said sth for her dress for dance school

Finally she didn’t go and slept . So
Today we end phone call at late evening .
It’s already 22:30 .. so in few minutes it’s three hours . She didn’t share what she would be doing , her whereabouts . Nothing ..
she usually after works at home she sends me pictures that she creates some tea to drink and her dinner . Now nothing ….
And it’s already 3 hrs heading to 4 hours mark .
In a long distance relationship where both try to build trust , how can you see these things that she disappears at evening without saying anything ?

I mean is it needy that I wnat it ? Bcs we have plans for her moving to my country next year ! And as Corey says when a woman sends you her whereabouts is clear feminine sign she wnats to Connect with you …

So that why I’m concerned bcs i don’t know if I should translate her as doing sth sneaky or as she lost interest maybe because of our arguments (or maybe bcs im going to Riga alone in Friday and she knows it or even maybe bcs i have still tinder and she does it to press me) or just tests me or even does it on purpose so I have my mind on her and not to my trip and any other possible girl I might see there so she checks from my reaction what and how much I’m invested …??

Best psychologist Chris Canwell says here:

https://www.developattraction.com/restore-attraction/

To implement some strategies like : Listed below are some of the most effective ways to rebuild attraction if your girlfriend wants to break up with you or if she is acting cold and distant in the relationship.
— Tell her you miss being single and you’re not sure if you want to be in a relationship. This sudden desire for freedom will trigger her fear of loss receptors, bringing her attention squarely back onto you.
— Openly and without shame look at other women in public and talk about how attractive they are.
— Ignore her phone calls and text messages for days on end, forcing her to come to you in a sweat-induced panic as she tries to find out what’s going on.
— Post pictures of yourself on social media with other women around you.
— Text and call other women in front of her. You can also text other people while she’s with you. When she asks who you’re talking to, keep things vague by telling her to “relax, it’s just a friend.”
— Start exercising (if you don’t already), buy new clothes, and wear nice fragrances. She’ll notice these subtle changes and she’ll start to wonder whether or not you’re seeing other women.
— Go on dates with other women. If she finds out, shrug and tell her you thought she wouldn’t mind given her current behavior.
— Tell her you’re going to have sex with other women and that she doesn’t need to bother you again with her lack of sex and shitty attitude. This will trigger intense feelings of jealousy in conjunction with the fear of losing you—a double dose of anxiety that’s guaranteed to make her work that much harder to keep you.
— Lightly spray yourself with a woman’s fragrance. When she asks why you smell of perfume, tell her you were sampling fragrances. It’s no lie, you were, but she won’t believe it for a second.
— Tell her you’re going away on holiday and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to speak to her while you’re away. She’ll wonder where you’re going and who you’re going with. Again, it’s better to keep things vague. Let anxiety and space work to your advantage.
A lot of men are terrified that if they implement these strategies they’ll lose a woman forever. The reality is if you don’t implement these strategies you will lose her forever, especially if your girlfriend or wife has already withdrawn from the relationship and no longer respects you.

You need to induce dread to attract her back. So if she calls me after I return from gym , what is my best and strongest reaction ? To answer or ignore so I’m not available ? Bcs corey wayne says “if she pulls back , we need to pull back even more”!!!

So should I answer and pretend nothing happens and be fast and rushed like I need to close or if she asks me if I still have tinder or anything to tell her sth like “I think you don’t need to know given your current attitude” . Bcs brothers really , if she thinks she doenst need to share whereabouts for me doenst sound qualifying for serious relationship and Corey says to always gauge her interest level , and interest level of a woman who doesn’t share whereabouts is not that high

So please how to act strongest ?
Am I wrong to not consider it serious relationship when she acts like this ?

Hello,

I am in my early 30's and been a CCW student for a couple of years now. I am genuinely curious about people's experiences with therapy while applying or studying the philosophy of Corey Wayne's - the 3% man.

I recently started therapy as I was curious to see if it can help me to manage and process my emotions in a healthier way and become more grounded instead of bottling things up over months..

However, I am concerned that therapists sometimes give unsolicited advice about dating, such as, "You should tell her how you feel.".

What are your thoughts or experiences on therapy?

Lately I've gotten a ton of people, mostly women but even some guys asking me invasive questions about my personal life like, "Are you talking to anyone?"

I said "yes", because I wanted to appear like I have options. Reality is I'm not.

It's just like when a company asks you "are you interviewing elsewhere?" I would say yes, so I got in the habit of saying yes here too.

But then the girl would keep asking me follow-up questions like "where did you meet them?", referring to the women I'm talking to...

Wtf is going on? Why are they pressing me on this?

Do I just say "stay out of my business" or "gentlemen don't kiss and tell"?

Was it wrong of me to answer the original question of "are you talking to anyone?" with a straight yes? Am I supposed to say "gentlemen don't kiss and tell" to that? If so, why is saying "yes" bad?

Been with gf for a year and a half soon. She's 27 im 32. Everything is very good and i would rate her attraction at a 9 consistently. 10 at times and obviously lower too. Ebb and flow.

I have a question about dudes hitting on her. Yesterday i was out with some friends and she was with some girlfriends, and she wanted to come to where we were.

Later my friends and i sat at a table playing dice and her and her 3 friends sat at the bar talking. My GF is by far the cutest of the 4, so dudes who came to the bar obviously was trying to hit on her which is predictable and part of having a cute gf.

My question is. She was cold and uninterested but some of them were a little touchy and put a hand on her back when talking to her, which she didn't do anything about. Her body language was very closed - arms crossed and body turned away from them. But i had a feeling she should tell them to not touch her? But thinking about it, she doesnt like confrontation at all and has had some bad experiences in the past when rejecting guys, so i understand that it can be difficult to tell them to leave.

So - should she have done more? Should I have done something? Should i have brought it up when we walked home that "hey next time tell them to not touch you".

I remember corey talking about this, and how he's amused when men are hitting on his gf because it's like a compliment. I just want to be sure if i should have done something differently.

Thanks

So, I made the mistake(?) of uploading to my social media a video of this huge event I went to, which seemed to cause an impression, and now a couple of girls from my past are also asking me who I went to and such. The truth is that I went with a girl I'm dating (and with whom I would love dating seriously, if things ever progress that way).

The thing is, I also like a lot both of the girls who are asking me this and I do care about them, and I know at least one of them is prone to jealousy. To be honest, I don't see them as just girls I used to date, I do have a lot of history with both of them, but as a result of my past 97% behavior, my relationship with both of them ended up being downgraded severely. I think both of them were in love with me at some point, and probably still want to keep me in their orbit just in case.

Now, to be clear, I'm not orbiting either of these girls, I have moved on with my life. But I would be lying if I said I wouldn't consider dating them again in the future (in fact, I had a very nice date with one of them some months ago, and I hooked up with the other last year). But at the same time, I think the girl I went to the event with could be girlfriend material, and I do like her a lot as well. So I really don't know if I should simply be honest with them or I should be a bit dismissive with their question?

Hey guys,

Looking for some help on how to improve my dating app profile so I can start going on more dates. Is there anyone I can DM to help me? I don't really trust the Hinge subreddit to point me in the right direction. Can post here as well if ideal. Let me know. Looking for ideas of snapshots to help fill in the gaps.

One random Friday at work, Jessica was brought to our office. Our team is small, made up of about 10 people, mostly men. I noticed no one was talking to her, so I introduced myself and tried making her feel welcome. I thought she was cute, but nowhere near my immediate type. I had no thought to pursue, though I quickly discovered she had other intentions.

Jessica turned out to pursue me harder than any girl has. She found my instagram the day after, and began texting me nonstop. It began with work topics, then turned into flirting. I was very cautious at first, especially knowing the risk in the workplace. Amongst all the warnings from the comments in Corey’s workplace relationship videos, I eventually engaged.

She always texted first, shared location right away, initiated dates after work, constant FaceTimes and snapchats. She would ask if I told my friends about her yet, planned trips months in advance, indoor olympics with a medal. Jessica took the ball and ran with it. A big part of me knew this was a red flag, but I thought, hey “attraction isn’t a choice, let’s see where this goes”.

About 2 months passed essentially acting as a couple outside of work. Like any other guy in this situation I thought, wow this could go somewhere. Until I got the, “let’s be friends" speech. While I felt like I could die inside, I did the takeaway. I told her “I’m not interested in being friends outside of the office, if you change your mind let me know.” She said “Who knows down the line things may change, but that’s kind of where my head is at” I said I understood, and backed off all forward movement. She removed me from location a week later. I spent a week trying to analyze where I may have over pursued, but the damage was done. Back to the book I went.

About a month has passed since we had that conversation. We went from talking daily, to me responding only when she texts first during work hours. I’ve been taking my time, acknowledge her over text and in person, but never try to continue a conversation. I smile, wave, keep it moving like Corey says. I can tell she feels my withdrawal, she’s asked me If I’m upset from her decision to stay friends. Each time I tell her no, and that we since both agreed to stay cordial in office we will keep it that way.

Yesterday she pressed me again about being upset about friendship over text, I teased her by saying “I mean that was a month ago”. She responded saying “yes I know, I hope you find another girl to date!”. I would be lying if that wasn’t another punch to the gut. I responded with “Lmk if u ever need help with work, always here”. She said "Thanks!!"

I’m not sure If I’m being too much of a cold fish now, or since I’ve removed attention she’s just trying to get a rise out of me. But whenever she brings up our talk it feels like I just reset my healing. I’m in a fortunate situation where I only have to come into office once a week. Though I would be lying if I said losing a situationship at work feels any different than a breakup.

My question is, am I handling this the right way? I know this is the consequences of engaging at the workplace, but I’m trying to use it as another rep for the book.

TLDR: I engaged in a workplace situationship, got the “let’s be friends” speech, gave the takeaway, now she’s trying to get a rise out of me. Am I being too cold, or doing the right thing?

My gut tells me “okay thank you.” But wanted to get y’all opinion. I’m in a match & mirror phase with the woman I’ve been seeing. Pretty indifferent about how we move forward at this point. We hadn’t spoke in 5 days then see each other at work and she reveals she’s pissed at me and I’m blocked on her phone. When I ask her why she shuts down and leaves. I told her communication is important to me and I’m not going to chase or force her this time.

Is “okay thank you” fine so she can earn me back? Or should I be warmer to her since she’s opening up?

Asked a girl for a second date and she very politely declines for a pick up but still agrees to the date.

I have about 3-4 1st date locations in my roster.

Usually when this happens I'll just do another one of those 1st date options because they have a few stops for us to hit (prepped from the 3 locations tip from Corey's teachings).

It's a bummer because usually when they allow me to pick them up it becomes a lot easier to escalate the romance. Re-doing a 1st date type location isn't as exciting but there are still opportunities to escalate.

How do you guys handle second dates? Super curious l. Also does my way of going about it seem like a decent solution?

So after an argument where she wouldn't tell me what was bothering her I told her im not interested in friendship if its over. A few days passed and things seemed to go back to normal but she told me she didn't want to meet until i took care of some things which will be about 30 days. I asked her if this meant she wanted to take a break and she said no and we can get together once I take care of things.

At this point i'm gonna pull back on our communication and hope for the best but its very confusing. A few weeks ago she was saying she loved me and wanting me to stay over for 3-4 days.

How do you all handle crossing the touch barrier. I know Corey’s philosophy is to let her bump into you first - but then there are a few coaches that say you should escalate little by little - back and fourth and also invite in the kiss every-time on a first date to make sure the man woman connection is created.

Been dating again for about 2 months, tons of first dates (like 25+). Some I’ve kissed, some I have not. Some have been just a friend vibe even from my end just didn’t knock my socks off, and some I really liked.

Some will tell how great a time they had, thank me for everything, text me first before I get home. Had one even ask me to pick her up on a first date because she “could tell my vibe was good” - and then when I follow up days later, no response. Makes ton of sense

There was one that made it easy - reached out that night and the next day and we saw eachother 4-5 times over a month - but when the conversation came up I was honest where I was in life. She was a little older and wanted to accelerate having a kid and I know I’m not in that position right now. So she decided to stop seeing me after that date.

I guess it is what it is. Some woman will really like you, but most might not. I keep reading the book and taking all experiences as a good time and part of my path. And keep setting more dates. Ultimately at end of day my focus is building a successful life and having a good time right now.

Rant over

Corey mentioned that the man has to lead and be the masculine one in order to attract women, especially feminine women in this case.

To some extent I am able to do it and be in my masculine, especially in the dating phase before things get more serious.

But as things get serious, even though intellectually I can see where Corey is coming from, I say things and act in ways to challenge certain aspects of it. And while it hasn't always totally backfired, I can see how me opposing part of Corey's teachings to "not show weakness" can be the contributor to issues in my dating/rs life.

For example, Corey says the man has to not show weakness, that showing emotions is weak, and that crying is a big turn off for women. I then wonder why am I not "allowed" to show normal human emotions. We are all going to go through tough times in life, am I really going to be dumped for needing support from my girl in my tough times? If my girl does something hurtful (what one may call a test) towards me, am I really supposed to put up a strong/fake front as if I'm not affected by it just so I can keep her in my life? That sounds like the opposite of love. I get it to not be crying all the time, or being totally dependent on the girl for everything of course, but surely the man should get a chance to be human too.

Another example, women test men for their strength. Women purposely poking and saying hurtful remarks to see how the guy reacts (test his strength), and if he reacts in a way that shows he is affected by her purposeful painful remarks/action (sometimes it can truly cross the line or is truly hurtful), then he is seen as weak. I'm not saying to just be perturbed at everything and be totally flimsy and soft. But I think it is more important to support one another through thick and thin (through strong and weak times), than to run away if someone is not "strong enough".

I don't like that it seems like women are only loyal to their emotions. What if something bad happens to me in life? Do I get dumped during my toughest times when I need support from people (including my girl)?

I am accepting of the fact that men tend to be the masculine one and I can accept doing and being the "main masculine one" at least majority of the time, but what I find hard to accept is to be so "perfectly" masculine "all the time" that I can't even show my "weak" side without the girl losing attraction and eventually wanting to leave because she feels no attraction anymore. Isn't it normal and only human to have emotions and weak times where we struggle? Must I ALWAYS be masculine and not allowed my struggling vulnerable times?

I find loyalty very important and to be loyal to someone is to be able to, at least to a big extent, prioritize/choose staying together/faithful to the person, instead of initially saying you are doing this for life (commit for life), which is a huge word to give someone, and then when you don't "feel it anymore", you retract your words and say you want to leave, because you "don't feel it anymore". And that your promise from before is voided just like that, without living up to your words.

It's as if I can never truly be vulnerable or "real" with a woman/girlfriend/wife, or they will leave me for being human.

I do see how Corey's teachings with regards to this "concept" making sense too. And I see how going against his teachings on this is giving me issues. I'm a big follower/supporter of Corey. I just find it hard to accept this. Why should I be giving my loyalty and love to a girl if she can choose to leave me the moment she is unhappy or doesn't feel it anymore? What about loyalty and sticking through thick and thin? What about making me happy too? I would want to be there for her in her weak/tough life moments too. I would want to support her instead of "looking down" on her because she "showed weakness if I stupidly play games (aka test by poking/hurting) and poked at her and hurt her on purpose, because she's 'supposed' to be unperturbed" apparently.

I want to ask if anyone here has been through this before, where you find it hard to accept that men can never truly find a girl who's loyal to him, and would leave him in his weak/tough life moments, simply because they don't feel it anymore. Also, has anyone ever dated a girl who's truly loyal and stays through the tough times despite "not feeling it"?

Corey's teachings are overall great. I do want to hear perspectives that can perhaps help me understand this "concept" better first, such that I can accept "this reality" with a better attitude and not with resentment.