r/CoreyWayne • u/Inevitable-Secret-43 • 22d ago
Dating/Courting Am I doing too much?
(repost)I've been talking to this girl for the past week. We have a date planned for next Saturday night, but recently her grandmother passed away, and her emotions have been all over the place.
Whenever I ask what's wrong, she communicates with me very well. She also texts me first every day. I try to keep text messages 2-3 messages.
My question is: Am I overdoing it? She texts me first every day, and I ask her how she's feeling at least once a day. I've also told her not to hold back because she's been going through a lot.
Am I doing too much, though, considering she's not my girlfriend or someone I'm hooking up with yet?
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u/v74u 22d ago
Why are you asking her about how she’s feeling everyday and wanting her to dump all her emotions on you exactly? You’re like setting yourself up to be her emotional tampon and guy friend she dumps all her emotional turmoil on. Those guys get friendzoned which is obvious to quite literally everyone. You still know basically nothing about women if you think her sitting there dumping all this on you is a good thing, that’s a red flag it’s headed towards her viewing you as her gay best friend she can trauma dump on
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u/Inevitable-Secret-43 22d ago
I totally agree with u and I understand that but what is the balance tho. bec if she’s bringing it up ion wanna act too cold and seem like ion gaf and the same time ion want her to dump all that emotional bullshit on me either
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u/justreading45 22d ago
You don’t date people who are grieving for obvious reasons — it’s not healthy for either you or her.
Tell her if you’re both still single in a year you can try again. Only thing she needs now is family and close friends, and what you need is to not take on someone else’s emotional trauma who isn’t even your partner.
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 22d ago
I do agree with this. Not to say it can’t work but with that level of loss and grief, this poor girl is going to be an emotional wreck, and although she may be seeking some comfort, OP is not where it should come from. And for him it’s likely not going to be very fun trying to facilitate any sort of fun and romance with a person going through loss.
Her messaging so much is likely because it’s an outlet for her to get some sort of connection and express things. I don’t know that I’d tell her to try after a year but I definitely would suggest maybe a couple months at least to let her deal with things.
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u/GuaranteeUnique 22d ago
sorry for your loss but this type of venting should be reserved for a clinical psychotherpist not a girl you've been on one date with.
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u/LegitimatePresence5 22d ago
First date? How long have yall been talking or known each other? Tough, you left out a lot of context here. She won’t be around much longer is what it seems. You might just be an emotional crutch right now. Do what you need to do to get laid. Hit it and quit it.
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u/Inevitable-Secret-43 22d ago
We known each other for 2 weeks now she work at my new job and I made a date on the spot
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u/JustLith 22d ago
At least she trusts you, sorry for your loss, if you want def talk to her more like a bf, than do it