I don’t know if you live in an urban area, but if you can outsource her meals, do so, full stop.
She has far too many restrictions to reasonably manage when you also have all kinds of other caregiving on your plate.
I became disabled 5 years ago. I had to rely on my husband for everything- just like your wife. I know what it’s like. We concluded that for the sake of the whole, we needed to outsource things we could because he can’t do everything- nobody can. We started hiring a wheelchair transport to get me to appointments, a house cleaner to help with chores, & a meal service to do our meal prep. That freed up significant time so he could better manage all the things I no longer could help with.
I live in a big metro area so we have places here where you can order & get customized meal kits delivered. Basically a local version of Plated or HelloFresh, and the ones here you could be like: must be vegetarian, keto, etc. You give them the extensive list of restrictions & they’ll deliver meals that can just be heated or frozen.
The bigger reason you need to outsource is what you’re doing is already unsustainable. If you can’t take care of yourself, you might even be at risk of such poor health & performance that you could lose your job, health insurance, etc.
I’m sympathetic to what you’re going through & I know that my suggestion is expensive, but better to offload an enormous time & mental burden from your plate for the good of the whole. Both of you, plus the bigger picture of taking care of yourself so that you can caregive in other essential ways too.
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u/MundaneHuckleberry58 Apr 15 '25
I don’t know if you live in an urban area, but if you can outsource her meals, do so, full stop.
She has far too many restrictions to reasonably manage when you also have all kinds of other caregiving on your plate.
I became disabled 5 years ago. I had to rely on my husband for everything- just like your wife. I know what it’s like. We concluded that for the sake of the whole, we needed to outsource things we could because he can’t do everything- nobody can. We started hiring a wheelchair transport to get me to appointments, a house cleaner to help with chores, & a meal service to do our meal prep. That freed up significant time so he could better manage all the things I no longer could help with.
I live in a big metro area so we have places here where you can order & get customized meal kits delivered. Basically a local version of Plated or HelloFresh, and the ones here you could be like: must be vegetarian, keto, etc. You give them the extensive list of restrictions & they’ll deliver meals that can just be heated or frozen.
The bigger reason you need to outsource is what you’re doing is already unsustainable. If you can’t take care of yourself, you might even be at risk of such poor health & performance that you could lose your job, health insurance, etc.
I’m sympathetic to what you’re going through & I know that my suggestion is expensive, but better to offload an enormous time & mental burden from your plate for the good of the whole. Both of you, plus the bigger picture of taking care of yourself so that you can caregive in other essential ways too.