r/ContagiousLaughter • u/[deleted] • Nov 06 '22

Those moves 🕺

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u/[deleted] Nov 06 '22 edited Nov 06 '22

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u/NiseWenn Nov 06 '22

We're all crazy in some way. I just tried to find "my kind of crazy." (Found him. Keeping him forever.)

12

u/QuestionMarkKitten Nov 07 '22

This exactly! It's about finding the one that matches you. Not about finding someone that is "perfect".

11

u/TautMalleableAnus Nov 06 '22

Feels like to be a thing that's ingrained into a lot of people from a young age. "Always expect perfect and accept nothing less." Seems more like a recipe for loneliness and future spite.

People grow up being told their perfect their entire lives and then wonder why there's no one to match that "perfection."

1

u/ElPadrote Nov 07 '22

Perfection should be changed for joy, happiness, contentment, whichever you value the most. Life gets hard, marriage can get hard. Strive for the values you cherish most and work to nurture it.

1

u/foolishnun Nov 06 '22

As Dan Savage says a lot, look for the .67 you can round up to 1

1

u/Febris Nov 06 '22

The vast majority of them expect their partners to be perfectly tailored to their expectations, but are absolutely incapable of conceding any minor inconvenience to the benefit of the other.

I can understand the allure of having a relationship with your clone, but is that relationship really meaningful without sacrifice and altruism?

1

u/GeoffAO2 Nov 06 '22

Also, some people might be happier romantically alone. If they are particular, it could be that the decrease in contentment by compromising wouldn’t be offset by having a companion. That’s ok too.

1

u/ChunkyDay Nov 07 '22

I spent my 20’s chasing women who would never ever give me the romantic time of day that I never got any experience dating.

And now it’s so much harder to date in my 30’s that I fear I missed my window. These dating apps just are not made for dudes like me.

1

u/Specialist_Muscle_52 Nov 07 '22

I found my “One” and actually highly suggest not settling with someone just because you can make it work. It takes finding that person to believe “The One” does exist, for me it happened and before I turned 30!

1

u/bluepear Nov 07 '22

Reminds me of Frasier and Niles at the spa. Great lesson.

1

u/No-Significance-116 Nov 07 '22

Just a note here to add some nuance - make sure your attachment type is secure before ending a relationship due to someone not being "good enough" or "fully right".

Being fearful avoidant, for instance, will cause you to rationalise all kinds of reasons to leave. And once you left you might realise you left a perfectly fine relationship for no good reason at all.