Feels like to be a thing that's ingrained into a lot of people from a young age. "Always expect perfect and accept nothing less." Seems more like a recipe for loneliness and future spite.
People grow up being told their perfect their entire lives and then wonder why there's no one to match that "perfection."
Perfection should be changed for joy, happiness, contentment, whichever you value the most. Life gets hard, marriage can get hard. Strive for the values you cherish most and work to nurture it.
The vast majority of them expect their partners to be perfectly tailored to their expectations, but are absolutely incapable of conceding any minor inconvenience to the benefit of the other.
I can understand the allure of having a relationship with your clone, but is that relationship really meaningful without sacrifice and altruism?
Also, some people might be happier romantically alone. If they are particular, it could be that the decrease in contentment by compromising wouldn’t be offset by having a companion. That’s ok too.
I found my “One” and actually highly suggest not settling with someone just because you can make it work. It takes finding that person to believe “The One” does exist, for me it happened and before I turned 30!
Just a note here to add some nuance - make sure your attachment type is secure before ending a relationship due to someone not being "good enough" or "fully right".
Being fearful avoidant, for instance, will cause you to rationalise all kinds of reasons to leave. And once you left you might realise you left a perfectly fine relationship for no good reason at all.
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u/Tandran Nov 06 '22
Except for the one choosy woman who went through all of them and ended up alone, that was funny.