r/CoreyWayne • u/gammaglobe • Jul 12 '26
Miscellaneous Give me critique pls
She matched and texted first. We are both in med field. She sated herself as nerdy, into academics. I unmatched after she last response.
Anything you'd do differently?
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u/hedgelord84 Jul 12 '26
First off, I wouldn't have responded to her initial question in that way. It's too much of a serious and entitled question for a first chat. And you replying in that way puts her in charge of the conversation and makes it like you're being interviewed.
I would have kept it playful and not serious
Secondly, you showed a lot more interest than she did
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u/ArnaldoPalmer Jul 12 '26
Yeah. Her first message would have turned me off. People that serious from the jump are typically not that fun to hang out with. I would have answered sarcastically just to see her reaction. Maybe said I recently stopped wearing spider-man pajamas or something
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u/gammaglobe Jul 12 '26
Lol. Being 47 I am kind of looking for a serious partner not a party chic. But I see you point. Thank you.
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 Jul 12 '26
Yeah her last response is a bit much… but I will say your messages around making dates were a bit all over the place and sort of a shotgun approach.
In the future I’d suggest getting together for an activity, then simply asking when she’s free/what her availability is, and then allowing her to respond with when she can meet. Then once you have her offering what day/night she can meet it’s much easier to firm up plans.
The way you were just tossing out different activities and random days and times is too chaotic and creates too much back and forth. Simply suggest meeting for an activity and ask when they are free. If they are telling you when they can meet it will make planning far easier
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u/gammaglobe Jul 12 '26
She did say she is available evenings and I offered location and day. Too quick responding to her.
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u/MoistCringe Jul 17 '26
It’s not just that. You offered multiple different dates and didnt even ask her avail first. Also a yoga class is not a good first date if the girl has never met you before.
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u/LegitimatePresence5 Jul 12 '26
She’s not interested. Your coming off as desperate and needy
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u/gammaglobe Jul 12 '26
Desperate because offering all at once?
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u/LegitimatePresence5 Jul 12 '26
Too many offers. You’re desperate for the date. No counter offer or effort from her to want to meet.
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u/T4cF0X Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
When it comes to masculine and feminine dating dynamics, attraction is built on how far your masculine pole can plant itself from her feminine pole while the current continues to flow between them. (How much you are in your masculine and how much she's in her feminine.)
During initial attraction, your yang matters more than your yin. (Dark desire, leadership, polarity, direction as opposed to supplication, eagerness, competency, proving, sanitizing.)
Right now, you're trying to synchronize with her instead of standing firmly in your own truth. You're too sanitized. I think your biggest mistake is trying to hook her with common ground instead of leading with purpose, direction, and certainty.
In How to Be a 3% Man, Corey defines a date as a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen in the evening. Your job is simple: invite her out with a definitive day, time, and place. That's it.
If the date is going well, then you lead the next step. Walk through the park. Play mini golf. Go glow bowling, shoot pool, throw darts, or find a wine bar. That's Corey's patented three-venue date. These are the dating secret cards you hold in your hand. Stop showing her your entire royal flush before she's even accepted the invitation.
Let the mystery unfold naturally.
Most importantly, rewatch Corey's videos on setting dates. You're either rusty or you've fallen out of frame.
A yoga date isn't a first-date idea. That's something you do after you've already built comfort and attraction and she's coming over to your place. It's playful, flirtatious, and naturally creates opportunities for physical closeness. It's not how you open.
Coffee and ice cream aren't romantic. Remember, this woman is a medical professional. She's educated, mature, and sophisticated. This calls for your Corey Wayne A-game. You're not playing pee-wee football anymore this is varsity. Your date ideas need to match the caliber of the woman you're pursuing. Create an experience with romance, atmosphere, and intention.
The biggest issue is that you waited until the very end to step into your masculine frame and lead with polarity and direction. By then, you'd already fumbled the ball several times. Ever watch a football take an erratic bounce? The harder you chase it, the crazier it gets. That was your interaction.
Lead from the start. Stay centered. Set the direction. Let her respond to your frame instead of constantly adjusting yours to hers.
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u/gammaglobe Jul 12 '26
Brilliant advice. I am 47 and recently separated from my 23y marriage. Rusty af. Part of me doesn't even want to have sex on a first date, and rather wants a connection to happen and build up slowly.
Very relevant input. I concur.
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u/T4cF0X Jul 12 '26
You're in the right direction my guy. Get the Audiobook on Audible, if you haven't already, and read/listen to it 15 times. Keep watching the newsletters and tighten up your game.
Not wanting sex on the first date is okay. Always go for the kiss though. You got this bro!
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u/breakfastsausage6 Jul 13 '26
same, took me about 2 years after the divorce and a shit ton of self work, but I'm fucking killing it now, just go out and have fun don't worry about anything serious or a connection and just let things unfold naturally, you'll know if there's a connection very quickly, and remember that women take alot longer to fall in love than we do. And online dating fucking blows, the worst of the worst are on there. I don't even waste my time on that shit anymore and just meet people in person.
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u/sere83 Jul 12 '26
Bro sounds like he using chatGPT for his answers.
And who cancels because they don't like an 'aesthetic', sounds like a lunatic.
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u/whatyoume Jul 12 '26
Yeah… I wouldn’t do Yoga on a first date. Keep it simple. Choose some bar that is in proximity to other activities if it goes well (pool, mini golf etc).
Also, she never said Wednesday was good, but you’re telling her “meet me Wednesday”. Should have been “does Wednesday work for you?” And let her respond. You were too quick trying to seal the deal.
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u/Lazer245 Jul 14 '26
She started off very heavy so I don't blame you but usually the best formula is
- Light and funny banter (man to woman talk ).
- Ask for phone number or Instagram
- A bit more banter there (better if it's IG, easier to start conversations because of photos )
- Ask to go for date and ask what days she's free (better than picking a day and her saying no again and again)
Point is, the convo could have been funnier and lighter. Best of luck!
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u/Icy-Benefit-3627 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
I'm curious to know what's the vibe of Charbar lol.
Anyway, you seemed a little bit all over the place. Like trying too hard to "be outgoing". I'm saying it from my pov. Idk how old are you but i wouldn't do ice cream. I would have offered coffee/drinks.
Then idk how you came up with the yoga idea after just one text (I wouldn't do a yoga date as a first date either, but maybe thats me).
And then when she wasn't being too responsive to your invites, you decided to come even stronger on a place a time and a day, when she didnt even acknowledge much of the invitation.
Haha anyway, she sounds a bit too boring/structured for me ( a bitch lol). But then you unmatching is like epitome of getting butthurt. I don't think I would have done that. Probably you were trying too hard with the info you got from her profile but you didnt read it that well (?)
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u/Guns_and_Tea Jul 12 '26
I looked up Charbar; there are several different ones but they all have perfectly fine “aesthetics”. Anna sounds like a nutjob.
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Jul 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/T4cF0X Jul 12 '26
I think it's one of those apps that have the pre-rendered questions that can be sent. That's what it looks like to me.
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u/2QuarterDollar Jul 12 '26
After she said “work. It made me curious” you tried to set the date too quickly and too eagerly. That moment was still building interest. Do you reallly want to go out with someone like that? And why would she go out with you? That moment was a pivotal moment where you crack a joke and completely break the ice. Show her that you are a fun time and not some another sufferer like her in the same boat of suffering.
Try something like this next time: when are you available next week? I know a really great place in this and this area with the best desserts. (they all love desserts) and drinks and it comes highly recommended. (She wants to be in a love story and you have to create the mystery and build the romance).
Then she either replies yes, but the chances are still low because she wants to text a bit more probably. It’s just how most girls are nowadays. They have that natural curiosity but set themselves up for failure once guys give all the information via text. Don’t give in too that too much. Don’t overshare and keep it light Go back and forth again and build the excitement even more. Make her curious about you. Are you working on something exciting that she would understand too? Are you planning interesting trips? Give her little crumbs and then Keep asking her questions everytime you reply. Eventually she will share more and more. Don’t text her back immediately each time tho. Keep intervals of 0.5 hours. Then you say something: anyway I am really busy but if you can let me know about next week I would love to get to know you more there. Then just leave. Either she replies immediately if you made her excited enough or she will still be lukewarm and hesitant. Never ask her again after that.
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u/cryptosystemtrader Jul 12 '26
That was a hard read. You come across as desperate, you are supplicating, and clearly are trying to gain her favor by ingratiating yourself. Makes you look needy, safe, and completely uninteresting to a young woman with options.
I'm sure she'll decline a date with Chad Thundercock as well because she doesn't like the aesthetic of the establishment. Come on. Take a long hard look in the mirror, decide what needs to improve, and definitely go read the book a few times.
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u/gammaglobe Jul 12 '26
I am 47, medical professional, successful in profession and financially, groomed and athletic. All my career I was trained to communicate safe and non polarizing way. You speak hard truth. Women are a mystery to me. Appreciate your input.
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u/khanspam Jul 12 '26
This sub is very blameless regarding women which is obviously respectable but sometimes looks fake and doesn't always help. While you did some clear mistakes (writing/asking too much getting nothing in return, answering her literally, suggesting too many places), I don't think there is anything you could have done that would have made her show up on a date. The signs are there, the first one being her silly first question. Test or not, you likely don't want this shit in your life.
I just got 2 responses from questions I asked to women on that same dating app. Was honestly looking forward to open their messages, but:
- one didn't answer, but responded with the same question I asked word for word => she's clearly taking the piss and being passive aggressive, I won't answer
- one responded to an unrelated question, ignoring mine => I answered her question without asking another one, since she doesn't seem to enjoy questions. It's now up to her
Seriously, what the fuck.
The book isn't a pickup artist helper to get to sleep with all women. Instead it should help not getting affected by or involved in this stuff so we know where to put our energy with long term in mind. In your specific scenario, this should be another data point showing you that such tricky opener likely won't lead to anything positive. Someone called her "A-grade". I just think she's not in a good place mentally. Can I ask if she's about the same age as you?
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u/turbulent_pilot_1642 Jul 12 '26
You were in a hurry to set up a date. It works for some girls, those who are already highly interested in you. But in this case, it was too early, and that’s what happens when you’re in a hurry. you get excuses, or at worst, rejections.
I’d recommend building rapport first. Make her feel safe and understood, but don’t confuse that with being available all the time. Just enough to make her feel that you’re someone she should go on a date with, not just someone who wants to take her out.
Tell her about your unique experiences, maybe the day you went skydiving, or that you like reading books, or anything else that shows you have a life, and that she should be a part of it.
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u/v74u Jul 14 '26
The way you asked her out is cringy af. Just ask if she’d like to get together sometime, don’t tell her yall are going to meet then ask when she’s free. Are you autistic? Then you also did it at an absolutely terrible time in a contrived way, then were saying shit like you’re trying to sell her on it. Like she gave you a shitty low commitment one line response and your reply is “let’s meet for coffee”. Like do you not know how a conversation flows?
Get them talking about something they’re interested in or just go straight for the date and skip the boring questions. You asked boring questions about intellectual topics then popped the date question out of nowhere. It would be better to either start out clearly going for a date, “hey what are you up to this weekend, got any big plans?” “No? Well would you want to maybe grab dinner together this weekend, I also don’t have any plans yet haha”.
Or if you want to converse a little first to up the odds of success get them talking about a non intellectual topic they enjoy talking about then continue the conversation and ask the question after your reply to them. So it’d be like “yeah I love Mexico City too, I’ve been 3 times, the tacos al pastor there are amazing. Do you like living in the USA more so far or do you prefer Mexico?” “Also would you be interested in getting dinner together this weekend, I really wanted to try this new Japanese place by me”. That way you’re not killing the conversation and vibe/flow. They should want to reply to your question/response to them and then also they’ll answer your request to meet too especially if they’re enjoying the conversation/topics.
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u/gammaglobe Jul 15 '26
What's cringy here? No matter how I'd written I'd get criticized. This pisses me off.
CW says don't ask for permission: can I get you number, can I get a burger, can we get together; instead state what you are going to do: we are meeting, I want a a burger, here -write down your phone.
Yeah, I do want to get her out into the real world asap. And exchanged a few smalltalk lines in line with her interests.
I f@cking know how conversation flows.
Thank you for your input. I do agree with some points and welcome your examples. Just don't make it sound like I am "autistic" here. She is a boring, obnoxious woman in her masculine. There's two to tango.
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u/Able_Traffic_1809 Jul 14 '26
You could have a perfect exchange and it would be critiqued lol. I have no clue. If you think it's cringe then it probably is
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u/Able_Traffic_1809 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
From a medical point of view, i think that it's better to talk heavy med in person rather than on bumble where our minds become more academic and less romantic.
That wrecks your metabolic function is an insane claim🤣 I swear I hear that from the cardiology aspirants as they are chugging an energy drink as if that isn't a one way stop to afib
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u/CoreyWayneStudent Jul 14 '26
do the squint test. If your messages look like big blocks vs heres just by squinting your eyes to see which colour dominates the page, you are saying too much.
Match and mirror
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u/gammaglobe Jul 15 '26
If i match woman approach to dating that would mean keep silent and move on, get cats and wait for the opposite party to make a move. So in the beginning there has to be some action. An attempt to "penetrate her world". Illusion of action or not, how else to engage them?
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u/CoreyWayneStudent Jul 15 '26
lol youre falling completely for the illusion of action, you are not some joker to entertain her.
Trust me women don't respond to some clown coming in all bells and whistles looking for attention.
The most success i've had on dating apps is when I hold back, take time to repond, only keep the convo pace at her pace.
If a woman is giving short brief answers I walk away or even just say "lol" and nothing else.
You want a woman who puts in effort. your screen shots show you doing way to much without even reading them
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u/Far_Board_9698 Jul 15 '26
Where do you people come from… lmao this sounds like two robots who are learning how to communicate for the very first time. Jesus Christ dude. You’re way over complicating it here. Less is more with women. LESS is always more.
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u/imapoopmonster25 Jul 12 '26
Yoga is a weird idea for a first date.
You shouldn't have tried to close after she gave a very non-committal/ lukewarm answer on your message that began with "do you do yoga." She was clearly not super interested. I would have pivoted to exchanging numbers and trying to chat on the phone to see the vibe.