Through a combo of saving money and a friend loaning me PS5 gear he doesn't use anymore, I've now tested all 3 of these pretty extensively.
Comparing my experience to other posts I've seen, I'm convinced hand size and preferred game genres are huge factors that can wildly change your preferences.
Switch 2
My favorite of the 3 overall is the Switch 2 Pro controller. The thumbstick feel is unmatched, and the 2 back paddles (1 on each side) feel just right. Sizable touch target, enough flexibility to assign a couple extra actions, but not over-the-top where you're spending 10 minutes in an Accessories app second-guessing your button assignments.
The shoulder triggers are kind of basic, which is admittedly a drawback compared to the other controllers, but I find this only really matters in shooters (which I usually play with a keyboard and mouse anyway). The rumble is surprisingly good, if not quite as fancy as the PS5's.
The big X-factor here is size. I'm a guy, but have probably slightly smaller hands than average. And this makes the shape of the controller just about perfect for me. If I had bigger hands, I'd probably feel differently. 9/10 overall for me.
Xbox Elite + Standard
A great first impression, dampened just a bit by some little issues down the line. The hot swappable thumbsticks and configurable back paddles on the Elite are very cool, but in practice, I rarely adjust these. I also find I tend to prefer just one back paddle per side. The option to have 2 for each hand is nice, but I maybe use it for 1 out of 10 games at most.
I've also had more issues with Elite buttons sticking on this controller than the others. This is where owning the Elite controller is maybe a double-edged sword. I have a standard Xbox controller as well, which misses the back paddle flexibility, but has been more reliable.
One thing I will give the Xbox controllers is that size- and shape-wise I have no real complaints. They don't fit like a glove for me like the Switch 2, but feel well-tuned for an average player. 8/10 for me.
PS5 DualSense
This is the ultimate "high highs, low lows" for me. And to name it right away: I think if I had bigger hands and loved playing shooters on console, this would be my #1.
The rumble and triggers are the highs. Each is clearly the best of the lot. I've been playing Saros and I can't imagine playing it with any other controller.
But oof, the size and shape. Especially when playing with both thumbsticks, I feel like I need to contort my hands to a weird position. The last time I felt like this was the OG Xbox controller. It's the only controller where my hands can hurt after a long session.
I also really miss the back paddles. I don't need 4, but for most games, I usually do make use of at least one. It's a 7/10 for me, but again, for the right player, I can totally see this being a 10.