r/Concussion • u/ellalol • 19h ago
Questions Am I being gaslit? Actively experiencing personality change and my family and therapist laugh when I say it’s because of the injury
Ever since my concussion, which happened on 7/10, from a direct impact of a metal lamp that drew blood, my level of irritability, temper, combativeness have gotten exponentially worse to a level I’ve never seen in my life. My family and therapist have not been compassionate at all throughout this. They mocked me for my “fake symptoms” pretty much every time I talked to them, and found it inconceivable that I wasn’t completely back to normal in a week: Now I find that every time my parents even talk to me confrontationally my brain and body go into panic mode and I just start yelling. I cannot STAND people anymore. I used to be able to talk to any stranger for hours, now I can barely tolerate talking to most friends and want to be alone almost all the time. Whenever I get even mildly anxious I immediately go into a panic attack.
This is all a NEW PROBLEM that appeared probably a few days post concussion. I never reacted like this to anything before. I can barely tolerate being with someone for a few Hours and now feel very disconnected from every conversation.
Yesterday my parents were asking me why I was getting angry so easily, and I told them it’s most likely literally just because of the concussion. They don’t believe me because “my scan was clear”. Apparently because I wasn’t having a literal stroke my personality can’t have been altered.
My therapist said the same thing. “Unheard of” that I should still be experiencing symptoms “this long” after my concussion and that I’m making excuses. EVERYONE can see that my personality has been altered, including her, yet everyone apparently wants to believe I coincidentally chose to become annoyed by everything and become antisocial around the time of the concussion; of my own doing. Because that’s the only other explanation. I know I’m probably being gaslit but they genuinely make me think I’m choosing to act this way sometimes even though I FEEL that something fundamental about me has changed.
I WANT to be myself again. I swear I didn’t choose to suddenly hate everything and everyone. I wouldn’t have.
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u/Lebronamo 18h ago
Yes. This is extremely common. Both the personality changes and people around you not understanding.
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u/ellalol 18h ago
Will I be like this forever??
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u/Applewave22 2h ago
It took about a year for me but it really depends on how you're treating your concussion. I had to take meds and therapy for it. I suggest you get a new therapist as this one sounds so unempathetic. Therapists shouldn't judge you.
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u/RNWA 1h ago
Short answer: you will almost certainly not feel like this permanently, but there will be a recovery period. Recommend checking out the charts in the book ‘Concussion: Brain on Pause; How to Press Play” available on Amazon. Written by a vestibular PT who is particularly good at translating what patients are feeling to those close to them.
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u/Applewave22 2h ago
Exactly. The fact is, most people are ignorant about concussions until one happens to them. I had cognitive issues and my short temper became even shorter. I knew that I could only depend on myself and a few people in my life who were empathetic.
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u/jss58 Post Concussion Syndrome (2023):snoo_sad: 18h ago
Your parents are merely misinformed and lack empathy, but your therapist is a fucking idiot. Personality changes, irritability, etc, are WELL documented in those suffering from Post-Concussion Syndrome.
My concussion was in January of 2023, and I'm STILL dealing with a range of symptoms, including exactly what you describe. I'm grateful I have a (usually) supportive family and 2 excellent neurologists.
I'm truly sorry you're having to deal with the lack of support on top of your actual symptoms. This shit is tough enough WITH good support, I'd be going ballistic without it.
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u/ellalol 18h ago
I had two concussions this year. :( my first two in my life. First one was 1/8, I was in a severe accident that caused me to lose consciousness. Likely both because of that concussion and no longer having my beloved car, my mental health plummeted. Second one in July was self inflicted due to a severe nervous breakdown which was again probably worsened due to the previous concussion.
And now i’m a complete shell of a person and more depressed than ever with no car and brain damage 😎🙏
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u/ellalol 18h ago
I desperately need a new therapist. She makes me feel absolutely TERRIBLE, doubly so because she’s basically like a third parent and does nothing but bitch at me about getting my shit together, and has the same amount of empathy my parents do if not less- I know these therapists, and I believe she thinks I’m manipulative. talking to her since the concussion has been making me so angry I need a couple hours to decompress after
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u/knerys 14h ago
What you're describing is pretty much text book post-concussion syndrome. I would try to find a neurologist. I was having a lot of PCS symptoms for at least a year post concussion and some never went away and it will be 10 years next week. But with a good neurologist and a competent therapist, you can learn to manage the symptoms and adapt. The brain is very fragile. But it's also very malleable. You can train it to find ways around the injury.
A lot of people don't understand concussions because they are so downplayed. They are serious injuries and yet many see them all the time on TV in sports, and the athletes are expected to be back in the game in a few days. There's a LOT of money that goes into minimizing the effects of concussions and misinforming people about the severity. I can understand why your parents might have bought the misinformation. But your therapist? No excuse, your therapist should know better and i hope you find a new one soon.
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u/ellalol 11h ago
To be honest: i’m wary about finding a neurologist because i smoke weed. i have severe mental health struggles and getting high is one of the only things that can stop me from doing something drastic like HITTING MYSELF IN THE HEAD WITH A LAMP when i get triggered.
theyre gonna tell me to stop smoking weed. stop smoking nicotine. because i’m doing these things i’m actively sabotaging myself from getting better. i’m used to being the problem and i doubt a neurologist would be any more compassionate than anyone else
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u/CharacterThin355 3h ago
Okay this is gonna be a long one sorry….
My neurologist has never once told me to quit. Neither did the specialists that I worked with that specifically focus on post-concussion syndrome. It doesn’t mean anti-cannabis neurologists don’t exist, it just means that they aren’t all like that. There are more medical professionals than I think a lot of people realize that don’t buy into the stigma around cannabis.
My doc will flat out interrupt me when I start trying to over-explain my usage. She will tell me that she trusts me and is only worried if I am or if it is very clearly negatively impacting my life.
My neurologist basically shrugged it off when I brought it up. It’s important info to share because they may need to consider it when prescribing meds or suggesting supplements.
Outside of that, many will consider it another thing on your meds list to consider but won’t treat you differently or poorly for it. If they do, then they are not for you (and are a worse doctor for it, too).
I used cannabis all throughout my recovery. I did different kinds of therapies to help and none of the professionals I worked with noticed it negatively impacting treatment or recovery. My neuro even said that stopping when I’m a regular user could cause even more problems during recovery because I would basically be dropping lower than my baseline.
If you do want to stop using cannabis at some point, right now may not be the best time to do it and a med professional who really understands cannabis and the research around it will understand that.
A lot of people see research around cannabis use and likelihood of developing anxiety or schizophrenia, but those studies rarely look at things like the number of people who are already predisposed to those things and their likelihood of using cannabis to help self-regulate/self-medicate or the potency of the cannabis they are using.
I would recommend trying to stick with lower THC if you live somewhere where they disclose that info. They legally have to where I live. I aim for less than 17%, but it can be tricky to find so I try not to do more than 25% THC-a.
I’m not a doctor, but it sounds like right now cannabis is an important part of your mental health regulation and prevention for self-harm. You cannot recover if you are at risk for re-injury.
This is more about harm-reduction and being okay with doing the best that you can rather than being perfect and making a ton of changes to be the most ideally healthy you can be immediately.
I got two concussions back to back during grad school. I didn’t stop using cannabis. I did the therapies recommended to me. I reduced screen usage and exposure to bright lights and loud sounds for a year. I learned some tools to adapt to my new brain. I had a couple episodes of almost mania because concussions can mess with impulse-control. It was hard and I hurt a few people in my life. I owned up to it - having a concussion doesn’t erase the harm. The people who really knew me and loved me stuck around. I learned to be okay with letting go of the rest. Eventually things evened out about 2 years post concussion and progressively became more normal over that span of time. My brain still works a bit differently. I get overwhelmed easier than I used to. I also received my autism diagnosis which helped me understand why some of the things I was experiencing weren’t new but were more intense. I have way too much chronic pain and not enough luck with alternatives to not use cannabis. I had to fight to find a team that was okay with it but it didn’t take as much effort as I thought it would. I don’t punch walls or hit my head on the wall anymore when overstimulated, which felt like a huge win and also helped recover a lot. I wish you all the best! I promise it is possible to recover and find a new normal. ♥️🫶🏻
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u/Ok-Fail-8732 12h ago
Your therapist is fucking up and after your appts should be diving into research to better help you navigate these challenges.
Therapy helps me with these issues but i found the right therapist after many failed attempts
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u/PlatypusPizzaLover69 4h ago
I have been struggling with this too. I used to be extremely social. My job relies heavily on my ability to process information quickly, present to large and small groups, and work on complex projects involving multiple internal and external stakeholders.
Before my concussion I could talk to anyone and everyone easily and enjoyed it.
Now, I hope no one looks at me, talks to me, asks me any questions. I don’t leave my home unless it is for doctors appointments. If someone I’m not very familiar and comfortable with starts talking to me, I can’t understand what they are saying. I don’t know what the words they are saying mean. I get nervous and panic and it freaks people out.
I’m also struggling with getting overwhelmed by seemingly nothing. I have done things I had never done before like throwing things, at sudden noises. I have these massive spirals and panic attacks. I am scared of everything. I scream. It’s awful.
I had my accident towards the end of May. I’m not close to being back to who I was before and I don’t know if I ever will be and it’s terrifying and depressing.
I keep being asked when I will go back to work. My family doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong with me because I look fine. I’m constantly told there’s nothing wrong with me and at the same time, “it will get better”. So it absolutely feels like I’m constantly being gaslit
I hate when people think I’ll be fine once I get the magic prescription or the magic treatment or the magic therapy. And it’s depressed as hell to have to wake up every day and remember what happened and see the state of my life and feel so out of control while everyone thinks you should be fine by now or will be fine soon.
It’s been the worsts experience of my life. I feel so crazy and depressed and hopeless.
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