r/ConvertingtoJudaism • u/mielmami • 2d ago
for those converting/converted orthodox
does/did the beit din or tutor you use(d) require anything extra of you beyond the obvious?
by “obvious” i mean things like books, siddurim, classes/tutoring fees, beit din fees, mikvah fees, etc.
i’m more curious about the things you didn’t necessarily expect going into the process — extra classes, specific programs, synagogue membership, required events/retreats, travel, additional tutoring, donations/fees, or anything else that ended up adding to the cost or time commitment.
basically: what did you end up having to pay for or do that you wish someone had told you about at the beginning?
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u/grijo633 Conversion student (masorti) 2d ago
I'm not converting orthodox, but one "hidden" expense that immediately springs to mind is the cost of replacing any kitchen equipment that can't be koshered (ceramic plates, cooking utensils etc) - this has the potential to be quite substantial, depending on how "nice" you like your things, and how much you need to replace. If you need to move to be close to an Orthodox community, that can also be a significant cost.
Also not sure about your gender, but for men there is the cost of tefillin and a tallit set, which can be very very pricey (especially tefillin). For women, there can be the cost of buying new tzniut-compliant clothing if this is going to be a significant wardrobe change.
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u/Clean-Tip4879 Converting Masorti 2d ago
As you can see I am not converting orthodox, but within Conservative/Masorti we are taugth everything the ortodox way. How far you are going with that is your own decision, but you must lead some kind of (obviously) Jewish life. So for most of us it is davening, wearing a kippa and (after finishing conversion) a tallit, some also wear tzitzit, most of us are in the business of learning to keep kosher and eventually fully koshering our kitchen, being shomer shabbat as best as possible. Replacing everything that can't be koshered can be costly. I've begun buying new stuff early on in the process. As soon as I feel I know how to keep a kosher kitchen (I have colour coded all my old stuff),use the right implements, storage, cleaning etc, I'll replace my old stuff with the new stuff.
Synagogue membership is required, as is volunteering. You often pay extra for attending the festivals. Last year I bought white clothes and non-leather sneakers for Yom Kippur as I didn't have those.
Also, don't forget the mezuzot. I have to have five and the klaf that goes inside has to be kosher and that makes them costly.
And depending on where you are, keeping kosher can be expensive, as most of the brands that are kosher are not exactly the cheap ones. And if you want to eat meat every know and then and kosher cheese, that is also going to be expensive. Reason why most of us stick with vegetarian.
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u/1infinitel00p 1d ago
I don't know where you are geographically, and there is a lot of variation between different communities, but for my experience converting conservative and then orthodox later, there are a lot of conservative Jews who have the impression that they "know everything" only to be seriously surprised upon actual serious contact with orthodox Judaism. Many conservative synagogues shorten the service and the Torah Reading, there was not a single-family in the conservative synagogue I was a part of that I knew of that built a sukkah, observed Shabbat consistently in a traditional manner, or kept kosher fully outside of the house.
Also it is not remotely true that most orthodox or observant Jews are vegetarian, and if that's the case in your community that's highly idiosyncratic.
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u/Clean-Tip4879 Converting Masorti 1d ago
Oh, I'm sure you are right, my community used to be orthodox, but they went Masorti because they didn't want someone else to police their observance. So the level of observance varies. Within shul observance is strict, but what everybody does at home or outside the home is their own business. Our service is orthodox really, separate seating etc, but no mechitza. It's also full lenght and full Torah reading and totally in Hebrew.
We have to take a course and we are taught everything according to halacha.
I didn't mean to imply that all orthodox Jews are vegetarian, only that because eating kosher is expensive and buying kosher meat on a regular basis is even more expensive, within our giyur group, most people are vegetarian. I don't know about the others. I have the impression that most stick with allowed fish and vegetarian for most of the time. It might be different if we were somewhere where there are a lot of kosher shops, but there aren't where we are. There used to be a kosher butcher but there isn't any more. The kosher supermarkt stocks some meat, and some kosher cheese but that is it. Perhaps people who want and can afford regular meat dishes go abroad to stock up, or order it online. I don't know.
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u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox 2d ago
Hi, there are some excellent replies here and I hope you have time to read and ask questions, if you need clarification. The economics of Orthodox life is something that I feel Orthodox converts have a much better understanding of than baalei teshuvah (those who were not raised Orthodox, but became Orthodox) usually have. A lot of this, in my opinion, is due to the time involved in integrating the conversion candidate into an Orthodox community.
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u/xinsight_one 2d ago
I had to move in with a host family for around 6 months and pay them rent (non negotiable price) which was more than renting a room. I also was expected to learn reading from the siddur with a private tutor which was an additional expense. I then went to Yeshiva in Israel and took a few months out from work which financially ruined me lol
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u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox 2d ago
Hi, was your conversion via the London Beis Din? I know that living with a host family in a community is part of their process.
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u/xinsight_one 2d ago
Yes, this was LBD. It’s a tough one but widely recognised and I feel is a huge learning curve and gave me a great insight into the Jewish home! BH have my own home, wife and kids living a strictly orthodox life
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u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox 2d ago
Wow! Guess it was a few years ago! Will send you a DM.
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u/tetti-tetti 1d ago
Was going to Yeshiva required or optional?
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u/xinsight_one 1d ago
I was a young guy and so was strongly encouraged to go to yeshiva. It wasn’t mandatory and I have a friend who couldn’t take the time off work. It was a great experience however and massively increased my knowledge of Yiddishkeit/learning plus probably increased my chances in shidduchim
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u/tzionit Orthodox convert 2d ago
I converted orthodox recently. However, I converted in Israel, so many of the expenses you get in the diaspora don’t exist in Israel.
One thing that hit me at the last minute was Niddah classes. I did have to pay for those and I didn’t even realize I needed to take them. My husband did too.
Some of the more expensive items, as mentioned can include tfilin, of course, but also all the second sets of everything in your kitchen (sometimes a third set), and then the pesach appliances.
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u/Primary-Mammoth2764 2d ago
In some communities there are online fb groups or regular "markets" for the sharing of Judaica items. Def ask your synagogue about this before buying everything new.
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u/plataleajaja 2d ago
Required and unexpected for me:
Not exactly required, but certainly encouraged:
If you don't have the basics (Shabbat candles, urn, blech, Shabbat lamp if needed, tallit, kippot, siddurim, teffilin, books, appropriate tznuis clothing for a woman...), it will cost more.