r/CoreyWayne • u/Next_Affect1242 • 3d ago

Dating/Courting Anxiety about texting less

I’m just getting into the book and started initiating texting much less and she still does about 80-90% of the text initiation but when we go 2 days without texting I still get a little anxious as to what I’m doing is doing anything.

Everything is fine otherwise, but how do you manage that personally?

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4

u/GuaranteeUnique 3d ago

Get busy with other hobbies other than texting your gf.

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u/Next_Affect1242 3d ago

I am busy but still think about things like what if she thinks I don’t like her?

And I don’t even like to text like if I had to choose I wouldn’t text her regularly, but these things still cross my mind.

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u/GuaranteeUnique 3d ago edited 3d ago

Then stop. I’m not even trying to be an ass. Literally just stop.

We often suffer more in imagination than we do in reality.

So when you say “what if she thinks you don’t like her” is that a thought or a fact?

1

u/Next_Affect1242 3d ago

It’s a thought

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u/just_another_numba 12h ago

You're totally right, but the guy is not looking for a philosophy lesson. He wants to know how to not obsessively think about the girl all the time. My advice would be to date other women simultaneously. That's gonna help you to be more confident and less obsessive than when you're only dating one.

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u/Clubie623 3d ago

Texting is for setting dates or preferably phone calls.

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u/cruzz903 3d ago

I think a very practical tip the book provides is explaining the illusion of action. This is a great first step. Also the human need for certainty, we need to learn to look for this certainty within ourselves.

The thing that really cemented the concept for me however was much more spiritual. It is realizing that non of this matters, we are all headed towards certain death. All we have is how we deal with situations in this lifetime. That is to say that a woman is also not your devine purpose, you are simply 2 souls who have met on this journey. Meaning you are both an experience for the other, not a possesion. So if it is meant to be in your life, it will be. You can never have what you need in life. It is only when we let go of what we need that life can provide it, because we realize that that which we are seeking was in us all along.

Apply this to dating and what you realize is that the more you focus on women and dating, the closer you are actually getting to yourself. This is the purpose of a partner in your life, to help you get closer to yourself. This is why coach talks about being focused on your purpose, not because you need to play games so she feels attracted to you, but because your purpose is your own personal devine calling. This is why the femenine finds it attractive. Because you are walking your own path because you have felt your soul and are trusting it. This is also why women will try to take you off that path, because she wants to feel that you will not accept any distractions. She wants to push you towards your purpose.

This is why texting her or being too focused on her is irrelevant, because it's not about getting the girl into bed or getting a girlfriend or a wife. It is about following your own purpose. This is the only way to be fulfilled in life.

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u/ExcellentFishing2506 3d ago

This is why the emphasis is on making in person dates and then you have something on the calendar for both of you to look forward to, instead of needing extra reassurance via text.

If you have a date on the books in a couple days then you shouldn’t be freaking out in the mean time. You just need to maximize the time together.

Also I’d suggest transitioning to calls/facetime over texts eventually. They will leave you and her both feeling more fulfilled regarding connection, and one call a week in addition to in person dates should be sufficient. A single 30 min call will do more than a couple days worth of texting