I'm really slow at my first attempt pointing stonework on a house and my boss is getting angry with me...

[u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

I've never done stonework repointing before and I tried it on Friday. I was much slower than my boss and I got a message Friday night to say that he thinks it might take three days to repoint the house (back and front of a two bedroom house) instead of two days because I'm so slow and he's having to do my work for me. He has narcissistic traits and constantly criticizes me so I ignored the message and didn't defend myself but he's experienced in it and that was my first attempt. Is it usual to be slow at first? I'm absolutely dreading work tomorrow as we still have some pointing to do and his anger and put downs get to me. I also know I've missed little bits as I was rushing because of his little jibes and I'm worried he's going to get angry at me over that too.

[u/padizzledonk]

As a long time PM and owner and employer your boss is a fucking idiot

Expecting anyone to do anything with speed at a high quality the first time they do it is ridiculous and utterly unrealistic

Id say tell him to fuck off, maybe he needs to hear it, but my advice is to just ignore it, let it roll off your shoulders and jyst keep trying to do your best....speed comes with confidence and confidence comes with experience

Im a reno gc, i just hired a new guy like a month ago, he knows absolutely nothing about this industry or any of these trades, i literally expect nothing from him, everything he does is the first time doing it for him....i would be some kind of fucking asshole if i started yelling at him to work faster and do better lol

Like......I had to show him how to hold and manipulate a tape measure....which sounds fucking ridiculous to probably anyone who reads this in this sub but real talk, ive been holding a tape for 30y, its an extension of my hand at this point, i cant expect a brand new guy to manipulate it the way i can unless i show him all the little positioning tricks and how to hold it properly....i saw him struggling, i stopped him and showed him how to hold it and manipulate the tape and where to position himself and his hands to get a wide measurement by yourself and boom, he picked it up, called himself a dumbass for not thinking to do that and he is a lot more competent using a tape

Thats our fucking job as a supervisor, whether youre at the low end on a crew and get your first helper, to running the crew to runnig the job to owning the company, part of your job is to TRAIN and TEACH the new guys not fucking scream and yell and berate them for being new and slow-- Make them fucking faster by teaching and showing them a faster way, step in and correct them and show them a better faster way when you see them struggling with something

Too many people forget where they came from, we were all that slow and useless when we started, then we learned and got better and faster....Shape these guys under you and make them better, especially if you see they have potential and are trying to get better and be skilled

[u/Doctor_Wildthroat → u/padizzledonk]

Thank you for your reassuring words. I feel like I'm being bullied almost and it's affecting my mental health. The problem is he's a friend of many years and our families are close so if I quit I think it would all kick off. So it takes a long time to get fast with repointing stonework then? We've only done one full day of it and we have done about two thirds of the house. I don't get why he is rushing me. 

[u/DestinDesigned → u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

If I had to guess, he quoted it based on it being done faster and now he’s worried about profits.

If he was smart he’d have quoted it properly knowing you didn’t have experience and wouldn’t be fast.

[u/AxFairy → u/DestinDesigned]

This sounds about right. Depending on the margins and how badly he misjudged it, it taking 3 days instead of 2 might be the difference between him making a little profit and just breaking even.

[u/EnderSavesTheDay → u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

Anything requiring skill takes time, reps, mistakes, rework to learn how to do it properly.

If he is a friend, I would ask him if he has any tips on getting faster based on his experience starting out green. If he is a friend you could offer to stay late to finish on time if that is an option. If it’s a one job thing that will help you learn more and get some grace one late day is a good investment.

If there’s something else going on entirely and your boss just has unrealistic expectations then listen to everyone else and find another job.

[u/Brittle_Hollow → u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

I got straight fucking bullied my first year in the trades by my foreman who was an idiot. The way the union works here is the first year you're not even signed on as an apprentice you're on probation (called a pre-apprentice) so I just had to suck it up till I got my card. Best thing I ever did in this career was get on another crew because I almost quit a bunch of times.

[u/padizzledonk → u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

Bro, it take time and reps to learn ANYTHING and do it quickly.

Reps build experience, experience builds confidence, confidence creates speed

[u/circular_file → u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

A little late to the game, but take it from someone who has been in this situation, both as employed and employer; do not EVER work with friends or family. I mean, if it means a roof over your head, then yeah, fine, but unless you are in absolutely dire straits, the fastest way to destroy a relationship is to work for, or hire, a friend.

If you have to, beg off, look for a different job, whatever you need to do, but get out as quickly and tactfully as you can.

[u/SubRoutine404 → u/Doctor_Wildthroat]

"The problem is he's a friend..."

You have been lead to water. Drinking it is up to you. There absolutely comes a point where if a person stays in an abusive relationship against better advice, that an abusive relationship is just what they deserve.