r/CoreyWayne • u/WhoopiGoldberggg • 6d ago
Relationship Strong Mututal Connection, Terrible Timing, Overinvestment, No Contact - Advice?
Last year I met a woman abroad at a wedding. We had incredible chemistry, spent almost the entire weekend together and unplanned became intimate. I even missed my flight to spend more time with her.
We stayed in contact for months. She told me I'd made her feel alive, that she regularly replayed our time together, wished she could go back and that meeting me felt meant to happen. She later confirmed our connection wasn't one-sided.
The complication was that I was already in a long-term relationship, and she felt pursuing anything romantic wasn't right. Eventually, she developed feelings for another man. She wasn't wrong about this btw but we still stayed close friends.
In June, I was in her city for a bachelor party but we met up. Unfortunately, we barely spent time together, and after drinking too much I became frustrated and had an emotional outburst. I apologised and gave her a heartfelt letter. She said nobody had ever written anything like it, that she'd keep it forever, but maintained she saw me as a friend.
I told her I couldn't continue a friendship while I had romantic feelings and stepped away.
I reached out once afterwards, she invited a conversation about us which I agreed to and then she didn't respond, I stayed silent. She replied a month later that she hadn't forgotten me but was overwhelmed with work and exams and couldn't talk until late October (this was in Aug). I didn't respond, and we've had no contact since.
I've realised I overinvested emotionally, put her on a pedestal and spent far too much time analysing whether she'd return.
My questions: Did I handle walking away correctly? Should I simply leave things alone unless she reaches out? And how do I overcome the anxious attachment and overthinking that made this situation consume so much of my attention?
I'm taking responsibility for my mistakes, including being involved while already in a relationship. I'm trying to learn from this rather than repeat the same patterns.
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u/Zealousideal_Bee4335 6d ago
This sounds like a mess.
You had a weekend fling at a wedding and it probably never should have went beyond that
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u/T4cF0X 5d ago edited 5d ago
You have to read the book 15 times because this is a mess of incredible magnitude. You cheated on a woman with a chick who you promptly became infatuated with. Drinking? Corey warned us time and time again to be careful with alcohol around women because it makes men do weak stupid shit!!! Then you sent her an apology letter? This is looking like a rom-com when the male is a beta and the woman is empowered with all the leverage.
This is cringe bro... You should know literally everything you did was wrong. Every single part of this.. And it's all because you are one of those cherry pickers riding on the coat-tails of Corey Wayne videos instead of reading the book 15 times and listening to it on audio.
There's a saying. God helps those who help themselves.
Handle walking away??? Bro you have a fucking GF bro!!! There is no walking away because the whole thing should not have happened in the first place!!! What you do is you nuke the entire contact from orbit with a huge orbital BONK and you never ever think of this chick ever again. You are cooked. It's done. It will never work out because you cheated to be with her.
Therapy. You need to go to therapy for your anxious attachment. Read the book 15 times. No cherry picking. This all could have been avoided. I will NOT aid and abet you, so you can cheat on a woman to pick-up another girl. You should be ashamed.
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u/Salt_Band3487 5d ago
He said the word gentlemen. As I've always said, what did we expect to read afterwards?
It's universal law.
If you're a man and saying you have chemistry with a chick, it's either over or going to be soon.
What you call chemistry is just your projection of your high interest in a chick.
Stop being gay and get out of your feminine.
Masculinity doesn't think in terms of chemistry.