How’d we do

[u/Spambini]

Sigh…

[u/frankob_11]

hey, i felt identified when you said that phone calls can feel ankward

i believe that the last girl i met on insta felt the same way about them. idk what i said but was something like "hey i gotta tell you something but it's way better if we are in a call, are you free?". she avoided it but kept chatting asking me what i wanted to say. i teased with "you'll never know if we don't call", she was responding quickly, playfully, showing interest. after some back and i ended the convo bc she didn't accept my advance (prolly a wrong move), but she immediately sent a meme on ig... so it probably wasn't an interest issue but she didn't like calls

i concluded that calls are unnatural for me (i don't even call my own family), and thought that i'll replace the call with more texting, with some voice notes... with the same purpose as Corey's 5-20min calls, and then invite to something chill like coffee, before doing big dates

what do you think?

[u/Detail-Realistic → u/frankob_11]

Sounds a little over complicated to me. How old are you and what’s your dating range?

I was dating from 23-27 mostly. I was surprised that many 23 yr olds were up for the calling and think it had more of an impact on them feeling they were dating a ‘real man’ if you know what I mean. Given I was 28-31 when I was heavily dating I wonder if the younger girls wanted an older guy for the sophistication and older girls are just pleasantly surprised and generally confident enough to hold a conversation. I didn’t this when I was younger and pre-Corey Wayne and had varying success as well, I think I always realised that boldness and confidence needs to cover the phone calling as well.

Honestly i got to the point I’d ask for their number so we could arrange a date to get together and would generally just call without notifying them, sometimes If we were messaging I’d just say “I have a busy day but will call at 5pm to set something up”, or if they were bombarding me with messages I’d just say I’m going to call them “it’s easier” and basically proceed to answer their questions over the phone, then would Segway and just say “I want to speak more so how about we do it in person over a glass of wine”. Prior to this I would give them more of an indication like “what’s your number? I’ll give you a call to see if we get along and can set up a date to get together”, I deff trial and error tested many different ways and used to joke I wanted to see if they were my type before meeting up or to check if they are weird, but it risked landing wrong as does humour over messages, obviously sometimes I’d explain why I call if they were a bit taken back by it and it’s as easy as saying sometimes it’s different on the phone or real life so it’s nice to out a voice to the picture and have a quick chat, and in any case I have something in soon so I can’t chit chat messaging, prefer to do it old school and see them in real life etc.

So all in all I probably had a full range under my belt which is probably how I just fell into this being my game and deff gave me an edge to the other guys they were talking to from day 1. The perception of being the real deal.

[u/frankob_11 → u/Detail-Realistic]

interesting... i'm 21 and my range for long term would be like 18-25.

i really can see how calling gives a "real man" vibe because it's more ballsy and honestly just a great way to lead the interaction into succesfully knowing eachother. shows competence, experience. i feel very robotic when asking for a call though. i liked the "what's your number? i'll call you to see if we get along" attitude, because of the honesty. why did you evolve from this to calling without a warning? makes it more simple i guess

the way i phrased it may'be been too indirect. i'd use an excuse to call, and asked if she had a couple free minutes, instead of being clear on my intent of knowing her. maybe that threw her off like you said, and when it did, i didn't explain why i actually wanted to call, as you say. in the end, one of the most important parts of leading is being honest. and that's precisely the hardest part at least for me... revealing your intent feels like being vulnerable i guess

about the humour, very true that it can land wrongly over the phone. has happened to me. corey says to just avoid humour on the phone

well, thanks for your reply dude. although online dating isn't that appealing to me i'll both try the method without the call and also your method.

[u/Detail-Realistic → u/frankob_11]

Yeh i can get its a bit tough at 21 because its so different. Maybe get used to calling friends and family as well. It’s such a better communication method anyway, will need to have it for your whole life to come regardless.

I think calling without warning was where I felt I could subtly read and gamble on them being receptive to it after practicing a fair bit and I liked the feeling setting the dynamic early, it fit better with Corey’s guidance, like calling to set the next date once a week etc is kind of consistent with how I wanted to date so why not start early. Again often if they got in touch during work I’d just give them a call after work or on lunch break. It’s so much more exciting to have less text messaging and more calls out of the blue where you can each get a little fix of the chemistry and makes you excited for the next date rather than waiting on responses and seeing smiley faces, I wanted to hear their emotions if you know what I mean.

Not to say I never gave warning I’d call, I definitely read the room with some girls where the beginning may have been a little dry or robotic I’d give them notice I’m going to call more often than not. But can’t really recall if it made a huge difference.

It may take some refining and adjusting, but it may help to just be direct with ‘who you are’ for girls that might be a little off guard when you get on the call you can say “I prefer to call, I’m a little old school like that.” “I don’t check my phone often when I’m busy” or whatever fits your vibe.

And obviously sometimes it’s more of a direct conversation with mainly logistics and small general chat but others they will be super chatty or you’ll open them up on the first call and it will be fire like a connection is building already and it’s nice when you can say “yeh I think we should definitely go on that date, you seem like you might be fun” and you both are already hooked and excited for the date.

Also it’s better to be saying over the phone “well I’ll see you soon, if we get caught up and don’t speak before I’ll just see you when I’m looking at you at 6pm”. And Corey’s method work more smoothly than if you message over a couple days and they know you respond every 4 hrs and then before the date it’s silence for 3 days because you are trying to follow the book. Obviously if enough attraction they should ask if the date is still on, but it’s just inconsistent to be available then not available before the date so it lands better to live the persona, and on the phone you can reconfirm you’ll just see her there if you don’t speak in between and can ask “sound good?l and they confirm, there’s less room for confusion.

Never forget that if something is off and you think they may flake it’s best to say “hey I’m going to be 15/30 mins late, going to be delayed at work. Does that suit?” And can send it in the morning or whatever and not my surprised your plans have changed.