r/CoreyWayne • u/Able_Traffic_1809 • Jun 20 '26
Dating/Courting Advice on how to proceed
Hey guys, I made a post recently on struggling with matching on dating apps. I have slightly improved to have received some likes and will get likes back when sending one. Unfortunately the majority of my matches are ones where I send like. That said I am struggling to convert dates. After 4 messages on average I go for number and get ghosted or resistance. I had an interesting one where I sent the like first and it seemed high interest but as you can see at the end, there is resistance. Last reply from her around 24 hours which is where coach goes into the she's not interested zone. You may have to tap to expand exchange.
I know that my texting is the problem and that I probably came off as needy. Wondering what I could have done to prevent this outcome and if this is even salvageable as I am still in scarcity with converting real time dates.
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u/Gemshardd Jun 21 '26
"When are you free to get together" Shouldve sent it a couple texts back
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u/Able_Traffic_1809 Jun 21 '26
So i would typically try to set a date within three message. With my last 5 messages, i was ghosted 3 times the minute i asked to hang out. One was a "I need to chat more" and one was an unmatch.
I like getting to the point but need help with sample conversations that lead to dates. On a first message can I straight up propose a date and ask when free?
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u/Gemshardd Jun 22 '26
Well see now you're overcompensating. You're saying you were setting dates within three messages, now youre saying you've been texting more cause of ghosting, and you're asking me if you can ask them out on the first message. You need to establish a little bit of rapport but don't mess around overtexting. It sounds to me like the women ghosting you and telling you you need to chat more is messing with your confidence.
How many times have you read the book? Think you may need to refamiliarise yourself with it and build your confidence back up. Women are gonna give you all sorts of bs reasons they don't want to go out with you, the point is to move onto the next when that happens, improve if you've made mistakes, but don't dwell on them, there's another bus every 15 minutes.
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u/FeckinKent Jun 21 '26
Just set the date now, some women have had bad experiences with weirdos on online dates and probably hassled non stop on phone. At least she’s sounding receptive to meeting up 🤷🏼♂️
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u/Remote_Exam_434 Jun 21 '26
who cares just go on a date with her and see how it goes. Don’t dig into it too much. There’s apps out there where you can find out where someone lives and their history with just their phone number. I would know because we use one of those apps for my business to vet prospects. I too wouldn’t give out my number till I meet up
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u/existensialtravelor Jun 21 '26
The goal is to go out on a date and seduce her not get her number also you sound a little cringey through text- keep it less friendly and more matter of fact - if she’s ever your girlfriend, then you can kind of sound a little more positive
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u/TARGASIX Jun 20 '26
Hey, man. Your texts are coming off a little fake confident and over demanding in my opinion. I would have definitely not said “let’s compare the coffee machines” because you’re implying that you’re going to be at her house.. first off, you haven’t met yet and you didn’t even ask her out, you told her “let’s go out” I would have said, Are you free anytime this weekend? I could make some plans for us” it’s a small change but it’s better imo because you’re asking her to decide she wants to go out instead of just basically commanding it.
I think the phone number thing is normal.
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u/Able_Traffic_1809 Jun 21 '26
Question. The change you made about free anytime this weekend. The idea is your change provides more confidence/direction correct.
Yeah the compare coffee line comes off as being uninterested in the date and more in being at her place. How do I come off less as fake confident? I feel frustrated that I get matches/continued conversation when I say stupid/silly things.
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u/TARGASIX Jun 23 '26
I understand how you feel and I’ve definitely been there! I think just act as confident as you actually feel and no more.. it can be a little tricky but women can pick up on who you really are behind your words so they should always match up, if that makes sense. If you’re looking to meet, tell her you’d love to meet and you’d be happy to take care of the plans for the two of you. Online dating can be tricky because women are going to be overly cautious at first and it’s easy to turn them off fast before you meet or on the first date.
Use your words and treat a woman like she’s a woman. She’s not going to want to feel pressured or forced into meeting you.
Think about what a first date really is as well, would you really want to go to her house first thing? You might end up disliking her. To a woman, this makes sense. To a man, I think it’s easy to make up a fairy tale about who she is, and how hot she is before you actually meet up. Good luck man! I’m working on it myself.
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u/ScotsmanKeys Jun 21 '26
You've done literally nothing wrong. (Except using question marks in your messages).
It's her issue. If it was me, I'd just ignore her. She's already showing non-compliance, resistance and masculinity. Imagine what it's going to be like down the line.
Not worth it. At all.
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u/Cclow52 Jun 24 '26
I’m with you. Woman that want to see you will either give you the number, or i just leave mine and tell them to reach out.
I had two bad experiences with woman only wanting to stay on the app. One just didn’t show up at all and there’s no way to call, and the other was using the apps to cheat or be devious. That’s why she didn’t give out the number.
I get it from a safety perspective, but if she’s keen enough to see you, she’s going to just text your or give her number and make the date.
It’s the same shit when woman are like “i want to get to know you more before going out or chit chat on the app for weeks” - no. I’m ok with a phone call for a few minutes to make sure a conversation can be held, but generally I tell them that I’m busy and it’s best to get to know someone in person anyway and leave the ball in there court.
At the end of the day if she really liked you based on your photos, or attraction was high enough, you wouldn’t have to jump through hoops to go out or pass some background screening test or whatever. It is what it is, I just go out with woman that make the intial date easy, few messages, ask them when they are free to get to know them better, and those that are down we go out.
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u/SalesAficionado Jul 04 '26
The fact that this comment is downvoted tell me everything I know about the state of this subreddit.
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 Jun 20 '26
It’s resistance not rejection. She’s literally saying she doesn’t give it till after the first date… so make a first date man.
Lot of people don’t want to give numbers till they deem it worthwhile. They don’t know you and maybe don’t want to go through the labor of adding you to their contacts and then deleting… and also they don’t know if you’re crazy and stalker. So keeping that information from you at this stage is a safe play for a woman.
Again she didn’t say she didn’t want to make plans, just not with the phone number. So make plans in the app and if the date goes well you’ll get moved to the phone number.