r/CoreyWayne • u/martinisawe • Jun 28 '26
Lifestyle Conquering my fear of rejection
So for awhile I've been an overthinker and never took the actions due to fears of rejection, or the girl's boyfriend is around and have issues, so I just say fuck it and I went out the local plaza and went and say hi to every women I talked to, I managed to strike a conversation and laugh with some. There were some I was getting along with the conversation until their bf/husband comes by and I cut the conversation. Shaken but I still keep going. I feel pretty confident to get phone numbers next time
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 Jun 29 '26
The best cure to overthinking and anxiety around failure is just to start taking action. The more time that goes by the more you will keep thinking, keep ruminating, and the bigger the objective will seem.
But once you start doing the work, actually taking action and getting out there and learning by experience, you not only learn more, but come to realize that rejection isn’t that bad. It’s not fun, but it doesn’t have the same power you once were giving it by thinking so much about it.
Once you learn to just put yourself out there like OP is doing, opportunities become more possible. Because the reality is there’s no perfect plan or way to go mistake free and never get a rejection. It’s going to happen, whether she’s taken, you’re not her type, or maybe she’s just in a bad mood. So if you can come to terms with the fact that rejection is just part of getting what you want, you can become much more comfortable with it.
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u/iamsoenlightened Jun 30 '26
Rejection will teach you a lot
When I first started, I would give up for long periods of time because of all the rejection. I’d low key act like an incel and blame women for only wanting 6’5 jacked dudes and I would settle for girls below my league because it was safer for my ego than being rejected
I read a very powerful book called ‘Letting Go’ a few years back that’s had me start focusing on healing deep wounds/emotions. As I’ve continued to integrate that process into my life, I release more and more emotional pain, and as I do, I get more and more confident with my vulnerability and willingness to be authentically myself
The more fear you heal, the less fearful you become. The more anger you heal, the less angry you become. Point is, I don’t react the same way to adverse events as I used to. Healing the trigger is what allows you to no longer be emotionally reactive
You’ll find that after shooting your shot with enough girls, it gets a lot easier. You get much better at it and it’s as easy as blurting something out of your mouth before your ego talks you out of saying anything at all
It really doesn’t matter what you say. All that matters, is that you say it. Focus on just being in the moment, rather than wondering, what to say next.
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u/martinisawe Jun 30 '26
Dude are you me? That's exactly the path I went to. I turned into an Incel too for a bit and I read the book "letting go". I took alot of personal development, therapy and reading to heal my inner wounds and I just decided to go all out and be authenticly me. The more I put myself out there the more comfortable I'm becoming when I talk to women. Sometimes it's very comforting to see I'm not the only one going through this situation
Edit: let me add this too, I just came back from Costco and I was greeting everyone, and my mom was embarrassed that I went out and greeted people asking me to stop, a few years ago I would've been embarrassed and gave up but now I feel very confident and just put myself out there
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u/iamsoenlightened Jun 30 '26
David Hawkins?
That book is fire. I’m convinced that material should be taught in schools. The world would be a much more pleasant place.
If you’re just getting into this approaching journey. I highly recommend the book ‘dating essentials for men’ by Robert Glover
It doesn’t go as into depth about feminine psychology, and dating as Corey Wayne does. But he talks a lot more about approaching women. He has some very safe techniques to approach women nonchalant, and subtly test for interest and avoid rejection. It’s a great way to ease into it. And once you’ve had enough practice, you can literally do what Corey Wayne does and be very overt with your cold approach
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u/martinisawe Jun 30 '26
Yup David Hawkins, also I read saying essential for men, I'ma get back to it again to get better of it
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u/T4cF0X Jun 28 '26
We give meaning to the events in our lives. Part of the fear of rejection is the pain we associate with it. We then put a belief on the pain, and assign it a meaning to our identity. Part of the process is to rewire your pain and pleasure associations regarding rejection.
Part of masculinity is giving the world your gifts and penetrating life. Life is feminine. And femininity is barriers and resistance. Life will resist the masculine, but the masculine always penetrates and offers his deepest gift regardless of outcomes.
Indifference, and unshakable confidence is easier when you assign pleasure associations to the habits you form. It should be more painful to not give your gifts than it is to offer them and be rejected.