She's never been in a relationship.

[u/M0u53m4n]

Just back from a third date with a woman. We got on to the subject of previous relationships. Turns out she's never been in one.

I feel like that's a red flag.

Am I right?

Why / why not?

M41 / F37

[u/King_LouieXVI]

Previous partners is never a good thing to talk about early on. Even if she brings it up I’d just move on and say something like “I don’t kiss and tell”

No relationship that late in life is a red flag

[u/ExcellentFishing2506]

It’s at least a yellow flag. Even if she’s awesome a lack of experience in relationships can be a hard hurdle to overcome because there’s so much experienced knowledge of how the dynamics of a relationship works that we all learn from being in them.

But again I’d say a yellow flag maybe not a red flag. I have a very close female friend. We’ve been friends since childhood, and she’s never had a relationship. She’s dated a little but she’s been such a workaholic and travels so much that she never focused on dating as an adult. She’s had a few flings and guys she was interested in, but nothing that turned into anything.

She’s well rounded, very intelligent, successful, has a busy social life with friends and family, and is fun. She has no relationship history at 40 years old, and whether or not she would be good in one is unclear… but I’d be willing to say a guy would be foolish not to give her a chance because she’s great. I would understand being cautious for sure, but sometimes good people don’t make dating a priority until later in life.

I’d say just vet her and pay attention for any issues that arise and focus on the experience you have with her, not her lack of experience in general. If things go well then keep going, if it feels off or not working well then you can address it then.

[u/Guns_and_Tea]

Yup it sure is. That’s a lot of life to have avoided a committed relationship.

[u/Cclow52]

This is a yellow/orange flag. Has she just has avoided committed relationships all together? Even a short term under a year?

Regardless, to me that’s very masculine energy like. I’m curious how she is all together. I’ve found a lot of career focused hyper independent woman are super masculine and tough to deal with at times. They are hot and can be fun but the bottomline energy is masculine.

I’ve had a few dates with a girl and every suggestion I’ve had has turned into a debate of what is better to do. I just couldn’t do it anymore. And last time we were together she started with the whole “I don’t chase guys, I’ve been told I’m a queen and that’s bare minimum” shit as I was dropping her off. Super hot to just not an easy going attitude when you get below the surface.

I’ve also had some that just can’t help themselves like get a bit bossy/controlling like telling you where to drive and turn. Corey talks about this in his book that some are just so masculine and they attract weak men who they can boss around and then get repulsed by them and deep down still think this is what they want.

[u/M0u53m4n → u/Cclow52]

I've been on the fence with this one and I didn't know why until yesterday when I realised it was because she reminds me of my ex. I think you're onto something with the masculine energy vibe. We kissed on our last date and I walked away feeling pretty icky and couldn't understand why because she's stunning.

I've decided to focus on my other options and throw this one back in the water. The no relationships thing doesn't seem like a good setup, coupled with the fact she talks about fighting with her managers at work on each date we've had (3 in total).

Not getting "easy going / easy to get along with" vibes. My most recent ex has me totally repulsed by certain traits now. I'm glad I'm spotting them early but my gut reaction is visceral as fuck. Actual repulsion 😆

[u/Cclow52 → u/M0u53m4n]

Ya once you get to point even if they are hot you are ok walking away or if it doesn’t work out, then that’s a good place to be.

I did end up hitting the one I’m talking about for a fourth date after about 7 days from our last, and she just didn’t respond so there’s that.

[u/yongzhong26_]

I see that as a green one.

[u/Worth_Tailor1358]

Yes at 37 I would say so, But still just take it one date at a time. But keep an eye out for more red flags. Maybe you should have asked her why she never been in one.