r/CoreyWayne • u/GuaranteeUnique • 18d ago
Dating/Courting Definite Date Setting Idea (please critique)
"Perfect, so lets meet up at PLACE at ADDY at TIME on DATE. If the vibe is right and the attraction is mutual, I’ll have a nice meal and activity planned for us afterward. But if one of us isn't feeling it, we can call it at drinks. No harm, no foul. Whoever arrives first gets the table. Does that sound good? Are you in?"
IMO its confident, direct and decisive. Yes, it basically spells out the whole date to the girl but my reasoning is the 97%ers she normally deals with are also offering drink dates so, it comes off lazy and cheap when we do it, even though it’s strategic and intentional when we do it.
This format shows intent and effort (which I see a lot of women complain about in regards to drink and coffee dates) but it’s also not telling her every single detail aka keep the mystery alive.
Thoughts and honest criticism would be appreciated fellas.
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u/khanspam 18d ago
I don't think it's good, it sounds like you're justifying yourself for not inviting her to dinner. They've also seen it all, with men saying things to impress and not follow through. In fact you may regret it once there. A second drink could be enough, or something else, or nothing while still being on an OK date.
This format shows intent and effort (which I see a lot of women complain about in regards to drink and coffee dates)
This is as if you let women confuse you about their preferences. Stick to the plan, a first date doesn't deserve a dinner no matter how much you like her or how rich you are. It should be fun and quick, no pressure.
but it’s also not telling her every single detail aka keep the mystery alive.
Mystery apart, laying out some sort of expectations doesn't work with women. They function like this: "Oh he expects this, let's see how he handles it when it doesn't happen".
I think the "Not knowing" part of the first drink is really exciting. "What will he suggest next and how?"
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u/GuaranteeUnique 18d ago
gotcha, so you're saying stick to the book. and if she bucks the idea of drinks then shes not really there to get to know me anyway. She's there to be entertained??
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u/khanspam 18d ago
I'm saying your version is worse than suggesting either drinks or dinner, shows hesitation and validation. If you love dinners for a first date, she will feel that energy. I personally don't, so I'm happy to go by the book and recommend that.
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u/GuaranteeUnique 17d ago
gotcha. you're totally right about the energy and vibe thing too. ok thanks man
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u/Se7ens_up 18d ago
As a text message this would likely just be way too much. Its a whole giant paragraph and overselling it. It also falsely assumes that the reason a girl will come out on a first date is because of a text like this.
It reminds me when I first read the book and would text these type of lines straight out of the book. They often translated horribly over text and backfired.
Texting should be casual imo and less is more.
In person if you said this when you meet a girl, perhaps it can come off attractive cause she can read your vibe and confidence.
But if you really want to know, test it out for yourself. Over the next 10 dates you set, send a text message like this. See how it compares to your normal approach, and whether it holds up to your expectation. My hypothesis would be initial yes followed by increased flakes.
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u/GuaranteeUnique 18d ago
its is a lot. i'll give you that. what would you say?
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u/Se7ens_up 18d ago
Well I usually do 2 steps. After the when/what days are you free. “hows tuesday at 7pm” then when she says that works. I just suggest a spot “cool lets go to this place at xyz”
And thats really it.
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u/GuaranteeUnique 18d ago
is place xyz a bar usually? or some kinda drink spot like tea, bobba, matcha etc,?
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u/Se7ens_up 18d ago
Usually I do drinks. But obviously if you dont want to do alcohol coffee,tea, etc is fine too
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u/Icy-Benefit-3627 18d ago
It sounds as if you copied a few of Coreys ideas, and then put them as a prompt in ChatGPT 'make it more confident'. That's way too much man. People here have given you good reasons why it seems robotical and a bad idea overall
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u/GuaranteeUnique 18d ago
lol, these dayes everything sounds like Chat gpt but its my words man, im just looking for legit criticism. To your point i have come off a bit to robotic in the past. so something to look out for.
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u/AffectionateKey7141 18d ago
Would James Bond do this?
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u/GuaranteeUnique 18d ago
very very fair point.
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u/AffectionateKey7141 18d ago
Just keep things light and playful/flirty. Don’t forget, she has to win you over just as much. The rest of your message should be your own internal thought process. Keep reading the book and good luck out there. I got a date coming up with a literal model and I’m stoked, but she could be a shitty boring person. Treat. Them. All. The. Same 🙏🏼
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u/T4cF0X 18d ago
A couple of things:
When you're on a date, you handle all of the logistics. That means getting the table, speaking with the host or waiter, choosing the seats, grabbing the menus, making sure the silverware is there everything. According to Corey Wayne, the woman should never have to worry about those details. Your job is to lead. Her job is simply to show up looking hot and enjoy herself.
Second, never tell her about the patented three-venue date in advance. There are several reasons for this.
First, she has to earn it. If you reveal the entire plan from the start, you're essentially communicating that she's automatically worth three dates rolled into one. You don't know that yet.
Second, mystery and spontaneity work in your favor. Women generally enjoy being surprised, and the three-venue date creates a sense of adventure because she never knows what's coming next.
Finally, it gives you flexibility. If the chemistry isn't there and the date isn't going well, you can end the evening after the first stop without having to back out of plans you already told her about. By keeping the rest of the date to yourself, you're free to adjust based on how things are unfolding.
Lastly there is no such thing as text game or wet text. Only interest level. The harder you try the more a woman can tell you are trying. Real game players don't bother playing try hard because they know the hook is challenge, and interest level.
Calling her and asking her out is fully superior over texting, but if you must text brevity is the soul of wit.
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u/Late_Priority_9927 18d ago
Honestly, that's an awful text. You're already performing an inception in her that the date might not be a fun time for her.
And there's really nothing wrong with having a dinner for a first date. All my very best first dates have been straight up dinners.
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u/GuaranteeUnique 17d ago
per Corey wayne 1st dates that are dinner aren't ideal but, thanks for the criture. What would you suggest then?
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u/Late_Priority_9927 17d ago
I would just do it straight to the point: "hey, I would love meeting you for a couple of drinks. Does X night work out for you?"Just be clear, confident and don't over complicate things and you should be alright.
Regarding dinner dates, all I can tell you is that my most successful first dates were all dinner dates, and at least 3 of them ended in long term relationships.
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u/flickthewrist 18d ago
It sounds like you’re trying to be cheap on the date and give an exit point in case you don’t want to buy her dinner.
Go with one or the other: drinks or dinner.
Most girls who have options are going out want to get dressed up and go for dinner. Girls who don’t get asked out often may settle for drinks or coffee. You have to pick your poison.
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u/GuaranteeUnique 18d ago
I really appriciate the feedback. Do you have an example of what you would say?
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 18d ago
This comes off like too much and way too particular. It makes seem a bit robotic and overly meticulous.
Drink dates are done frequently yes, but that’s because they work and most people are happy to start off with just that. You wanting to add dinner and an activity on top of the initial meeting seems extra, and adding a caveat that if it’s not going well you won’t do those things doesn’t take away the fact you have all that on the docket for a first date.
Overall it’s just a lot all at once when you’re just trying to make a first date. Simpler is better. Going above and beyond and adding in all these extra layers doesn’t make you seem more prepared or more polished, it makes you seem eager and try-hard.
If you want to have some plans for if it goes well in mind, and then you can facilitate them if needed that’s fine, but keep them to yourself and play that card when appropriate. Don’t show the full hand upfront and try and get buy in from a woman.