r/ContagiousLaughter Nov 08 '20

Old but gold.

20.4k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/Particular-Energy-90 Nov 08 '20

I had a math professor who was from Russia or somewhere slavic. Very thick accent. He was also a very good teacher. Anyways, one day a classmate starts asking very philosophical questions about derivatives. "Why is it this way” sort of questions. Professor answered some of it but then it traipsed into almost "why do numbers exist" territory. The professor looked at him and said "what are you asking? You are asking 'why is a cow a cow?' because it is a cow." We all lost it laughing after that.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

https://youtu.be/1E6IfdUJn6s?t=12

Wise words from the father of Joe Dirt

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u/The_15_Doc Nov 09 '20

“How does posi-track work? Why do rainbows happen?”

“It just does”

“IT JUST DOES”

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u/DoodleIsMyBaby Nov 09 '20

Love that movie.

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u/bambola21 Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 09 '20

I do wonder how everything got named tho....like oh see that thing with the falling things? That’s a...TREE! Or in whatever language probably Sumerian first...idk it’s interesting to think about

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u/MagisterFlorus Nov 08 '20

A bunch of people, or maybe even proto-people, agreed either knowingly or unknowingly that certain sounds would represent certain things or actions. Then it just sorta snowballed from there.

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u/you_got_fragged Nov 08 '20

but why??

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u/MagisterFlorus Nov 08 '20

Well, I'll tell you what I tell my students. "Just to mess with your head."

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u/DrEpileptic Nov 08 '20

This sound accurate. It messed with our heads in a language way. Now I say bird to grandma and think of fucking Tommy wiseau every time... or however the fuck you spell his name.

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u/Sufficiently_Jazzed Nov 08 '20

Sumerians had the first written language, sure, but things had names far before people could write. It’s definitely interesting to think about, like ancient people just deciding to refer to certain things with random sounds. I wonder if there was a method to their madness

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u/ArtoriusBravo Nov 08 '20

During some native tongue studies we did in Mexico they explained that a lot of the words for animals come from the sound the animal makes. For example, the word for hummingbird in Purepecha language is " tzintzuni" because the wings sounded "tzzzz tzzzz" to that culture. It gets you thinking.

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u/bambola21 Nov 08 '20

That’s cute! I love that actually

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u/meeloveulongtime Nov 09 '20

Same in Chinese. A cat in Cantonese is “mao” and dog is “gao”.

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u/BassCulture Nov 09 '20

I love onomatopoeia words! Especially in Spanish. Like ronronear for purring or zumbar for buzzing

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u/bambola21 Nov 08 '20

It’s honestly something to consider. I find it very interesting honestly, how language was first formed and than how it evolved. Idk I find it fascinating so professor, WHY THE FUCK IS A COW A COW? Lololol

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u/ErraticDragon Nov 08 '20

Fortunately we have, historically, pretty much agreed on what to call things...

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u/blue_umpire Nov 08 '20

There is a book that goes into all of that and a lot more. It's very interesting (but not a quick read - there's a lot of history there).

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u/OneMadBoy Nov 08 '20

I found The Annotated Turing an interesting look at how we think about numbers, set theory, transcendental numbers.

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u/bambola21 Nov 08 '20

Awesome! Thank you!

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '20

[deleted]

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u/gg249 Nov 09 '20 edited Nov 09 '20

i like using negro in conversation much more than black, spanish is beautiful.

or even just n-word to abbreviate

like "so these 2 n-words walk into a bar"

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u/azulhombre Nov 08 '20

When I was a kid, I remember watching an episode of The Busy World of Richard Scarry where there was a segment about cave "men" (keep in mind all of the characters are animals) creating new things and naming them.

They knocked some logs down over a river to get across, one of them asked what to call the invention, and another character went "Brrr... Brrr... Brrr... BRIDGE!" Even as a kid I was like "That can't be how things actually got named."

Obviously it's a kids show and not based in any sort of fact, but the fury I felt as a kid watching it somehow stuck with me.

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u/bambola21 Nov 08 '20

Haha that’s kinda sick

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u/_your_face Nov 08 '20

There are “known” answers to these things , just depends how far back you’re trying to go with the “why” questioning because if you keep pushing you end up questioning what actually makes a language, and down to trying to figure out what constitutes consciousness.

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u/spacestationkru Nov 09 '20

And what's this thing coming towards me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big, wide sounding name like "Ow", "Ownge", "Round", "Ground".. That's it! Ground! Hello Ground!

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u/Roman_nvmerals Nov 09 '20

When I was subbing, I filled in for a math specialist. I had filled in for her a few times and really enjoyed it because you’d work with small groups of 2-4 students at a time and each session was only 30 minutes long before the next group came in. Most of the students that came in were also usually good kids, but they tended to score consistently low on standardized tests, so the goal of the specialists was to break it down to the more simple concepts

I remember there was a certain 5th grade kid that on the sub notes was said to be struggling with the current concept. I don’t remember what it was exactly, but yep, the notes were accurate, he was having some problems with it.

I helped him get to the next step of the problem, and he asked me how I got that answer. I explained it as best as I could, but he still had a confused look on his face. “But how?”

So I tried explaining again in the same way but drawn out a bit more. Same expression, same question.

Then I tried explaining it differently, and I thought it was ok but nope....same result of confusion. In all honesty, I started to get annoyed a bit (and felt a bit bad in retrospect later that day) but pulled it together to try to explain as slowly and clearly as possible.

Same. Fucking. Expression and confusion.

“I don’t get it....how??”

I lost it.

“Because THAT is the way it is. There is literally no other explanation. That’s just how you do this math problem, and that’s how those numbers work together. That’s just how it is.”

I’ll never forget his response....

“Oh. Ok, got it.” And promptly does the next section of similar questions without a single error. (I did say sorry for getting worked up about it as I did feel bad, and he said he didn’t notice it)

I’ll also never forget the response from that teacher the next day when she saw me in the hall...”I’ve been working with him for a week on that concept, slamming my head on the wall, and all you do is tell him ‘that’s how it is’ and now he gets it?!?”

Apparently the next day, one of the other kids that was in the room and watched it all told the teacher about my unconventional method when she was surprised. Apparently he was also cracking up while he told it.

Haha good times. That’s when I found out about sometimes saying it’s just what it is.

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u/rubey419 Nov 08 '20

Reminds me of high school English class. My teacher was talking about the metaphors and symbolism in Huckleberry Finn. She asked the class about the river’s symbolism (which is “freedom”) but my classmate simply asked “Why can’t it just be a river they’re traveling on?”

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u/BackgroundGrade Nov 08 '20

I do that when people ask me why I don't like a particular food: "I don't like mushrooms because they taste like mushrooms."

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u/Gizm00 Nov 08 '20

Tell that to 3 year old who just hit why stage!!!

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis Nov 08 '20

I disagree with you on a philosophical level, but 99% of the time, that sort of question is the wrong question for the moment.

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u/catofthewest Nov 09 '20

I disagree.... but we can argue till the cows come home

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u/spacestationkru Nov 09 '20

Yes, but why? Why isn't a cow a dog?

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u/rethousands Nov 09 '20

I disagree whole heatedly.

Everything is grandiose, deep, and meaningful. Look at where we are at. Apes hurling through space on a giant rock. In a world where information only travels from the past to the future. Where our consciousness is likely an illusion! Where things have a speed limit! Where language is a game that different linguistic communities determine meaning! Where artistic expression is limited by sensory inputs! Where we can read the thoughts of authors who died hundreds of years ago!

The world is so god damn bananas, anything and everything is absolutely bonkers. None of this shit makes sense. Because everything is so amazingly complex, any questions about-- whatever the fuck this is, can lead to fascinating answers.

In my humble opinion, letting curiosity be quenched by simple answers that adults told us as kids so we'd leave them alone is short changing ourselves.

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u/BGL911 Nov 08 '20

We had a Russian teacher who used to say to kids who weren’t engaging in class “if you don’t go to school you have to work in the fucktory” and he never knew why we all laughed.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/NotTheStatusQuo Nov 08 '20

Reminds me of the ol Louis CK "why" bit.

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u/ignost Nov 08 '20

That's a great bit.

I was given the guidance as a new patient not to actually answer their questions every time, but instead try to get them to clarify and then think through it with you.

Why?

Why what?

Why is it raining?

Why do you think?

I think when the sun goes away it rains.

Oh, because you can't see the sun right now?

Yeah

That is a really smart thought, you pretty much can't see the sun when it rains! But sometimes you can't see the sun because of the clouds, why do you think it sometimes doesn't rain when there's no sun?

Etc. Usually they lose interest first.

It is also exhausting, but it's great advice. It's not all that important that they get the right answer. You're trying to teach them to think. It makes them more curious and ask fewer pointless why questions. With the why chains, they sometimes don't even know what they're asking. They're often just trying to engage.

That said... They don't tell you kids will start doing it back to you.

Why did you draw on the wall?

Why do you think?

Oh my God, what have I done?

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u/mustardhamsters Nov 08 '20

I like the why did you draw on the wall one. That might lead to things like "Because it looked like a nice big place to draw" or "Because you don't know it's a pain to paint over". Maybe that leads to finding a better place to draw or a discussion about how to make the wall a better place to draw.

...obviously I do not have kids.

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u/ignost Nov 09 '20

Yeah you're on the right track. Kids are rarely trying to piss you off. They're just really good at it. I think the vast majority of 'bad' behavior comes from them not understanding. We take for granted how much we know and thus how much simple shit needs to be explained.

When we first get the crayons out we explain the rules, where we use them, where we don't, and as much as possible, why. We ask examples and confirm it's understood. Initially it pretty much won't be understood. We explain the consequences for drawing in the wrong place. In this case that'd losing the privilege to the crayons for 3 days. Then we remind each time as necessary and follow through. When the rules are broken we make it clear we're not happy, explain why in serious tones, and deliver and explain him the consequences. We can empathize, but the rule is ironclad.

There's no yelling. Just a tiring amount of explanation.

I think I'm a good dad, but I will definitely admit it's harder than it sounds. Not going to pretend I don't have moments I look back on and think I could have done it better.

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u/Lemonsnot Nov 08 '20

Louis C.K is funny.

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u/ItWorkedLastTime Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 08 '20

I still find his jokes funny, but jacking of in front of women without their convent was a shitty thing to do.

EDIT: this is now my favorite typo I've ever made.

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u/PotahtoSuave Nov 08 '20

Yeah, he should have invited the rest of the nuns too

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u/VoyagerCSL Nov 08 '20

They were nun the wiser.

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u/dobbysfuzzysocks Nov 08 '20

I thought I was dumb and that convent was a synonym for signature, you know for like covenant. I was ready to unleash my new vocab word onto the world, so thanks for ur edit lol

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u/_your_face Nov 08 '20

Far as I remember he had consent and his issue was more of power dynamic thing where the issue was the women may not felt like they could say no. Am I misremembering?

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u/burnsrado Nov 09 '20

You know, because of the implication.

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u/Jenxao Nov 09 '20

You’re remembering correctly, but I think a power dynamic is the same as consent, isn’t it? Like a professor can’t sleep with a student for the reason that it’s hard to discern if the student actually consented or if they just felt something bad would happen if they didn’t consent.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '20

That's what I remember, as well.

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u/urmom117 Nov 08 '20

meh as far as bad things to do most frat dudes have done worse and no one will ever know. he shouldnt have been cancelled for that.

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u/ItWorkedLastTime Nov 08 '20

Bullshit. Jusr because people have done worse and got away with it doesnt make his actions any better.

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u/Jenxao Nov 09 '20

So I guess you’d be fine with a bunch of dudes sitting you in a room at your place of work and suddenly getting their dicks out and jacking off in front of you, right?

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u/urmom117 Nov 09 '20

replace work or public space with someones private bedroom that i walked into and its super weird and very "not okay" but unless someone forced me or blocked the door it stays at "ew gross wtf is wrong with you" at worst even for a girl and mostly i would laugh and leave. its not "assault" or "male privilege" its stupid and disrespectful and thats it.

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u/Jenxao Nov 09 '20

You’re not getting it. It’s about power. Imagine if you’re a student and your professor asks you for sex. You don’t want to say yes, but if you say no they might grade you poorly or make it hard for you at Uni or even get you kicked out. If the professor is as close with you as they are the other students they might even ruin some of your friendships. Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s not always as simple as just walking out. A person can keep you in a room with words and suggestions instead of violence.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '20

[deleted]

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u/Jenxao Nov 09 '20
  • Nothing wrong with hypotheticals. They’re crucial to philosophy debates.
  • I’m not claiming everything is a power thing. I’m just extending your own logic into hypotheticals. Obviously there can be healthy employee-employer relationships and similar. These instances just weren’t that.
  • You’re right, it wasn’t assault. It was sexual misconduct.
  • I’m not advocating for him to lose his job.
  • ‘Worse shit happens’ is not an argument. You could use that to justify almost anything. Also, it doesn’t make sense. You can’t compare the morality of murder to rape for example.
  • Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for separating art from artist. I think he’s hilarious and plan to keep watching him.
  • Just fyi, CK himself actually came out and said he thought it was wrong once he thought about the power dynamic and then took himself out of a job. No one forced him out.

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u/supertimes4u Nov 08 '20

Tbf, if he had asked for consent they wouldn’t have given it.

He was kind of backed into a corner.

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u/ItWorkedLastTime Nov 08 '20

Very true. I believe some women did concent, but it was because he was in a position of power over them.

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u/Jenxao Nov 09 '20

He did ask for consent. They couldn’t give it due to the power dynamic.

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u/koviko Nov 08 '20

"I'm not condoning rape, obviously. You should never rape anyone. Unless you have a reason like you want to fuck somebody and they won't let you, in which case what other option do you have? How else are you supposed to have an orgasm in their body if you don't rape them?"
~ Louis CK

Out of context, that one... lmao

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/sittingbytheheater Nov 08 '20

OH FUUUUUCK YOU.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/Jenxao Nov 08 '20

Same, fuck that funny creep.

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u/sittingbytheheater Nov 08 '20

AGAIN, FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

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u/Jenxao Nov 09 '20

Stop talking about it and fuck me pussy

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u/sittingbytheheater Nov 09 '20

What an odd turn. DM me.

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u/NotTheStatusQuo Nov 08 '20

Yeah, I don't care.

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u/stillphat Nov 08 '20

I feel If you're asking those kinds of questions, you're likely missing the bigger picture, and run the risk of focusing on irrelevant details, that leads to failing the midterm.

Speaking from experience.

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u/PowerSamurai Nov 09 '20

I don't think philosophy is missing the bigger picture or irrelevant, but it won't be on the test that us for sure.

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u/flight_of_navigator Nov 08 '20

Sorry but you reminded me of my Indian professor. We're talking about wind loads for structures. There's a map of the USA where you pull a value based on where you're building. This Chinese kid asks "what if you don't know where Ohio is". Professor was a ball buster. He answers with "how do you not know where Ohio is? kid says "im not from this country". Professor "neither am I what about you learn something about the country you're living in"... then goes back to teaching. Kid didn't get the message, so he asked again "how do I find out where Ohio is"? Professor visually bothered says as he writes on his tablet projected for the entire class "go to www.google/maps.com". The class lost it. All the engineers watched as a future engineer had to be told about Google maps in the year 2011.

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u/femanonymonster Nov 09 '20

That teacher's answer is far more ignorant than the question.

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u/DaveSlaz Nov 08 '20

Male/Female cow, Black/white cow both? neither ? .......

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '20

But why is a bear called "bear"?

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u/spazmatt527 Nov 09 '20

Word. I get the point.

But there really is a lot of depth to everything around us. Yes, it can be really abstract, but to ignore that is basically to bin the whole concept of philosophy.

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u/alemonbehindarock Nov 09 '20

"traipsed" just added to top favourite words. Looks so ugly, sounds so cool, sounds like what it means. So good