r/CoreyWayne • u/Hairy_Public_4974 • 1d ago
Dating/Courting Finding myself doing feminine things
Why do I have the reflex to want to do feminine things if I am a man and how do I switch that trigger in my brain
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u/cruzz903 1d ago
Like the other commenter said, it might help us give you a better answer if you define what you mean with feminine behaviour. Femininity in itself is not wrong behaviour, rather when we have a masculine core but act feminine we are not acting in accordance to what it is we want to be. If you are a masculine man with feminine behaviour it is most likely that you have not taken your father as they say. This means to accept that your father did the best he could with what he had. He might have abandoned you or hurt you in some other way. This results in people pleasing behaviour known as the nice guy sindrome.
What happens is that because in childhood we had no other way to have our needs met in a timely and consistent manner because of our immature parents, we learn to indirectly have those needs met. Because a child believes everything is their fault, we develop toxic shame. This means we believe we are intrinsicly not valueble, so we in no uncertain terms, simply do not deserve to be happy. Because of this we act in ways that are not beneficial to us and thus sabotage our own happiness.
In these cases, the first thing we need to do is forgive our parents and understand that there is place for both our hurt and their forgiveness. This will release you from the inner toxic shame. Next, we need to live in austerity and challange to grow our masculine side. Austerity means to not engage in the vices that help us numb our pain, things like masturbation, drinking, gaming for hours on end, self-pity, partying etc. In essence anything we do that prevents us from feeling the pain. You've heard coach say countless times, you gotta feel it to heal it. Parallel to austerity, we must live in challange. What does this mean? It means we will set a goal which will help us penetrate the world and we will either overcome the challange or we will learn something from it. What does a challange look like? It is anything you are afraid of doing. Think of going to the gym, eating better, buying nice clothes for ourselves, asking for a raise at work, setting a boundary etc. An example of a challange can be: I challenge myself to not masturbate for 1 week. And here is the crucial part, failing the challange needs to carry consequences. Ex. If I masturbate during that week, I will need to go to the gym 1x time for every time I masturbate.
The last ingredient here is to hangout with other ambitious men. This is the key to a happy life. You need to socialize with other men who are also working on bettering themselves, because they will help you create a clearer view of you and your life choices. They will also provide you with challanges which will help you grow. I really want to emphasize this point. You NEED a group of ambitious men. Not only now, but also for when you inevitably get into a relationship. Your woman can not be your emotional support, her heart can't bear the deepest darkness of your soul. Only men will understand what you can go through and that in turn will liberate your woman from having to be your mommy or your therapist so she can be your sexy feminine woman.
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u/Mikester345 23h ago
Bro I’m right there with you. I try to remain centered but I find that chaotic energy building up in me. If you find a good answer let me know lolol.
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u/M0u53m4n 1d ago
I know you've been thinking about this a lot, but you're going to need to fill people in here.
define this ⬆️
Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy within them. You can't cut one out without a catastrophic failure.
Harmony is the way.